Where I been

Dam it seems like I aint post in a long time. But it really hasnt been long, has it??...Well I decided to post now just before I go to sleep. I been having some sad and good days but its life so its nothing to me only a phase thats all I will be just fine. Well how was yall christmas???..My Christmas was great. My son got some many toys and shit and I got a pair of Baby Phat Sneakers aslo a Baby Phat coat..Yes I think im kute. LoL naw let me stop being conceited....

Well this pass weekend I stayed at my homegirl Star house. I had so much fun even had some Long Island Ice Tea(shit sneaks up on u). Shoot we got so drunk to the point we aint know what the fuck we were talking about all we knew that we was drunk. LoL..

Anyways I have been receving letters from Chris...THANK GOD... but he is going to be in the box/hole for 4 months...UGHHH meaning we cant talk over the phone for 4 dam months (now I bet time wont fly so fast now just cuz I want it to) and he still have a possablity of coming home next year (2OO9) Im praying hard too!!!! I Just wanna cry just because I need him here with me.Im not gon get into what was said in the letters but everything with US(relationship wise) is going really good.

Moving on to talk about something else cause I dont wanna start crying cause I miss him like krazii.....

Im so hungry right now I dont what to do but I know for dam sure I aint going to no store at this time (1:43am). I got a taste for chineese food well I know I wont get none of that at this time cause the chineese resturant is closed. So therefore no deliever to my house. LoL...

Aww Quan on his Pony (1 of the gifts he got for Christmas)

Sexy And Slim right??? *Yup thats me*

Interesting/Good Day

TODAY WAS A INTERESTING/GOOD DAY. MY SON DROVE ME KRAZY LIKE ALWAYS LOL. I TALKED TO MY BOSS AT MY OLD JOB(KEVINS RESTURANT). HE WAS CLAIMING HE WAS TRYNA CALL ME. WHICH I KNOW IS A DAWN LIE BUT WHATEVER OR MAYBE HE WAS TRYING TO CALL WHO KNOWS. WELL I WENT OVER TO HIM AT THE JOB TODAY AND HE TELLS ME HE NEEDS MY HELP. MEANING HE WANT ME TO COME BACK TO WORK SO IM LIKE I GUESS THATS KOOL. SO I WILL START WORKING BACK THERE ON NEW YEARS EVE. YAY ME...YEAH I KNOW YALL LIKE NEW YEARS EVE. THATS WHAT IM SAYING BUT ITS KOOL TO ME.

MOVING ON....

I HAD A INTERESTING CONVO ON AIM WITH MY BABYFATHER TODAY. HE REALLY SHOCKED ME AND KINDA TOUCHED MY HEART WITH THE SHIT HE WAS SAYING. OKAY OKAY HE DID HAVE ME IN SOME TEARS. WELL I STARTED THE CONVO OFF CAUSE I WAS JUST SITTING THERE THINKING ON WHY I WAS MEAN TO HIM AFTER ME AND HIM HAD BROKE UP. SO YOU KNOW ME I HIT HIM UP....

ME: I never use to be this nice to u
ME: I was just thinking
My BabyFather: abt..........
ME: Maybe I was afraid I wasnt gon be ur babymother nomore thats proballii y I was so dam mean
My BabyFather: how u have my son how manii tymez i have 2 tell u dat
My BabyFather: i juss needed u 2 get dat thru ur head
ME: I know that....
ME: But sometimes I just couldnt get it in my head
ME: Idk y
----------------------------------------- 1:42 pm -----------------------------------------
ME: I like when we not in a relationship. Thats y I accepted shaneequa as ur gf & started being nice
My BabyFather: lol u serious
ME: Lol
ME: Yesssir
ME: im serious abt everything I say
ME: I didnt have to accept her if I aint want too..but its like she no harm so y should I hate her.
ME: I was happy for ya love life..thats y I didnt get mad when I found out abt the tattoo it was stupid but lol that wat happens when u in love

