STRONG I AM

4/14/11

2011-04-18T14:21:00.000-04:00

SO ME AND MY SON HAD ON THE SAME COLORS AND WE WENT OUT AND ENJOYED THE LOVELY DAY THAT DAY :)

OH AND I LOST MY FAVORITE LIP GLOSS BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I GOT A NEW ONE NOW LOL!

HELLO WORLD

2011-04-18T14:11:00.000-04:00

WASSUP WORLD I'M STILL HERE BUT YOU BETTER OFF CATCHING ME TWITTER @DAHUNNITOYA !!!!

MY SON RECENTLY TURNED 4 YEARS OLD ON MARCH 24TH ...
AND I'M LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF BEING A MOTHER TO HIM

AND THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY FOR THIS POST ! LOL

UPDATE

2011-01-31T17:46:00.000-05:00

ALL IMMA SAY IS "LIFE IS ROUGH BUT I MANAGE"

LOL IS THIS SITE EVEN POPPING STILL?

WELL ANYWAYS FOLLOW ME ON http://toyacrazylife.tumblr.com/
OR TWITTER www.twitter.com/dahunnitoya

IM CRAZY

2010-09-25T11:37:00.000-04:00

Well I must admit I am crazy. That's only because push me to that level. But for some reason people always seem to call me crazy and they don't have a reason for it. Don't call me crazy if you don't have a reason for it. I'm just saying if you going to call somebody something you got to know why you calling them that. Don't just say stuff to say it.

Sometimes I get called crazy when I keep it real with people. Seriously how can I be crazy for keeping it real ? I don't understand. Like I said I am crazy but if some shit didn't happen I wouldn't have to get crazy, you feel me?

BEEN GOING THROUGH IT

2010-09-24T20:58:00.000-04:00

Who missed me? Shit I miss writing up here so I had to come back. For the last couple of months I been going through it. Too much that I don't even know where I should start shit I just might not end. Tears to drama EVERYTHING. Well I'm living good and still remain a great mother to Daqaun,a college student and the fiance to Christoper. I even had a job but that didn't work out but its kool something else will come right?

So where should I start telling what happen over the months. Summer was whack, sorry I only went to the beach once out of the whole summer because me and sand don't get a along feel me? . I colored my hair =). My son got bigger and he's a very smart lil man and I love him to death.

Now to the juicy part I guess

I wanna smack this one bitch cause of my friends , smh I know my friend be going back telling this bitch shit cause the bitch always got something smart to say in her facebook status about me and I know she talks my twitter too.But being the adult I am I keep my kool and let her say whatever she want long as the shit STAYS on her page and don't comes to mine cause my words can hurt people. Lol but I still wanna smack her.

Like every year I get a new reason to why I hate females, they fake and full of drama believe it or not. But its the truth.

and Why people think they perfect and better then others?
You know what I tell those people ? "you ain't perfect cause nobody is"
Then I hate the type of people that wanna talk down on you and shit. That's one thing I take serious don't talk down on me.

Oh yeah lets not talk about how the pregnant females this season think they better and got it all cause they have a baby on the way and half of them on they second baby and they be the main ones talking down on others. They need to STOP IT NOW. Having your second child and you don't have YOUR OWN EVERYTHING(meaning you ain't living on your own) does not mean you grown. GET YOUR OWN then your grown! Yup I have my ONE son who's 3 and I'm working on getting my own everything so that's why I will remain with only him until then, I know better. I mean if you ain't down talking others as if you perfect then its okay if you on your second child but don't think your shit don't stink sweetie. I'm just keeping it real that's all bloggers cause I be hearing the way these females be talking and I be like "i could of sworn she lived with her parents but yet talking down on others". Sorry I don't think its kool at all.

Oh yeah whats with this question "Toya why you don't get welfare? I got it"......like what the fuck don't ask me no shit like that but I will answer it. And my answer is because #1 they too dam nosey #2 it ain't my style #3 I rather go and find me a job #4 they make you go through mad stuff to get a job with their help & soon as you get thejob they cut you off #5 its useless to me.

What else should I talk about?

My son daycare closed down (thankx to the mayor) so he on the waiting list for another one. But in March he will be turning 4 and will be starting Pre-K . Yup my baby is growing up. It amazing how fast he grown up. I miss when he was a baby !

Well I guess this is it for this blog cause im tired of typing ! lol until next time DUCES!

A POEM

2010-04-27T10:12:00.000-04:00

The sky is blue, The clouds is crying, The man above is calling a name, He's trying to take away their pain, He need them near, Distance between them is making it hard for him to cure the pain, He sees the pain is getting worst day by day, He will soon have another helper with him.

-Written by Me =)

FOR THE SINGLE MOTHERS

2010-04-20T22:23:00.000-04:00

(1st off excuse my langauge as I express myself here) As I was walking home "Baby Mama" was playing on my ipod & thoughts flowed thru my mind. I'm the best mother ever & can't nobody tell me nothing. For 3 years I had this shit down packed and I'm doing good. Don't yall agree? I mean my son father did for him like 30% since he was born but that dnt even matter cuz the problem is that he dont come around like he suppose too. Hopefully all that change. "A man has to be a man on his own" & if he wanna bullshit then he should know he missing out. To all the mothers that's going thru what I'm going thru don't even sweat it cuz this aint killing us its making us stronger. Its hard for me not to kry as I express myself but hey it is what it is right?. Aint gon front I'm tired of my son father shit but he his own person and if that mean he aint NEVER gon do what he suppose then that's on him, he will learn tho. NO MATTER what imma always be my son mother & father anyways. He got everything he want & need. So again MOTHERS keep doing what you doing cuz your doing great. & to the MOTHERS that aint letting these FATHERS see their child cuz they don't wanna be with you or you just stupid, stop that shit right now cuz it aint kool. I love my son & I will give him my last. Even though I always wonder "How can a boy be a man when he only getting fed from a woman hand" I got it now cause I know with my heart my son will be a good man.

My heart

2010-04-20T10:44:00.000-04:00

He's a very smart and handsome little boy, yessssirr thats my 3 year old baby boy and I love him so much!

HE'S 3 NOW!

2010-03-27T14:51:00.000-04:00

Yes on March 24th , my baby turned the big 3 and I still can't believe it. Time flying by like its being chased it. Man I wish time can slow down but that will never happened. I could of sworn I just had him yesterday. This is amazing. He's a very handsome and smart 3 year old boy. I love him with no limit to that.

MARCH UPDATE

2010-03-11T00:44:00.001-05:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY YES IM STILL HERE AND NOT GOING ANYWHERE ......

WELL MY SON WILL BE TURNING THE BIG 3 THIS MONTH ON THE 24TH , I MIGHT KRY LOL. IF YOU AINT KNOW HE'S A BAD ASS LOL..AINT ALL BOYS BAD? BETTER YET ALL KIDS IS BAD ! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S TURNING 3 ALREADY WHEN IT FELT LIKE I JUST HAD HIM YESTERDAY. BUT NO I REALLY HAD HIM 3 YEARS GO WOW! I MEAN TIME IS REALLY SLIPPING AWAY AND DOESNT WAIT FOR ANYBODY.

I LOVE MY SON DAQUAN AND IM SO HAPPY HE'S IN MY LIFE. WITHOUT HIM I WOULDN'T BE MYSELF. THERE IS NO LIMIT TO HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS KID. I KNOW WITH MY HEART HE LOVES ME MORE THEN ANYBODY ELSE DOES.

WE WAS AT A BDAY PARTY AND MY HOMEGIRL TOOK THIS PIC AND HE AINT EVEN KNOW...LIKE EWWWWW!!

DO HE LOOK OLDER THEN 3?

