Okay I Guess

YEA I GUESS IM OKAY. JUST TRYNA STAY STRONG BUT ITS HARD. I CANT EVEN EXPLAN HOW I FEEL. MY MIND JUST ALL FUCKED UP.

MY BABII CUZZIN FUNERAL ON FRIDAY. I ALREADY KNOW IMMA TAKE IT REAL HARD. NOT CRYING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME AT FUNERALS NO MATTER HOW HARD I SQUEEZE MY EYES SO THE TEARS WONT COME OUT, THAT SHIT DOESNT WORK. ITS LIKE I LOST A BABII BUT IT WASNT MINE BUT I CAN FEEL THE PAIN THAT THE PARENTS ARE GOING THROUGH. ITS SO SAD. DAM I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. EVERYTHING SEEM SO FUCKED UP.

I WANTED TO HAVE A SPECIAL BOND WITH MY BABII CUZZIN . FOR REAL I WANTED TO BE THAT BIG CUZZIN WHERE HE CAN COME TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING I MEAN ANYTHING DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT IS. YES I WOULD OF BEEN THERE FOR HIM THROUGH EVERYTHING. BEEN ON HIS SIDE WHETHER HE WAS RIGHT OR WRONG. I WOULD OF HAD HIS BACK.

DAM I THOUGHT MY LIL MAN WAS GON REALLY HAVE SOMEBODY TO RUN AROUND WITH AND SHIT. YA KNOW DRIVE ME KRAZII. THEY COULD OF HAD SLEEP OVERS AND EVERYTHING. I WOULD OF TOOK MY BABII CUZZIN EVERYWHERE ME AND MY LIL MAN WENT. OMG THIS IS REALLY KILLING MY HEART LIKE DEAD ASS. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I LOVE KIDS THATS WHY THIS IS BREAKING MY HEART SO MUCH!!!!

WELL IMMA STOP HERE MAYBE POST ANTHER POST LATER OR W/E

Tears fall

Too me I think its okay to cry sometimes. When I cry I feel better afterwards. Speaking on the topic of "Crying" I was crying not to long ago for like a good hour. But we not gon get into why I was crying cause I was just going through a emotional moment thats all. If ya know what I mean? Where you just sit and think about shit than few minutes later tears are falling and you cant stop them. Yeah well that. Everybody has those moments right?? If not you will sooner or later. LoL. I cried so many times I lost count. Sometimes its sad that I cry so much, but I know deep down inside if I hold my tears in im only gon feel worst. Feel me? If you dont understand me just try to ok?

**This below is just something I wrote off the top of my head but its so true**

Its called "I Cried"........
I cried when I felt I was in a wolrd all alone
I cried when I had nothing
I cried when I thought I couldnt be strong
I cried when people I loved died
I cried when shit wasnt working out for me
I cried when my feelings got hurt
I cried when I made mistakes
I cried when I didnt know what to do
I cried when I thought it was the end of the world
I cried when people didnt understand me
I cried when I thought the bad dream I had was reality
I cried when my heart got broken
I cried when people walked out my life
I cried when I was really upset
I cried when I was stressed

*****DAM I JUST CRIED SO MUCH AND FOR REASONS TOO****

Are those stupid reasons to cry for??? Well to me they arent. Shit I told yall im emotional. Someday I should get over that stage of being emotional. I dont think I ever will though. Cause thats just me.

Shoot I dont hold my tears back for nobody. And when im crying and somebody comes to me and say "Toya dont cry its gonna be okay" That just makes me cry even harder. Sometimes I dont even wanna be hugged while crying. I like to cry alone. Feel me?

**You can be strong on the outside and always cry on the inside.**

Like some days I be so sad for plenty of reasons but I dont show it so instead I be strong and put on a smile on the outside when deep down inside im crying though. But that dont always work everytime im sad so sometimes I just let the tears come out and fall.

Well thats gonna be it for this blog cause im tired of talking about "crying"!

Let me know....
What was your reasons for all the times you cried?