----------------------------------------- 1:49 pm -----------------------------------------
My BabyFather: yeah i guess
My BabyFather: and i neva wanna tell u who im wit cuz i dont want u 2 feel bad
My BabyFather: n da inside
My BabyFather: cuz i still luv u
ME: Yea I learned that...
My BabyFather: u had my first child
My BabyFather: and dats neva gonna change even wen we fight
My BabyFather: i still have da same luv i did wen we first started
ME: I know u still love me but shit happens & its a reason we broke up
ME: Im not mad at u
My BabyFather: u have any problem wit a nigga u tell me and i got u
My BabyFather: u know dat
My BabyFather: ik
ME: Yea
ME: I know u got me
My BabyFather: and 2 tell u da truth i cant put no gurl b4 u

OKAY IMMA STOP THERE WITH THAT CONVO....I WASNT EVEN GON BLOG ABOUT THIS BUT I JUST HAD TO CAUSE THIS IS THE DEEPEST CONVERSATION I EVER HAD WITH HIM(WELL TO ME ITS DEEP). YES I WAS IN TEARS WHEN HE SAID HE STILL LOVE ME. I ALWAYS KNEW THAT BUT TO HEAR IT COME FROM HIM REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART. I THINK WE BROKE UP ONLY FOR THE GOOD SO WE BOTH CAN MOVE ON AND NOT FIGHT/ARGUE ALL THE TIME. YEAH WE HAVE ARGUEMENTS ONCE IN A WHILE BUT NOT LIKE WE USE TOO. CAUSE BEFORE WE USE TO ARGUE EVERY GOT DAM DAY ESPECAILLY WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER. MY BABYFATHER HAS CHANGED ALOT AND IM GLAD HE DID, CAUSE IF HE WOULD OF STILL BEEN THAT "IMMATURE DUDE" THIS COMING 2009 I WOULD OF LOST MY DAM MIND FOR REAL.

OH JUST IN CASE YALL ASK ....**YES HE REALLY GOT HIS GIRL NAME TATTED ON HIM**AND HE KNOWS THAT WAS A STUPID KRAZI MOVE TOO BUT HEY THATS HIS BODY HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE PLEASE TO IT . I CANT TRIP. IM NOT EVEN HATTING . IM REALLY HAPPY FOR HIM , FOR REAL I AM. THAT SOUND WEIRD RIGHT? CAUSE I USE TO REALLY HAVE SO MUCH HATE ON MY BABYFATHER THAT I COULDNT YELL AT HIM WITHOUT CRYING. BUT I HAVE CHANGED ALOT AND ONLY FOR THE BETTER. I CANT BE MAD AT THE PERSON "WHO IS THE FATHER OF MY FIRST SON" FOREVER. LIFE GOES ON AND ITS TOO DAM SHORT TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE FOR SO LONG CAUSE ONE DAY YOU CAN WAKE UP AND THAT PERSON CAN BE COMPLETELY GONE (LIKE DEAD OR FAR AWAY) AND THAN YOU WILL FEEL REALLY SORRY THAT YOU WAS EVEN MAD AT THE PERSON.

SO LIVE AND LOVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO REGRETS. PARTY HARD AND ALL THAT SHIT!!! LOL CAUSE YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE SO WHY NOT LIVE IT UP?


P.S
-LOL AGAIN JUST IN CASE YALL WAS WONDER "WELL DO HE HAVE OUR SON NAME TATTED ON HIM?" YES HE HAS OUR SON NAME TATTED ON HIM....AND YES HE GOT OUR SON NAME WAY BEFORE HE GOT HER NAME ON HIM...!!!

IM OUT OFF TO READ SOME OF YALL BLOGS SMOOCHES!!!

He Lying

I GOT THIS DUDE AIM SCREEN NAME OUT A CHATROOM. SO I DECIDED TO PM(PRIVATE MESSAGE) HIM CAUSE I WAS GETTING CONFUSED IN THE CHATROOM {EVERYBODY TALKING AT ONCE AND SHIT} AND HE WAS TALKING TO ME IN THERE. IF YOU BE IN CHATROOMS FROM YA SIDEKICK THAN YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS DUDE TOLD ME HE WAS 20??? NOW LOOK AT THOSE PICTURES ABOVE. DO HE LOOK FUCKING 20????. TO ME HE LOOK FUCKING 30 OR MAYBE 40. LIKE HOW THE FUCK CAN HE LIE LIKE THAT??????...AND ON TOP OF THAT HE IS FUCKING UGLY. WELL THATS JUST MY OPINION, MAYBE OTHERS THINK HE IS SEXY..BUT DAM HE UGLY AND A LIAR. NOT GOOD AT ALL...