BGC

2010-02-23T11:34:00.000-05:00

Who watches Bad Girls Club every Tuesday at 10pm? I do! Those girls be bugging out.

Annie- I still don't know why she on the show lol, she always hiding some where.

Portia- She need to come back on the show.

Kendra- She just too much for her own good, she be off the hook.

Flo- I think she likes Kendra and she be thinking she the MOTHER.

Kate- She's just KATE, I guess

Amber- Why did she find her boyfriend at? LoL.

Natalie- She likes attention and everything must be about her.

All these females gon end up fighting each other so I don't even know why they try to be kool with one another!

TWITTER

2010-02-15T20:09:00.000-05:00

WHY IS IT SO ADDICTIVE?

I TWEETED 51,198 TIMES ALREADY, IM TOO ADDICTED LOL!
THINK I NEED REHAB! =(

FOLLOW ME

Feb 1st

2010-02-01T15:07:00.000-05:00

All the shit I go through I would of thought I could be up to like my 300th post by now but I'm not. Yeah sometimes I just can't seem to put my thoughts down in a post. My mind be going crazy. It be all over the place. Well its MONDAY and this day seems like the slowest day in the week. I guess cause its the beginning of the week right? Well hope this week goes by cause I mostly like FRIDAY better than any other days.

Who saw the Grammy's last night? I did!

Beyonce- She already know she the shit & I loved her performance
Mary J Blige - She the truth!
Lady Gaga- Weirdo and she scares me lol. But thats good she got her VERY OWN style. Never saw anybody dress the way she does!
Wayne- When he gon cut his dreads? & He needed to get rid of the flag out his pocket!
Drake- He remind me of a teddy bear lol I don't know why though
Taylor Swift- .......really don't know what to say about cause I never listened to her music and I just started knowing who she was cause of Kanye West!
Rihanna - Why was her face like that during the MJ Tribute?
Eminem - He raps so fast!
Usher- Voice still the same !
MJ Tribute - Was very nice, it should of been longer though & I wish I had some 3D glasses though =( !
Pink - I forgot about her & her performance was good too.
Jay Z- I love his walk!

This is until next post!

Happy New Years !

2010-01-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy its a New Year as yall can see. Aint nothing really changed me, Im still me and thats all I can be. Hopefully this year be a good year. Cause 2009 wasnt good at all. Lost loved ones (Rest In Peace to them). I really wished they could of made it to this year and so on. Life really is short and its nothing nobody can do about it.

Sooooooo what yall got planned for this year? .

< ------Wait what yall think of this pic?

Well im currently back in College been going since November. Yes I like it And imma finish it. Not letting anything get in my way at all ! All I need is another Job. The one I had was Trash! Who wants to work once a week? not me!!!

Hmm Really dont have much to say in this post, lol Oh I got a Blackberry now , its kool for now (I miss my sk tho). lol !

The year almost over!

2009-12-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

THE YEAR IS ALMOST OVER, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I CANT. TIME JUST GO BY TO DAM FAST FOR ME. ANYBODY ENJOYED THEIR CHRISTMAS? I ENJOYED MINES. WHO'S READY FOR THE NEW YEAR? I AM. 2009 WAS LIKE A KRAZII YEAR FOR SOME PEOPLE. MAD PEOPLE DIED & STUFF LIKE THAT. JUST SAD. HOPE NEXT YEAR IS A GREAT YEAR!

Still Standing

2009-12-17T11:03:00.001-05:00

Its been a good minute since I wrote a post. Well im doing pretty good & just basically living my life to the fullest. I attend PBC (Professional Business College). Yeah im doing the school thing =) . Everybody needs a education. I done gave up on alot but I always seem to get right back to on track no matter how long it takes me to. Imma do it!. Nothing can get in my way this time & when I say NOTHING I mean it. Im following my dreams!

What have yall been up to?

Wanna hear this lil rap I wrote or w/e you wanna call it? (NO I DONT WANNA BE A RAPPER)

okay here it go.................

These streets of New York is so cold
I be dam if I let anyody fold
I cant be told to do anything
My mind is on point, I dont need no joint
I walk down the street, they say Toya do you think you sweet
I say naw but would you like a treat, you might get weak....................

Lol. Yea thats it. That came off the top of my head! I was just bored thats all.
but what do you HONESTLY think of it?

"I can be anything I put my mind to"

SEX JOKE

2009-11-21T14:08:00.002-05:00

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wif...e on the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room.
As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, ‘Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you.’
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: ‘Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too.’

LMFAO NOW THATS FUNNI!

21 AND LOVING IT

2009-11-16T01:01:00.000-05:00

YES ON THRUSDAY(THE 12TH) I FINALLY TURNED 21. HOW DOES IT FEEL? GREAT! I HAD THE BEST TIME FROM WEDNESDAY TIL SUNDAY!(YES I BEEN CELBRATING SINCE WEDNESDAY) NOW THE CELEBRATION OVER LOL....

OLD

2009-11-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

NEXT WEEK THRUSDAY (NOV 12TH) I WILL BE THE BIG 21. THATS KRAZII LOL. IM REALLY GETTING OLD. WOW I COULD OF SWORN YESTERDAY I WAS A TEEN. YES TIME SURE DOES FLY BY LIKE A SPEEDING BULLET. CANT BELIEVE IT. TIME WAITS FOR NOBODY. I DONT KNOW HOW IMMA FEEL WHEN I TURN 21 BUT I DO KNOW IMMA MAKE THAT THE BEST DAY.

WELL I BEEN ON MY GROWN WOMAN ISH AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I DO. FEEL ME? NOT LETTING NOBODY BRING ME DOWN!

ANYWAYS HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

DONT PLAY WITH LIFE

2009-10-25T19:05:00.000-04:00

LIFE SHOULDNT BE PLAYED WITH AT ALL.

EARLY TODAY MY BABYFATHER GOT SHOT AND IM STILL IN SHOCK HAPPY HE'S STILL ALIVE THOUGH. AFTER EVERYTHING WE BEEN THROUGH I STILL GOT LOVE FOR HIM AND I WOULD OF BEEN REALLY CRUSHED IF HE AINT MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE BULLETS NOT ONLY ME BUT QUAN WOULD OF ALSO BEEN CRUSHED.

BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT HE GOT SHOT, I WAS IN SHOCK AND TEARS WAS FOLOWING. MY HEART WAS BEATING TRIPLE FAST. HONESTLY I WAS SCARED! SHIT IM STILL IN SHOCK.

GOD IS GOOD AND IM THANKFUL HE'S STILL ALIVE!

LIVING LOVELY

2009-10-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

WHEN THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A PICTURE OF ME UP HERE? LOL YESSSSIR THATS ME AND IM LIVING LOVELY EVEN THOUGH IM KINDA STRESSING BUT I KNOW WITH MY HEART EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. YEAH GOING THROUGH HARD TIME AND STRUGGLES . WELL YEAH THATS PART OF LIFE SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUCK IT UP, BECAUSE WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?. NOTHING AT ALL. EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE IS FOR A REASON.

IM LOVING MY SON MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD AND IM BEING THE BEST MOTHER I CAN BE AND IM DOING A GREAT JOB AT IT. SO GREAT THAT MY SON CALLS ME MOMMY & DADDY!. YUP IM BOTH AND HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT. I BEEN HAVING THIS DOWN PACK SINCE 3/24/07. HIS FATHER IS ONLY A FATHER WHEN HE WANNA BE , HE LETTING THE STREETS TAKE CONTROL OF HIM. BUT WE NOT GON GET INTO THAT.

ANYWAYS LIKE I SAID IM LIVING LOVELY AND SO IS MY LIL MAN !

