Im brave

WARNING::AS I TYPE THIS I AM DRUNK SO PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISSPELLED WORDS OR WHATEVER....

Well I guess you can say imma little brave cause I decided to go trick or treating after all. I was sitting in the house all day even cried cause I was so dam scared. Everytime I turned around I was getting a IM(aim) saying how many girls got stabbed up and shit. OMG it was so scary. Than im saying to myself if I go outside its like im putting my life on the line. So Im like you know what fuck it cause I want some dam candy and I want my son to have a fun halloween and im not tryna stay in this house. But a hour before I left my house I wrote this poem...

Title:My Halloween Poem

Scared to go outside wit just my son alone
So scared that I believe my life just can end over some bullshit
Scared to think that everything will be just fine cause I know it wont
Not only am I scared of wat could happen to me im also scared of wat can happen to others
Scared to stop my heart from shaking and crying
Never been this scared before
Im so scared I dont think I can even be brave and go trick or treatin
This blood initiation shit really got me shook
They giving themselves gifts for there birthday 2day and it is to see "woman bleed to death and die"
I cant be nothing else other than be SCARED.
They taking people, Sisters, Mothers, Grandmothers, and shit.
How can I not be scared when they taking innocent people lives
Im so scared I just wanna pack my shit and move somewhere so far away but never know if I do that I just might not make it as far as I wanna go cause of this blood initiation shit
So I end this note with some tears and a question "why they gotta hurt innocent people"??


What yall think of that poem?? Everything I spoke on was how I felt. When im scared I will never play like im brave and hard and shit

Back to what I was saying....hmmmm oh yeah well me, my son and my annoying mother all went trick or treating. It was okay I guess saw alot of people dressed up and shit like that. I was still scared when I got outside. I kept looking around. Yup I was playing close attention to my surroundings cause I was out there where it wasnt safe. Shoot no where you go is safe. Its krazy people all over the world so you never know where they at.

That blood initiation aint no joke I cant believe how shook(scared) I was to go outside. I even carryed a little box cutter with me like that shit would of did something but it would of been worth a try if a niggah would of jumped in my face or some shit.. Well as we was walking down this street in BK called court street the cops were flying by with they lights on so I already knew something had went wrong so I kinda got more scared. After we was done going store to store for candy we just got on the bus and went on to my aunt house and chilled for a few hours.

HAHA now you know the reason to how im drunk now. LOL cause my aunt had ALIZE at her house knowing ALIZE is my bestfriend LoL. I would drink that before I drink anything else. Hmmm You know I couldnt resist but to have a few cups of ALIZE haahah and now im drunk. All good though. Wow and I know I said I wasnt gon drink nomore until my birthday(the 12th). DAM well shoot that ALIZE bottle was calling my name. It was saying "toya you know you want me" lol. And I couldnt even front.

Imma end this blog here cause im still drunk and I need to sleep this shit off.
W3rd im out...**SmOoCheS**

Halloween Oh No

First off I wanna say "Happy Halloween to everyone"

Today is not such a happy day for me. I didnt take my son to daycare because im too scared to even go outside because the BLOOD INITIATION. Yes im really scared. Even though this shit goes on every year and I was never scared before well shit I am now its 2008 shit change every year and plus they talking about it(blood initiation) on the news so I believe this shit is serious. Im not sure if imma take my son trick or treating today but if I do pray for me. For real. Im really shook. I was reading this webstie http://nyctheblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/violence-expected-in-east-harlem.html


Yes you should click on the website for yourself and see what im talking about if you dont already know. Trust me its not just a rumor, Its the truth. Its said that people who want to be initiated into the gang must each kill 31 women (women of all ages) in drive by shootings. You see that WOMAN? They only killing woman. Thats the sad part and im not tryna say they should kill men too but shoot they shouldnt be killing NOBODY!!!

Like come on these woman can be or are somebody's Grandmother, Granddaughter, Goddaughter, Daughter or sister etc. DAM MAN !!!!

Thats why im so scared and im not tryna put my life at risk by going outside for some dam candy. But maybe later I will feel different and change my mind cause I want my son to get some candy and have fun and shit.

What the fuck is the world coming to???
It feels like its coming to a dam end. Its all fucked up and turning in a direction in which it shouldnt turn to.

All this killing and shit needs to come to a end. Somebody need to stop these gangs for real. When Obama speak on the term CHANGE hopefully this will all stop righT??? or No because nobody is brave enough to stop them??

As I type this those gang bangers are proballii out there killing woman right now. Which is sad but like I said its truth especially if shit was on the news. They suppose to be doing it all day. I cant believe this shit. I dont know why they want to be so cold hearted just to be down or whatever. Yes im pretty much shook up about this shit. I wonder how they parents are gonna feel when they find out that they son or daughter have killed somebody. Yes there are some blood females. SHOOT I wonder how they feel about they son or daughter being in this dam GANG shit period. Its not hard to spot a BLOOD memeber out.

Well imma end this blog here cause I cant even think straight. So if I do decide to go outside or whatever I will be sure to look at my surroundings. Cause this shit is not a joke. Make sure to watch the news to see whats going on today in this cold ass world and google "blood initiation" and I hope you clicked on the link above.

im out...**Be Safe**