NOW HERE IS THE AIM CONVO WE HAD....


---------------------------------------- 10:46 am ----------------------------------------
ME: Wasssup
swaggablood: You got me first
swaggablood: I was about to pm you
ME: Ooo0
ME: Awww
---------------------------------------- 10:51 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: You got pics
ME: Yea
ME: Ladii50swaggin@tmail.com
swaggablood: Take ya away off
swaggablood: Sent
swaggablood: Sent
swaggablood: Swaggaallday@tmail.com
ME: Naw im going to sleep
swaggablood: You got them yet
ME: Naw
---------------------------------------- 11:02 am ----------------------------------------
ME: How old r u?
swaggablood: 20
swaggablood: And you
ME: Ya lying
swaggablood: 1989 oct 7
ME: U look madddddddddddddddddddddddd old
swaggablood: Why I gotta lie 4
swaggablood: Ruff life
swaggablood: How old r you
ME: Uh huh
ME: 20
swaggablood: And you look like you're 17
ME: U look 40
ME: Its good I look young
swaggablood: Wooooooooooow that hurt
ME: Im sorry but seriously u really 20?
swaggablood: Yes
ME: Ok
swaggablood: Fighting all my life group homes jail
ME: Wow...
swaggablood: Yea I know
ME: Ok
---------------------------------------- 11:13 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: But your pic are sexy and nice
---------------------------------------- 11:15 am ----------------------------------------
ME: Ya still lying
ME: Thankx
swaggablood: How you figure
ME: Cuz u cant be born in 1989
ME: @ 20
swaggablood: Huh
ME: Nothing....
ME: Forget
swaggablood: Jump year
ME: Later...
swaggablood: If you feel that way that's how you feel
ME: Ok
swaggablood: We can be peoples on aim
ME: I dont converstate wit liars!
swaggablood: Here you go again
ME: Yes I really believe ur lying to me. Ok u say u have no reason to lie but I dam sure wasnt born last night...& wtf is a jump year?
---------------------------------------- 11:23 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: Leap year
ME: Wow u a major liar....dammm shawttii leap year is in FEb...& u said ur bday in Oct..ya not a good liar at all...
swaggablood: The who year gets push up didn't you go to school
ME: Yea I went to school....but u just dont sound right.....LIAR!
ME: Goodday!
ME: Bye bye
swaggablood: What ever


NOW CAN YALL BELIEVE THAT SHIT?????......HE IS SUCH A DAM LIAR!!!!!

The way it is

*The Way It Is* I love that reality show and I must watch it everytime it comes on. Even if I already saw a certain episode I will watch it again. YUP imma fein. This show is very emotional, shit be having me in tears half the dam time. For real. Keyshia Cole is the real deal for real because it took alot for her to put her life on the air like that because she proballii knows that its alot of people that go through the samethings as her and her family go through. People can learn alot from that show believe it or not. Its true though....

Now lets talk about the fucking asshead dude that pissed me off while I was watching *The way it is*

My *Available status on aim* said *YAY Keyshia Cole the way it is show is on...so u already know im watching it LoL... Why Neffe got on so much of lip gloss?*........and this asshead dude hits me up (by the way he calls his self YG)..but I call him Bitch or asshead sometimes...

YG:Wat u doin


I ignored him when he said that, so 3 minutes later


YG:H3llO
ME:Doesnt it say wat im doin in my available
YG:How u know I read dat

first off how the fuck he not see it when he go to send me a AIM, his lying ass

ME:Ok
YG:Cuz she a crac head

I assumed he was answering the question in my aim status "Why Neffe got on so much lip gloss?"

ME:No she not watch your mouth
ME:Just because her mom was a crack head doesnt mean she was one

I meant to say "doesnt mean she is one" but he got what I meant I guess

YG:O well dat whole fam nuts
ME:Naw Naw
YG:Yea Yea
YG:Wit all dem kid she a hoe
YG:U heard

Yes it pissed me off that he called Neffe a hoe.