VERY AGGRAVATED

2009-10-19T22:14:00.000-04:00

SO I GET ANNOYED AND AGGRAVATED WITH PEOPLE VERY FAST. AM IM THE ONLY ONE THATS LIKE THAT? IDK WHY I GET SO ANNOYED AND AGGRAVATED WITH PEOPLE SO FAST. MAYBE CAUSE THE ~~SHIT~~ THEY DO TO PISS ME THE ~~FUCK~~ OFF. SOME PEOPLE JUST REALLY GET UNDER MY SKIN.

IM STARTING NOT TO BELIEVE IN MY SON'S GODPARENTS ANYMORE. THEY NOT FAITHFUL TO THAT WORD. ~~SHIT~~ I DONT EVEN BELIEVE IN MY GODMOTHER. ITS JUST THE WAY PEOPLE CARRY THEYSELF FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY.

EVERYBODY AROUND CHANGING UP ON ME. THATS NOTHING NEW THOUGH. LOL IM GETTING USE TO IT. I STARTED TO DELETE MY TWITTER, MYSPACE AND FACEBOOK TODAY, THATS HOW I ANNOYED I GOT BUT INSTEAD I DECIDE TO PUT MY THOUGHTS HERE AND I FEEL BETTER..

BUT WHY THE ~~FUCK~~ PEOPLE GOTTA BE SO ANNOYING AND DO STUPID ~~SHIT~~ TO PISS ME THE ~~HELL~~ OFF? DO THEY HAVE FUN DOING IT? I GUESS SO IDK!

IMMA END THIS HERE!

THOUGHTS FOR THE NIGHT

2009-10-07T01:24:00.001-04:00

I HAVE ALOT OF THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW BUT MY MAIN ONE IS. I WANNA WRITE A BOOK. NOT REALLY SURE OF THE TITLE, BUT I WANNA SPEAK ON RELATIONSHIPS AND TELL PEOPLE WHAT I EXPERIENCED IN THEM . YALL GET THE POINT RIGHT? OR MAYBE NOT? WELL LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR. I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS AND MAKE SURE PEOPLE LEARN ALOT FROM THEM.

ANY IDEAS OF WHAT THE TITLE SHOULD BE? CUZ I WAS THINKING "DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS" . HOW DOES THAT SOUND FOR A TITLE?

R.I.P AJ

2009-10-05T01:43:00.000-04:00

R.I.P TO AJ (KANDI BURRUSS FIANCE)

THIS IS A SAD WORLD. I DONT EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. BUT MY HEART AND PRAYERS GOES OUT TO KANDI, HIS CHILDREN AND FAMILY. LIFE IS JUST SO SHORT. YOU NEVER GET A WARNING SIGN OR NOTHING ABOUT WHEN YOU LEAVING THIS EARTH. VIOLENCE----IT REALLY HAVE TO COME TO A STOP. SERIOUSLY. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIED DUE TO FIGHTS/SHOOTING. ITS JUST FUCKED UP! WHY FIGHT? WHEN EVERYBODY CAN JUST COME TOGETHER AS ONE! I DONT UNDERSTAND. LIKE I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HIS KIDS, THEY DONT HAVE A FATHER ANYMORE AND I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS THAT SHIT HURTS LIKE HELL. I ALSO FEEL SORRY FOR KANDI. ITS TOO SAD! WHEN I READ HER BLOG SHE WROTE SPEAKIN ON HIS DEATH AND HER UNCLE'S DEATH REALLY BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES. ITS KRAZII CAUSE YOU CAN BE WITH A PERSON ONE MINUTE THAN THE NEXT MINUTE THEY CAN BE DEAD. THATS WHY I CANT STAY MAD AT A PERSON FOR SO LONG BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THAT PERSON GON BE SWIPED OFF THIS OFF. A PERSON CAN BE GON AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. SO MANY PEOPLE DIED THIS YEAR, ITS KRAZII AND SAD! LIKE WHATS GOING ON? IS THIS WORLD COMING TO A COMPLETE END? I NEED TO KNOW. I TRY TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN IN MY LIFE CAUSE TIME DONT WAIT FOR NOBODY AT ALL. TRUE? IM ALWAYS HEARING ABOUT PEOPLE DYING. MAN THIS IS SAD!.

UPDATE

2009-10-01T17:55:00.000-04:00

WELL AS YALL KNOW ITS OCT 1ST, DAM TIME IS TOO FAST FOR ME. DONT REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO BLOG ABOUT. JUST HERE TO LET YALL KNOW IM STILL HERE (ME AND QUAN GOOD)...............LOL....OH AND MY 21ST BDAY NEXT MONTH!

I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF(MADEA)

2009-09-16T09:42:00.004-04:00

THAT MOVIE WAS THE BEST EVER. HAD ME KRYING AND SHIT. GOT IN SOME DEEP THOUGHTS AND ALL THAT. LMFAO MADEA WILD KRAZII THO AND SO IS JOE.

ALOT OF PEOPLE CAN LEARN FROM THAT MOVIE

IM SAYING IF A BITCH OR NIGGAH BRINGING YOU DOWN AND YOU KNOW BEING IN THAT RELATIONSHIP JUST AINT RIGHT BUT YOU JUST WANNA BE STUPID. JUST KEEP IN MIND "YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOURSLEF".

SOME FEMALES THINK HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEBODY ELSE'S HUSBAND IS KOOL, WELL ITS NOT BECAUSE HE'S NOT ONLY FUCKING HIS WIFE , HE FUCKING YOU TOO. SO WHAT IF HE PAYING YOUR BILLS. THAT DONT MEAN HE GETS TO HAVE HIS FUCKING CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. IT JUST AINT RIGHT.

& SOME MALES OUT HERE THINK HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEBODY ELSE'S WIFE IS KOOL ALSO. WELL ITS NOT BECAUSE (LIKE I SAID ABOUT FEMALES) . NOT ONLY IS SHE FUCKING YOU BUT SHE FUCKING HER HUSBAND ALSO. SHE CANT HAVE HER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

ALL THE DISEASES GOING AROUND I DONT KNOW WHY SOME PEOPLE FUCK OTHER PEOPLE WIVIES/HUSBANDS. SHIT NOT KUTE AT ALL!

VMA

2009-09-14T09:51:00.003-04:00

OKAY REALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO START ABOUT WHAT I SAW ON TV LAST NIGHT.

FIRST OFF...........KANYE OH LAWD!
PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNI THAT HE SNATCHED THE MIC OUT OF TAYLOR SWIFT HAND AND SAY WHAT HE HAD TO SAY. HE HAD TO BE DRUNK OR SOMETHING. IT WAS KINDA FUNNI THAN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. IT WAS DISRESPECTFUL . REALLY IT WAS. HE DIDNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT. YEA HE REAL BOLD!

LADY GAGA-----SERIOUSLY SHE'S REALLY DIFFERENT AND KINDA SCARY AND WEIRD TO ME.

PINK-----WHY DID SHE HAVE A HEART ON HER NIPPLE? AND SHE WAS HANG FROM WHAT? SMH LOOK LIKE THAT SHIT YOU SEE IN THE CIRCUS.

BEYONCE----HER PERFORMANCE WAS NICE AND IT WAS SWEET OF HER TO LET TAYLOR TO FINISH HER SPEECH.

TAYLOR SWIFT-------A PERFORMANCE IN A TRAIN STATION WHY? LOL AND THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME ME HEARING THAT SONG AND I LIKE THE BEAT. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SONG SHE SANG? I FORGOT

BRITNEY SPEARS------HONESTLY I DIDNT KNOW SHE STILL SING. LOL AND WHAT KIND OF DANCE WAS SHE DOING? PLZ TELL ME!

KID CUDI-----4 WORDS "HE CAN GET IT". HE IS HELLA SEXY!

P.DIDDY------HMMMMMM NO WORDS REALLY

MJ TRIBUTE-----MADE ME TEARY EYE

MUSE-------SERIOUSLY WHO ARE THEY? NEVER HEARD!

JAY-Z AND ALICA KEYS------JAY WALKS WITH MAD SWAGG AND I LIKE IT. LOVED THE PERFORMANCE EVEN THOUGH JAY WAS LATE, I LIKE THAT SONG. ALICA WAS WORKING THEM SHOES TOO (PRETTY WERENT THEY?). BUT WAT A MINUTE WHERE THE HELL DID LIL MAMA COME FROM????? SHE WAS DEAD ASS WITH NO MIC, SO WHY SHE EVEN GO ON THE STAGE? SHE LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING ASSHEAD 4REAL. LOL SHE PROBABLY WAS SIPPING ON WHATEVER KANYE WAS SIPPING ON.

WELL THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY!

DEEP

2009-09-13T13:16:00.003-04:00

NO MATTER HOW HAPPY I AM, I CAN NEVER BE HAPPY FOR TOO LONG. ITS JUST MY LIFE. I WOULDNT WANT ANYBODY TO FEEL HOW I FEEL SOMEDAYS. ITS TIME WHERE I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. SO I START SAYING KRAZII SHIT LIKE IMMA JUMP IN FRONT OF A CAR (BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE I WOULDNT DO NOTHING LIKE THAT). THATS JUST THE WAY I BE FEELING. THE SHIT I GO THROUGH IS HARD TO EXPLAIN. IT DONT MAKE ANY SENSE. ME AND MY MOM ARGUE EVERYDAY AND SHE ALWAYS STARTS THE ARGUMENTS. GUESS WE NEVER GON GET ALONG AND WHEN I MOVE I DONT THINK I WANNA COME BACK TO VISIT HER. SEE IM NOT A MOMMY'S GIRL IN MY EYES, I WAS ALWAYS A DADDY'S GIRL AND WHEN MY DADDY DIED IN 2004 THAT WAS THE END OF THAT. IM AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I JUST WANNA BE STRESS FREE FOREVER. ITS LIKE ONE DAY IM STRESSED AND THE NEXT IM NOT. WHY IS THAT? I SAY MEAN SHIT TO MY MOM CAUSE SHE PISSES ME OFF. LIKE SHE DONT UNDERSTAND SHIT. I DONT THINK ANY PARENTS UNDERSTAND THEIR CHILD.

IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS IMMA BE 21 AND I THINK IMMA STILL BE GOING THRU THE SAMETHING. SOMETIMES I THINK MY CAUSE OF DEATH IS GONNA BE STRESS CAUSE IT BE THAT BAD. IM SITTING HERE KRYING AS I TYPE THIS, UGH MY CHEST IS HURTING AND SHIT. IF I GO INTO MORE DETAILS ON HOW I FEEL. YALL PROBABLY STILL WOULDNT UNDERSTAND. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. YOU GOTTA WALK IN MY SHOES AND FEEL HOW I FEEL THAN YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND ME. MY LIFE AINT PERFECT AND I DONT WANT NOBODY TO THINK IT IS. JUST CAUSE I GET THIS AND THAT OR WHATEVER DOESNT MEAN IM PERFECT. I CRY MOSTLY ALL THE TIME. JUST CAUSE I BE HAPPY DOESNT MEAN I CANT BE SAD ON THE INSIDE. SOMETIMES I WONDER WAS I REALLY MEANT TO BE BORN?, WAS I JUST A MISTAKE? I KNOW I SHOULDNT FEEL LIKE THAT BUT I CANT CONTROL HOW I FEEL.

IMMA END THIS POST HERE CAUSE TEARS COMING HEAVY!

FRANKIE & NEFFE

2009-08-25T23:43:00.004-04:00

I KNEW SOME DAY THEY WOULD GET THEY OWN SHOW. EVERYBODY SEEMS TO HAVE THEIR OWN VIEWS ABOUT THE SHOW. SOME NEGATIVE AND SOME POSTIVE.

NOBODY SEEMS TO WANNA RESPECT FRANKIE BECAUSE SHE WAS A KRACK HEAD. BUT THATS NOT RIGHT. YOU CANT KEEP HOLDING THE PAST AGANIST A PERSON. LIFE TOO SHORT FOR THAT. I

THIS A ALRIGHT SHOW(KINDA EMOTIONAL BUT I LIKE IT). I FEEL THAT THEY ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES THAT GO THRU WAT THEY GO THRU AND THATS PROBABLY WHY THEY MADE IT A REALITY TV SHOW. BELIEVE IT OR NOT ALOT OF PEOPLE CAN LEARN ALOT FROM THIS SHOW.

BEING THAT NEFFE IS FRANKIE'S FIRST BORN, THEY ARE NOT GONNA AGREE ON EVERYTHING. YOU CAN SEE THAT THEY LOVE EACH ALOT THO. AS MUCH AS NEFFE BE YELLING AT HER MOM (FRANKIE) DEEP DOWN INSIDE SHE DOESNT MEAN IT. SHE JUST WANTS FRANKIE TO FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW SHE FEEL. SHE ONLY WANTS THE BEST FOR FRANKIE AND WILL PROTECT HER IN EVERYWAY SHE CAN.

PEOPLE SAY FRANKIE THIS AND SHE THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS A KRACK HEAD. BUT DO THEY REALLY KNOW WHAT TURNED FRANKIE TO DRUGS? PROBABLY NOT. PEOPLE GO THRU SHIT IN LIFE AND SOMETIMES THEY MIND BE ALL FUCKED UP AND THEY JUST SAY FUCK IT, THEY DONT CARE.

FRANKIE IS STILL STRUGGLING AND ITS GONNA TAKE A WHILE FOR HER TO FULLY FORGIVE HERSELF. I BET IF SHE CAN DO HER LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN THAT SHE WOULD MAKE IT RIGHT.

PEOPLE SAY B.E.T HAS FAILED BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW, BUT IT HASNT. I JUST THINK ITS CHANGING UP THE STYLE. I MEAN LIKE IF YOU DONT LIKE THE SHOW WHY EVEN WATCH IT AND TALK ABOUT IT?. YOU MUST LIKE IT IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT.

"ALWAYS REMEMBER NOBODY'S PERFECT"

PEOM FROM THE HEART

2009-08-24T20:44:00.001-04:00

THIS POEM IS TITLED-NOT A WORLD AND YES ITS WRITTEN BY ME. I ONLY WRITE POEMS WHEN IM IN THE MOOD TOO AND WHEN MY MIND ISNT BLANK. KNO WAT I MEAN?

TREES NOT BREATHING
PLANTS NOT GROWING
WIND NOT BLOWING
THERE IS NO WATER
TRAINS NOT MOVING
PEOPLE NOT MOVING
KIDS NOT RUNNING AROUND
BUSES NOT MOVING
LIGHTS NOT ON
NO FOOD
A WORLD FULL OF NOTHING

SO0O WAT YALL THOUGHT OF THAT POEM?

JUST WHY

2009-08-22T23:11:00.003-04:00

ITS A REASON TO EVERYTHING RIGHT? SO WHY NOT ASK WHY? UNDERSTAND ME.