ME:No she not a hoe cuz all her girls got the same father and her son got a different father, maybe if her ex husband(Daughter's Father) would of never cheated maybe her son would of been his.
ME:U gon stop dissin my fam bam

No they not really my family...lol I dont even know wat made me say that

YG:BlAh
YG:BlAh
YG:Dey getting paid off a TV show 4 having a fucced up fam lol

I thought that was very mean of him to say...dont yall think that was mean?

ME:Shut up im not talking to u until 2m leave me alone u piss me off
YG:Wat u gonna do really tho

WTF the fuck he mean what imma do???

ME:U pissing me off.....shut up dam

Well after that last Aim I sent, he finally shut up..THank god..But yeah I kinda think its really mean when people just come out of nowhere and say somebody a crackhead just because somebody else in the person family is or was one. Thats not nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So what if Neffe or Frankie or whoever else in Keyshia Cole's family acts krazy or whatever thats them and who they are if people cant expect them for who they are than so thats on them people because Neffe and whoever else will always be themselves. You dont have to be a Crack head to be KRAZY!!!.... People are people and they can act how the fuck they want.Right??. You cant change people remember that.....

And by YG calling her a hoe just uggggghhh got to me because if he feels she is a hoe why he even watching the show?? He must like her right?? And Why the fuck he even worried??

NIGGAHS JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO SAY OUT THEY MOUTH...

Anyways...That Keyshia's show will always be my favorite, Imma get the DVD too, hopefully somebody buy it for me..lol

Yoooooooooo Keyshia Cole album is off the hook I was listening to it today on her myspace page..Im about to download the album on Ares for $0.00...
Keyshia Cole is a very pretty Lady *No Homo*...She's my Idol...

Im out SmoOchEs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Me

I have changed my cell number, my aim & my tmail. Im planinng on changing alot of more shit too, but I just dont know what else to change. LoL Maybe my hair. Any ideas on what I should change?? I figured I changed my number cause I have men stalkers and I dont want them two bitches I speaked about in my last post to have my cell number anymore, they can just keep the house number it aint like imma answer the phone for them anyways maybe my mom will and she will cuss them out.I know yall like so what the fuck you changed your number??? lol well I always wanted to change my number cause of stalkers(like Ex boyfriends) but never got around to it or whatever so I decided to change it yesterday. Shit somethings need to change. Im leaving the past in the past. I deleted those bitches off my myspace firends list too. Im moving foward they can say what they want,think what they want I DONT GIVE A FUCK...

Oh I changed my tmail cause I got tired of the old one and wanted something new and I changed my aim cause those stalking bitches and niggahs.


Anyways I havent gotten a letter from chris yet, I really think they playing with his dam mail. I hope he got my letters already cause I mailed them like a week ago. *Prison is no where I wanna go* unless I really have to, never know somebody just might really really really piss me off one of these days and I might go to jail for really fucking them up. LoL....Im krazii I know, yall dont have to tell me.

See I admit to myself being kinda krazii sometimes cause Im just that real. Im not ashamed of nothing. I can meet you in one day and just might fart in front of you and say *ewww my bad* lol. I just dont care thats just the way I am. NO SHAME...and Nobody should be ashamed of nothing they do or say because people should be able to accept who you are and if they cant do that than fuck them.

..................

How was yall weekend??? Mines was okay I guess

Awww look at this picture of my son and niece arent they kute??? I just love these kids.....My niece kinda reminds me of myself in that picture. I dont know why but she just do. My mom says she act just like me at times. So sometimes I be like "I act like that??". LoL Cause my niece is off the hook ,mad fresh and grown with a big attitude. Now I know forsho she got that attitude from me. Me and her be fighting and aruging. She be the one crying at the end and saying "sorry auntie but..." There is always a *but* after cause she know she did wrong. I love her with all my heart and I always tell her she can tell me anything cause she really can. And she just turned 8 shit she better tell me every got dam thing. LMAO!

Well thats it for this post....

P.S ..............................
If you want my new aim s/n and dont already have it just drop your s/n here cause Im not posting my new s/n up on here I dont think......NOPE my new aim wont go up here. And if you want my new tmail address its on the side of my page somewhere on the right side. Just look for it..lol

Why Me?