SO0O0O0O

WHY MUST PEOPLE GET ON OTHER PEOPLE NEVERS?
WHY DO PEOPLE ACT BRAND NEW WHEN THEY GET A BF/GF?
WHY DO PEOPLE LIE OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THEY ARE LYING?
WHY DO PEOPLE DO STUPID SHIT?
WHY IS EVERYBODY GETTING BLACKBERRYS?
WHY TWITTER ONLY LET YOU TYPE 140 CHARACTERS?
WHY WHEN PEOPLE GET FAMOUS THEY ACT LIKE THEY WERE NEVER UNFAMOUS?
WHY DID CASSIE AND SOLANGE KUT THEY DAM HAIR LIKE THAT?
WHY THERE DONT BE NOTHING REALLY GOOD ON TV TO WATCH ON SATURDAYS?
WHY IS MYSPACE SO WHACK NOW WHEN IT USE TO BE POPPING?
WHY YOU CANT TRUST PEOPLE NOW A DAYS?
WHY WHEN YOU GO FOR A JOB INTERVIEW THEY ALWAYS SAY "I WILL CALL YOU" BUT NEVER CALL?
WHY SO MANY PEOPLE LEAVING THIS EARTH?
WHY MUSIC AINT LIKE IT USE TO BE ?
WHY ARE SOME INNOCENT PEOPLE IN PRISON?
WHY COPS ALWAYS ROLLING UP ON SOMEBODY WHEN THE PERSON NOT EVEN DOING NOTHING?
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE HOMELESS?
WHY THIS WORLD SO DAM COLD?
WHY LIL WAYNE GOT ALL THESE BABYMOTHERS FOR?
WHY THEY DIDNT MAKE A PART TWO TO THE MOVIES ATL AND UNINVITED GUEST?
WHY DOES TINY FACE LOOK THE WAY IT DOES?
WHY T-MOBILE SERVICE ALWAYS ACTING UP?

JUST WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELL ITS MORE "WHY'S" BUT THATS ALL FOR NOW. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT WONDER "WHY"?? LOL PROBABLY. GUESS IM A LIL WEIRD OR MAYBE NOT.

DONT KNOW

2009-08-13T23:01:00.003-04:00

SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE AT THIS TIME BUT I WILL ALWAYS STAND STRONG.
I KNOW I SAID I WILL POST MORE. BUT HONESTLY I JUST CANT DO IT. (LOL) MY MIND JUST BE GOING KRAZII. I CAN SAY ALOT OF SHIT IN THIS POST YALL PROBABLY BE LIKE "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW"..BUT I WONT DO THAT. ITS JUST TOO MUCH. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF YALL STILL READ MY POST..

ITS LIKE ONE MINUTE IM HAPPY AND THAN THE NEXT IM FUCKING MAD AS HELL. SHIT I BE HAVING EMOTIONAL BRAKE DOWNS AND SHIT. ITS JUST UGHHHHHHH! BUT DONT WORRY IM KOOL. OH & STILL HOLDING MY MAN DOWN(THEY NEED TO FREE HIM 4REAL)

IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS(NOVEMBER 12TH) I WILL BE THE BIG 21. I CANT BELIEVE IT. AM I GETTING OLD? YEA I CAN FEEL IT. LOL

I DONT EVEN BE READING PEOPLE BLOGS OR MAYBE SOMETIMES I DO.
WELL YALL CAN JUST HIT ME UP ON TWITTER, AIM ETC.

CONTROLLING ASS MEN

2009-07-15T14:44:00.005-04:00

I CANT STAND CONTROLLING ASS MEN. NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!
SO LAST NIGHT I WATCHED TINY AND TOYA SHOW. I LOVE THE SHOW ALREADY. ANYTEEWAYS THEY MADE IT SEEM LIKE T.I IS CONTROLLING AS HELL. LIKE REALLY IS HE THAT CONTROLLING??? EWWW DONT NOBODY WANT TINY. 4REAL. IF YOU WATCHED LAST NIGHT SHOW THAN YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. SHE DEAD ASS DIDNT GO TO THE CLUB WITH TOYA AND THE REST OF THE GIRLS CAUSE OF T.I. OH PLZ HE AINT HER DADDY. WHAT SHE NOT SUPPOSE TO HAVE A LIFE OR SOME SHIT?????. WELLI I HOPE SHE AINT SITTING IN THE HOUSE DOING NOTHING WHILE HE BEHIND BARS CAUSE THAT SHIT AINT KOOL.

SHIT THAT COULDNT BE ME. A NIGGAH WOULD JUST BE MAD AT ME AND HAVE TO GET OVER IT CAUSE AINT NO NIGGA GON TELL ME WHERE I CANT GO OR WHAT I CANT DO. I DONT CARE IF WE ENGAGED OR MARRIED. IMMA DO WHAT I WANT. MEANING IF I WANNA HAVE FUCKING FUN AND A NIGGAH DONT WANT ME TO THAN HE CAN KISS MY ASS CAUSE IMMA HAVE MY FUN. FEEL ME?

NOW IF I WANNA GO OUTSIDE NAKED THAN THATS WHEN A NIGGAH SHOULD SAY "BABY NO DONT DO THAT". LOL

GET WHAT IM SAYIN RIGHT?

SOME FEMALES IN THIS WORLD LET NIGGAHS WALK ALL OVER THEM AND LET THEM BOSS THEM AROUND. UGHH IT KILLS ME. LIKE IF A NGGAH DONT WANT YOU GOING NOWHERE OR DOING POSTIVE STUFF AND SHIT. THAN HE MUST DONT TRUST YOUR ASS AND THATS WHEN FEMALES SHOULD STAND UP FOR THEY SELF AND LET IT BE KNOWN WHAT IT IS .

YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING?

DONT GIVE A NIGGAH ALL YOUR POWER CAUSE IF YOU DO THAT THAN THEY KNOW THEY GOT YOU EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT YOU TO BE "ON LOCKDOWN".

YEAH AS YOU CAN SEE I REALLY DONT LIKE CONTROLLING ASS MEN!!!!

PS.
YALL THAT READ MY BLOG PROBABLY WONDERING WHATS UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND CHRIS RIGHT? WELL HE'S STILL IN THAT PIECE OF SHIT THEY LIKE TO CALL "PRISON" AND SHOULD BE HOME IN TWO YEARS. YEA SAD RIGHT? . WELL MAYBE I WILL TALK ABT HIM IN A ANOTHER POST. THIS IT FOR THIS POST!!!

WINGATE

2009-07-14T11:25:00.005-04:00

WORDS CANT EXPLAIN HOW BAD I REALLY WANTED TO SEE KEYSHIA COLE YESTERDAY AT WINGATE BUT OH WELL I'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE HER ANOTHER TIME. PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT WHEN A FAMOUS PERSON COMES TO BROOKLYN. YES I WENT TO WINGATE YESTERDAY BUT SOON AS PEOPLE STARTED ACTING UP THEY STOP LET PEOPLE . ALEAST I SAW HER WHEN SHE WAS IN THE VAN LOL.

FIGHTS ON THE LINE AND SHIT. PEOPLE RUNNING FROM THE COPS ON HORSES.. UGHHHHH JUST KRAZII AND SOMEBODY GOT HURT. OMG I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE CANT ACT LIKE THEY HAVE SOME TYPE OF SENSE. I KNOW THEY PARENTS PROBABLY TAUGHT THEM SOMETHING OR MAYBE NOT IDK. BUT TO ACT LIKE A ASSHEADS IN PUBLIC PLACES IS NOT CALLED FOR.

POOR KEYSHIA COLE WHO HAD TO SEE PEOPLE ACT LIKE FUCKING ANIMALS OVER HER. WOW IS ALL I CAN SAY!

Drake

2009-07-02T09:44:00.003-04:00

Omg this video really sucked to me like on some real shit!
The Video really doesnt match the song. Im not really a fan of drake fan either.
I just like the song and I think it should of had a better video to it. SERIOUSLY cause this shit here I dont even know and dam sure dont understand what does it have to do with the song.

what do yall think of the video?

R.I.P MJ

2009-07-01T19:12:00.004-04:00

I know its so0o hard to believe that he's really gone. Dam its krazii how everbody just dying. Its so0o0 sad. He was the best. Dont wanna say much than I start krying. I remember when I use to always listen to "U rock my world" when I was younger thats my jam right there.

I wanna send my Condolenses to the family and friends of Micheal Jackson. I know its hurts cause it hurts me.

We as the fans, friends, family have to stay strong and know he's in god hands so0 he's okay.

R.I.P MJ (You are truly missed and loved)

DADDY DAY

2009-06-21T22:31:00.003-04:00

HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS AND ALSO HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL THE SINGLE MOTHERS WHO'S BEING A MOMMY AND DADDY TO THEIR CHILD.

MOST OF ALL HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO MY DADDY (R.I.P)

WISH HE CAN STILL BE HERE WITH ME..OMG!
I LOVE AND MISS HIM LIKE KRAZIII!!!

ITS REALLY HARD BEING A DADDY'S GIRL WHEN YOUR DADDY'S GONE

WISH HIM A HAPPY B-DAY

2009-06-16T12:38:00.003-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TUPAC AMARU SHAKUR "2PAC" (R.I.P)

I STILL DONT BELIEVE HE'S DEAD!!!!

Never Left

2009-06-15T13:27:00.003-04:00

YES I KNOW MY LIL MAN GETTING BIG....UGHH I MISS WHEN HE WAS A NEW BORN

BUT THEY CANT STAY BABIES FOREVER FEEL ME....

YEA THATS ME. STILL THE SAME!! NEVER LEFT YALL. SORRY I HAVENT BEEN BLOGGING IN A WHILE JUST DONT HAVE NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT AND MY EVERYDAY LIFE KINDA BORING. BUT I WILL TRY TO BLOG EVERYDAY...I SAID try LOL...

ANYWAYS I BEEN READING SOME OF YALL BLOGS. VERY INTERESTING! MAY HAVE COMMENTED SOME AND MAY HAVE NOT. ((SORRRRRY)).

WELL IF YOU WANNA TALK IM ALWAYS ON AIM JUST ASK FOR MY S/N..OR JUST FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

IN THE MEAN TIME.

QUESTION OF 2DAY IS: DOES MARRIAGE ACTUALLY MEAN LOCK DOWN?

DROP YOUR ANSWERS IN A COMMENT THANKX...

LiL MaN

2009-05-26T01:48:00.003-04:00

YES MY LIL MAN GOT A HAIR KUT(MAY 25,2009)!!!!...AND HE LOVES IT AND SO DO I!!
WHY DID I GET IT KUT??? I KNOW THATS YOUR QUESTION.....
WELL HE NEVER LIKED ME COMBIN, BRUSHING, WASHING OR BRAIDING HIS HAIR (HE USE TO KRY AND PUSH ME AWAY HE LIKED HIS HAIR BEING NAPPY ALL THE TIME) LOL HE JUST DIDNT WANT ME TOUCHING HIS HAIR PERIOD.

SO0O I FELT IT WAS TIME TO GET IT KUT AND I WAS READY FOR IT TO BE KUT
SO MY BIG CUZZIN TOOK HIM TO THE BARBER . DID I GO WITH THEM ??? HELL NO I WOULD OF KRIED MY ASS OFF. SERIOUSLY!!!

EVERYBODY SAY HE LOOK GROWN IN THE PIC ABOVE SHIT HE ALREADY THINK HE GROWN PEOPLE BE ASKING HIM HOW OLD HE IS AND HE SAY "4" . HE JUST PLAY TOO MUCH. HE KNOW HE AINT NO DAM "4". LOL

I LOVE THAT LIL BOY THO...

ITS HIS BIRTHDAY

2009-05-21T11:22:00.004-04:00

HAPPY 37TH BIRTHDAY TO THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G
(REST IN PEACE)

HE IS LOVED AND MISSED LIKE KRAZY!!!!

WOW HE BEEN GON FOR 12 YEARS!!

SO0O SAD!!!

i got it

2009-05-13T01:44:00.003-04:00

YESSSSSIR I FINALLY RECIEVED THE NEW SIDEKICK LX 2009 YESTERDAY (5-12-09). AND ITS GREAT. I LOVE IT!!!!!

BUT.....SMHx1000000000000000000000000000000000000

T-MOBILE SERVICES SUCKS. IT ALWAYS SOME TYPE OF OUTAGE SOMEWHERE....

WELL THATS ALL IMMA SAY !!!

SMHx100

2009-05-08T02:22:00.004-04:00

WOW HERE IT IS 2:23AM AND IM FIGHTING WITH MY FUCKING PHONE CHARGER. SMH IS T-MOBILE WOULD JUST SEND MY NEW PHONE I WOULDNT BE HAVING THIS DAM PROBLEM. OMG THEY SUCK...

ANTEEWAYS IM BORED SO0O WHY NOT BLOG RIGHT???.

WHOOP WHOOP MOTHERS DAY IS SUNDAY. THE MAIN THING I WANT IS A IPOD TOUCH. UGHHH I WANT ONE OF THOSE SO BAD BUT I KNOW I WONT GET ONE ON MOTHERS DAY SO0O0O OH WELL.

WAIT U HEAR THAT?? LOL OF COURSE NOT..BUT MY SON SNORING LIKE A GROWN ASS MAN..YUCK!! LOL

...............................

I HAVENT BLOG SINCE LAST MONTH THE 28TH. I GUESS CAUSE I DONT BE HAVING SHIT TO SAY. HALF THE DAM TIME MY MIND BE SO0O BLANK.. LIKE SERIOUSLY.....

SEE MY MIND BLINK NOW.I HAVE NOTHIN ELSE TO SAY SO0O0 IM OUT...

PS. WTF IS UP WIT CASSIE ??? OMG SHE REALLY IS CHANGING. WELL MORE POWER TO HER I GUESS. LOL I AINT HATING BUT I WILL NEVER PIERCE MY NIPPLES..YUCK!!

SAW

2009-04-28T02:24:00.003-04:00

OKAY SATURDAY THAT PASSED I WENT AND SEEN MY MAN CHRIS. IM LOVING HIM AND ITS SOMETHING REAL SERIOUS. THIS "HOLDING HIM DOWN" SHIT IS HARD. NOBODY EVER SAID IT WOULD BE EASY BUT DAM SOMETIMES I JUST BE IN THE ZONE AND I JUST START KRYIN BECAUSE I CANT BE NEXT TO HIM WHEN I WANNA BE OR HE CANT BE NEXT TO ME WHEN HE WANNA BE. I JUST WISH HE CAN BE A FREE MAN THATS ALL AND IM STILL PRAYING FOR THAT DAY TO COME. I KNOW I HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND THATS WHAT IM DOING.

"GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT" (I BELIEVE THAT)

ANYWAYS AS I TYPE THIS MY SON IS SNORING. LOL YEAH LIL MAN HAD A LONG DAY. OMG HE IS GROWING UP SO FAST DAY BY DAY. UGHHH I DONT WANNA GET OLD JUST YET. LOL HMMM I SEE MOTHERS DAY IS COMING UP AND I HAVENT EVEN MADE ANY PLANS YET. BUT HOPEFULLY I ENJOY THAT DAY WITH SOME FUN AND SHIT LIKE ALWAYS.

.....

OMG IM FEEN'N FOR MY NEW SIDEKICK TO GET HERE. UGHHH I NEED IT BAD CUZ THIS DAM KICK KEEP FUCKING UP.