Dam that Smirroff *Green apple* Ice I just had was so tastey!! LoL
~~~~~

My Son's godmother been ignoring me for a couple of days well lets say weeks. I guess she isnt talking to me nomore. But check this out me & her havent had a arguement. So im completely lost on why she ignoring me. I even asked her when she coming to see LiL man she ignored that question. I asked her why she ignoring me she ignored that question also. Like I really dont understand. Like if I did something wrong or some shit which I know I really didnt why cant she be a adult and tell me whats up?? We both adults. She acting childish to me. And guess what im tired of kissing that bitch ass. Fuck her. But I feel she dissing my son because she is his godmother and she dont even ask if he breathing..You know what im not gonna even sweat it. This why I say I hate females cause shit like this. I rather be to myself with no friends. Feel me?

But enough talking abt that dumb ass bitch..

Why the hell Jay texted me today out of no where??...That niggah is just dumb to me...

Him::u wanna eat?

Me::yessssir

Him::well im downstairs how long u gon be?

Me::2O minutes

Him::wow I thought u was dressed already being that u take lil man to daycare in the morning so I guess 2m we can go

Me:: yea I was but I took my clothes off

Him::well I'll hit u up 2m im not waiting for u

Me::ur mean

Him::lol im not mean just keeping it real

Okayyyyyy why in the hell would he text me when he downstairs instead of letting me know when he on his way that he gon take me to get something to eat so I can be ready. Wouldnt that have made sense?? Fuck that niggah he dead ass be wasting my time. That just made me upset cause I was really was hungry lol. Naw but seriously I was. Jay is such a dumb ass for real.....well aleast I think that.

Moving on....~~~~~~~~~~

I kept twisting and turning last night in my bed couldnt sleep so I started thinking about my past and what could be in store for next year and out of no where my dam phone starts ringing *make love in this club* guess who it was?? One of My EX's calling. Can u believe it?? Im like hello what in the hell. He talking about he want me to have his baby & that I know my son was suppose to be his. At first I laughed at him & than I relaized that he was dead ass serious. So I said *your krazii* cause for real he sound krazii and I see he still in love with me or something. Its a reason why he is my EX so I dont know why he asking me to have his baby. *shaking my head* at HIM. Dam he still stuck on me after all these years. WHAT A SHAME! ....well that sucks to be his ass he better just move the hell on cause I aint having his dam baby...

What the hell is wrong with niggahs now a days???

Some niggah on my aim buddy list right? He always hitting me up talking about he want to eat some pussy. So I be like well go eat some. *Can I eat yours??* can you believe he asked me that???. Like what the fuck wrong with him I told him *HELL NO*. He dumb I bet he going around asking females can he eat them out and some of them proballii say yes. *shaking me head*
~~~~~~

Dam smirroff ice got me feeling a little tipsy....whoop whoop

Well thats it for this post smooches!!

Omg

Okay I had a good visit seeing Chris. But I just kept saying OMG!..Yes I was very moody cause I see my friend wanted to be a tag along so my mood swings were krazii if you know what I mean.

I arrived to the prison at 7:15am saturday morning. Got there they ask " am I there for a regular visit or event?" so of cousre I said "event". So I filled out the paper for the stupid event what so ever and gave it back to them so they can check to see if my name was on the list.Than at 8:15am they wanna fucking tell me I gotta have a regular visit cause Mr. Chris is a BOX inmate(they send inmates there when they fight or something) So in my mind im like "WHY THE FUCK YALL AINT TELL ME THIS TO BEGIN WITH". Im like ok whatever so I had to fill out the regular visit paper which was the same as the event visit paper. Really dont make any sense all they had to do was cross out *event* and write *regular* over it but no instead they made me fill out the paper all over again. SMH. Was I mad??? hell fucking yeah. Than the fucking C.O had the nerve to say *sorry miss*. So im having a out burst in my head im like *WHAT THE FUCK I HATE THIS PRISON THEY NEVER KNOW SHIT UNTIL THEY TYPE HIS NAME IN THE DAM COMPUTER WHEN THEY SUPPOSE TO ALREADY HAVE THE SHIT WRITTEN ON PAPER* ...Yes I was highly upset as you can see.Than I kinda calmed down when it was time to go into the visiting area. Get to the visiting room *desk* give them the dam paper and the C.O asks how tall I am???(guess he was tryna make a joke but I wasnt laughing I look mad as hell). Im saying to myself *WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY VISIT???? *I respond *im 4'9* and Went to the assigned seat they gave me.