DID YALL SEE OBSESSED???? WELL I DID THAT MOVIE IS THE 3RD BEST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR. YO BEYONCE AINT NO JOKE . I LOVED THE CHARACTER SHE PLAYED IN THE MOVIE. SHE A VERY GOOD ACTOR.. THAT OTHER KRAZII CHICK "ALI LARTER" WAS NUTS IN THAT MOVIE FOR REAL. I WANTED TO SMACK HER. DEAD ASS. LIKE HOW THE FUCK...NEVER MIND DONT WANNA SAY ANYTHING THAN THAT WOULD BE KINDA TELLING THE MOVIE AND SOME OF YALL PROBABLY AINT SEE IT YET. SO IMMA HUSH FOR NOW. LOL

WELL IM DONE WITH THIS POST

JUST HAD TOO

2009-04-19T22:46:00.003-04:00

YES I JUST HAD TO PRE-ORDER ME THE NEW SIDEKICK LX. YES I KNOW IM FEEN'N BUT I DONT EVEN CARE. CAUSE I NEED A NEW PHONE. MUST ADMIT IM ADDICTED TO SIDEKICKS.

THAN I WAS ON WWW.HIPTOP3.COM READING ABOUT IT AND I JUST FELL MORE IN LOVE WITH THE PHONE. LOL.

LOOK NOW YOU CANT SAY YOU AINT GETTING THIS PHONE AFTER YOU READ THIS BELOW....GO HEAD READ IT.....

Thanks to the folks at the official Danger Device Forums, there are a lot more specifics on features thanks to the moderators who actually have been test-driving the devices for several weeks. Here is the rundown so far (with some more pics!):

No Shells like the 2008
3 mood lights – new locations: 1 on top and bottom of the keyboard

http://www.poweredbydanger.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1332&d=1240058761

and 1 long one on the top edge of the screen when opened (bottom of screen when closed)

http://www.poweredbydanger.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1333&d=1240058814

Actual Screen Shot (click for full size)

no animated gifs
SDHC Memory – no limit – just what is available on the market (16gb – OK!!)
Speaker is louder than before
Video Mode - Low Res is a 176×144 resolution meant for sending via email/mms. This resolution is limited to something like 4 minutes.
Video taken from an SK09 (Hi-Res Mode – no recording limit!!):

http://s581.photobucket.com/albums/ss259/appletech_pbd/?action=view&current=VID00002.flv

Photo App Max size: 2,048 x 1,536

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/8283/img00061h.jpg
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/2281/img00062l.jpg
http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/7992/img00064l.jpg

You can Geotag photos with your GPS location.
It’s a 3.2MP camera with Auto Focus and flash (no zooming).
There’s an auto focus mode with options distant and macro mode. There’s white balance controls, and B&W, Sepia, Negative effect options.
Available resolution options are:
- 2048 x 1536
- 1600 x 1200
- 1280 x 960
- 800 x 600
- 640 x 480
YouTube videos work.
m.break.com videos work (but not smooth)
Seesmic does not work
Facebook app seems to be a souped-up mobile version. No videos, apps, etc.
Internet Radio Works!! (Ex: ShoutCast):
http://poweredbydanger.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1342&d=1240089939
Yahoo Messenger supports animated buddy icons.
AIM and Yahoo Messenger now support photo sharing
You can also upload videos to youtube (or photobucket or myspace) directly
Web Browser still does not support Flash
You cannot roam on AT&Ts 3G Network due to the ranges being different:
The LX09 supports UMTS Bands 2100, 1700, 850.
T-Mobile uses 1700 and 2100 for 3G, while AT&T uses 1900. So you won’t be able to roam on AT&T 3G.
As for “Other networks”, it depends on what 3G band they are using.
Still has chrome around the USB/Charger, but appears to be more sratch-resistant:
http://poweredbydanger.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1338&d=1240087896
Data plans are grandfathered. T-Mobile will not raise your rates
When GPS is on, the battery drains faster. (there is an option to turn it on/off)
Browser is overall the same as the last OTA on the LX. But you have a LOT more room:
http://poweredbydanger.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1319&d=1239974010
Still 6MB limit on email/ 100+30 limit on SMS (both same as before)
No confirmation as to “Free Ringtone downloads” still basing it on info already published.
Themes can still be user-generated like before
Social apps (Twitter, Myspace, Photobucket, and Facebook) are all FREE – no monthly charges!!!!

NEW SIDEKICK LX

2009-04-18T11:57:00.005-04:00

YES THATS THE NEW SIDEKICK LX COMING OUT MAY 13TH. I WANT IT SO BAD IM THINKING ABOUT PRE-ORDERING IT BUT IM NOT SURE YET. BUT I KNOW I WANT THE DAM PHONE FORSHO. AND I BELIEVE I JUST MIGHT GET IT. SHIT I NEEDA NEW PHONE. IM TIRED OF THE KICK I GOT THE SCREEN ALWAYS GOING BLANK IM NOT SURPRISED EITHER CAUSE IT DID FALL IN THE TOILET...BUT ANYWAYS AGAIN I WANT THIS NEW KICK....LOL AINT IT SEXY? WELL I THINK IT IS. WHO ELSE WANT IT OR GETTING IT???

I KNOW I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS NEW KICK.

IN CASE

2009-04-06T01:59:00.005-04:00

YEAH IN CASE YALL WAS WONDERING WHY I AINT BEEN POSTING OR COMMENTING YALL POSTS. DONT WORRY. IM ALL GOOD. JUST LIVING AND LOVING MY LIFE AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT. FEEL ME? CAUSE TIME JUST FLYING BY AND I HAVE NONE TO WASTE. CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS APRIL ALREADY?. DAM CAUSE I CANT BELIEVE THE SHIT. BEFORE I KNOW ITS GON BE SUMMER. WHICH IS KOOL. BUT DAM CAN TIME SLOW THE HELL DOWN. LOL I DONT WANNA GET TOO OLD. WELL I AM READY TO HIT THE BIG 21 SO I CAN BUY MY OWN FUCKING DRINK. LOL YEAH BUT I AINT RUSHING MY AGE. FEEL ME?

SO LIKE WHATS UP WIT YALL????. BY THE WAY MY LOVE LIFE WITH MY MAN CHRIS IS GOING GOOD AND I CAN SEE HIM COMING HOME SOON BUT JUST GOTTA BE REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL PATIENT. YEAH IM STILL HOLDING HIM DOWN.

DAM I STILL DONT GOTTA JOB YET AND I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. AND I NEED TO GET BACK IN SCHOOL SO IM REALLY WORKING ON THAT.

WHO GOT FOOLED ON APRIL FOOLS DAY??? I ALMOST DID AND IM GLAD I DIDNT. LOL CAUSE I DONT LIKE BEING FOOLED.

WELL IMMA END THIS POST HERE WITH A PICTURE OF ME AND MY LIL MAN

My Hair & I love it

2009-03-29T18:06:00.006-04:00

Yes its my REAL hair and I love it. Its not that long but its long enough. I gotta Lil color in it in the front as you can see in the first picture. Not much color its kool though. I like it Its kute. You like? *My sister did it*.

Its such a whack ass sunday aint nothing to do!

Well here are some more pictures since im bored lol
I love taking pictures especially with my LiL MaN!!!

T-MOBILE

2009-03-28T16:15:00.005-04:00

T-MOBILE REALLY FUCKING GETTING ON MY LAST FUCKING NERVES. IM SO FRUSTRATED WITH THEY DAM SERVICE. FOR REAL I AM. WHY IS IT THAT IM ALWAYS LOSING SERVICE? SOMETIMES I CAN BE FUCKING OUTSIDE AND I LOST SERVICE. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT. SHIT YO. IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. OMG THAN I BE ON AIM IN THE MIDDLE OF IMPORTANT CONVERSTATIONS AND MY DAM SIDEKICK JUST LOSE FUCKING SERVICE. HMMMM T-MOBILE REALLY NEED TO GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER BECAUSE IM HIGHLY UPSET WITH THEY DAM SERVICE. THAN I HEAR THEY SUPPOSE TO HAVE A NEW SIDEKICK COMING OUT. I HOPE THEY GON FIX THEY FUCKING SERVICE BEFORE THEY DECIDE TO RELEASE THAT FUCKING PHONE. CAUSE I WANT THAT DAM PHONE LOL. BUT YEAH AS YOU CAN SEE IM PISSED THE FUCK OFF WITH THEM. I DONT WANNA GO TO NO OTHER PHONE COMPANY CAUSE I LOVE MY SIDEKICK RIGHT NOW BUT SOONER OR LATER I KNOW I WILL PROBALLII GO TO ANOTHER PHONE COMPANY OR MAYBE I WONT. I REALLY DONT KNOW.UGHHHHHH I JUST WANT THEM TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEY FUCKING SERVICE. YA DIG ME?