Finally Chris gets to the Visting room and the C.O tell him the rules. This the shit that makes me mad WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO DAM LOUD???. Is it needed for him to be yelling the dam rules at him??...HELL NO. Well aleast I dont think so. Tryna embrassing inmates in front of they family and shit. So un fucking kool. Okay Chris hugs me or whatever and he says "baby I need you to sit across from me cause they feining hard" So I sat across from him which I knew I would have to Cause the chair was across from him but when I first got there I moved the chair next to his chair just to try the luck. But no luck thanks to the dickhead C.O. I had to move the chair back to where it was "across from him" In front of him with the dam table in between us.....SUCKS LIKE SHIT!!!!!.....

My stomach was hurting I was just saying OMG. I started crying and shit. Chris was explaining to me why he in the box. The C.O set him up by putting a razor on him. Dumb ass C.O's I swear. They sending his mail out late and shit. REading it too. They know he have a possiblity of coming home so they want to fuck it up by throwing shit in his locker or whatever. Thats a dam shame. They so fucked up. OMFG I HATE CORRECTION OFFICERS. Chris was unable to find out when he come home cause they put him in the box so they said wait to see if he beat the ticket. In other words wait to see when monday comes to see if the razor was really his or not. Which I believe wasnt his. Come on I dont think Chris will have a razor on him or what so ever when he be crying to come home and shit. SMH...Man C.O's are grimey.

Well I was suppose to blog saturday night when I got home but guess what I aint get home until this morning at 12:41am cause of the dam bus door broke. SMH so sad..You should of saw how upset I was but glad I got home when I did cause it could of been later than that....

Well when I find out when Chris coming the hell home I will let yall know forsho..

OMG free is what he need!!!

This it for this post. Im out Smooches!!!

Time Flys

Yes I put box braids back in my hair. LoL I just couldnt help it. I got tired of my regular hair. Yeah I get tired of it pretty fast. Wonder how long I keep these braids in. Proballii more than two weeks I know that Cause I love when my hair red and black instead of just plain ol black.

Wow I cant believe its December already. Feels like I clapped my hands and November just disappeared. I cant believe it. Dam time need to slow down.

I havent heard from Chris yet since I wrote that last post so I dont know whether he coming home in April or not. But when I find out I will be sure to let yall know whats up. Well Im leaving to go see him on saturday morning around 1:00am so I would know whats up and I will do another post saturday night when I come back. Ok? Hopefully they letting him come home in April for real.

Right now Im feeling so sick I keep runing back and fourth to the bathroom. OMG I cant take this. This morning I throw up. Just ughhh...I know TMI(too much info) lol well sorry. This morning I took lil man to school and back in my bed I went until it was time for me to pick him up. I dont like being sick and Im pretty sure nobody else does. Shit sucks. Hope I feel better tomorrow though. Its krazii cause I aint have my Tv on all I just turned it on when I came back from getting lil man. I aint wanna move today I just felt so lazy and weak.

Do yall remember back in a few posts I talked about a dude name *Jay*. Well guess what??...his ass texted me today. He said: *yo what up how u?* I started to say *my name aint fucking yo now beat it*,But I just replied *Im good* and than after that he aint text back. I hope he wasnt waiting for me to ask how he doing cause I honestly dont give two shits how he doing. Im mean I just cant help it. LoL.

Im hoping this month be as good as last month. Cause I had a ball last month. Well this month I proballii have a ball to cause Christmas Hoilday. I love that hoilday. Just seeing people face expressions when they open the gift I got them brightens up my day. Already did my Christmas shopping on tuesday. Hopefully I get some nice gifts on christmas.

Im still stuck in a deep gaze because before you know it its gonna be 2009. WOAH Time is really really really flying. Dam....

Well this it for this post cause im tired of typing now...Smooches!!