THEY GONE

2009-03-25T01:45:00.009-04:00

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssir I finally took the box braids out. My hair feels so great even though its thick as I dont know what. But I love my real hair but love box braids more LoL. Not sure when Imma put the box braids back in but imma let this style rock for a while I guess. My hair needs air from the weave. I might even let my sister color it for me. (Not my whole head though), not sure of what color though so thats why I say "MIGHT".

I know my post have been short here lately and kinda not really interesting , but dont worry they will soon be longer and more interesting!! lol be patient!!! hahahahahahaha

Well this it for this post wait on more thing........... "I miss my man"

My babii is 2 now

2009-03-24T01:08:00.006-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON DAQUAN....

So yesssssssssssssss today is my son Daquan birthday. He turned the big 2 years old. Awww he growing up so fast...I cant believe it. I gave him a party on saturday. He had a blast and so did I. I love this lil boy to death.
*Those are pictures from the party on saturday (eww i look a mess but ok). If you wanna see more pictures of the party just check my myspace page cause im not gonna post all those pics here LoL*

Smooches!!

61st Post & Im Angry

2009-03-18T14:02:00.004-04:00

Yes thats how I look when Im angry. Not a kute site to me cause so many evil things go playing in my brain. Well im angry cause my mother put my weave in the bottom of the cloest. So I pulled mad shit out and had to put it back. SMFH!...Im just so tired of her touching my shit. And she knows how I get when it comes to my dam hair.I pay too much money for it for it go missing and shit. Dig what Im saying? Oh just in case you wondering thats not a glue or sew'n weave in the picture above. ITS BOX BRAIDS!!!..But anyways she need to stop moving my shit. If I touch her stuff I get yelled at WTF. Well I was so angry when I was looking for my weave. LOL I start screaming "OMG ma where is it?? stop touching my stuff". Yeah im angry. She want me to turn my music down now. NOPE aint gonna turn shit down . Cause its calming me down alot. She so dam annoying. Cant she see when im angry????...Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!

So Lame

2009-03-14T12:31:00.004-04:00

IM SORRY BUT I JUST HAD TO DENY THAT REQUEST. HE SO0O0O0O0O LAME. LIKE DEAD ASS. THE MESSAGES & SHIT I BE GETTING ON MYSPACE IS VERY WEIRD AND STUPID SOMETIMES I JUST PUT IT ON BLAST AND THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE WAS VERY LAME. AND WHAT IN THE HELL HE DOING IN THAT PICTURE???.

Thoughts & shit I collected

2009-03-12T11:15:00.004-04:00

Why is it so dam cold today?? {well to me it is maybe not to some of yall}
I cant stand the cold but I sleep very well when im nice and cold. LoL weird right? Yea I know.

I still got these dam box braids in, shit I had them in since feb 6th. So you already know I got mad
new growth. Well im not sure to when im taking these shits out. I can see my grey strands of hair too only up really close though. SMH how fucking sad is that...

Im glad to see that some people in this are changing. Thats very good too!!!!

why do I be up sometimes pass 2:OOam and dont even be sleepy. Some nights I have to force myself to sleep....

YAY my lil man turn the big 2 on the 24th. Yes he getting big, I cant believe it. I miss him being a new born. Awww those was the days....

Is my man coming home next month???Shit I really hope so I aint see him in months, im tryna go see him soon though.

Why is it so dam boring???

273 buddies on aim and how many I hit up or hit me up ?? Proballii like a 100 0f them.

Ok this it for this post cuz my thigh got a pain in it ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh and im via-laptop

FUSTRATED

2009-03-02T16:57:00.002-05:00

SHIT SO WHICKED NOW A DAYS.

ITS SNOW OUTSIDE OMG UGHHHHHHHH....

HMMMMMM I GOT MY 7TH TATTOO THE OTHER DAY....NOT GON SAY WHAT IT IS CAUSE I DONT WANT YALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM STUPID......I SHOULDNT REALLY WORRY ABOUT WHAT YALL THINK CAUSE ITS MY BODY RIGHT??...LOL

WELL ANYWAYS I WISH THIS SNOW WOULD GO AWAY AND SUMMER HURRY UP AND COME. SHIT I DONT LIKE THE COLD......

IM JUST SO FUSTRATED I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM NEW YORK LIKE ASAP. YES I REALLY NEED A VACATION. PEOPLE ARE REALLY STARTING TO GET ON MY FUCKING NERVES INCLUDING MY MOM. FOR REAL. IM JUST STRESSED TO THE POINT I THINK MY HAIR MIGHT FALL OUT IF I STRESS ANY LONGER. SO IM TRYNA SEE WHATS UP WITH GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF NEW YORK FOR A WHILE. DEAD ASS. CAUSE THIS FUCKING SHIT HERE I CANT TAKE IT...

WELL IM OFF TO READ SOME OF YALL POSTS.....

ITS TRUE

2009-02-19T10:36:00.009-05:00

"IF YOU CONSTANTLY TELL A MAN HE'S CHEATING THAN SOONER OR LATER HE WILL"

(ITS TRUE I BEEN THROUGH IT. BELIEVE ME. IF YOU SIT UP THERE AND TELL A MAN HE'S CHEATING WHEN HE SAYING HE AINT THAN IF HE REALLY IS CHEATING HE'S GONNA KEEP DOING IT AND IF HE NOT CHEATING HE WILL START JUST BECAUSE YOU ACCUSING HIM OF DOING SO.

YES HE WILL FEEL LIKE "SHE ALREADY KNOW IM CHEATING SO WHY NOT KEEP DOING IT" OR "SHE ALREADY THINK IM CHEATING SO WHY NOT START CHEATING"

YEAH NONE OF THIS MAY SOUND TRUE OR MAKE ANY SENSE TO YALL BUT ITS REALLY TRUE AND MAKES ALOT OF SENSE IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT OR BEEN THROUGH IT LIKE I HAVE....YA FEEL ME?

HELL YEAH ITS WRONG BUT THATS JUST SOME MEN!!!

"MEN WILL BE MEN REGARDLESS IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT" AND ITS A SHAME I KNOW.

SO WHEN YOU GOTTA REAL MAN(FAITHFUL MAN) YOU BETTER HOLD ON TO HIM CAUSE I KNOW ITS GON BE HARD TO FIND ANOTHER REAL MAN CAUSE IT AINT THAT MANY REAL MEN IN THIS WORLD HALF OF THEM ARE MARRIED OR IN PRISON.

YA DIG WHAT IM SAYING?

Life is short as hell

2009-02-18T17:09:00.003-05:00

YES LIFE IS REALLY SHORT AND ITS REALLY KRAZII. KINDA SCARY TOO SHIT.

ALL IM SAYING IS "LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT"..THERE IS NO DAM TIME TO BE WASTED FOR REAL CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW YOU CAN BE GON BY TOMORROW. YES LIFE IS THAT SHORT...

OK NOW IF YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/FRIEND/SISTER/BROTHER/UNCLE/GRANDPARENTS TELLING YOU TO COME VISIT THEM ONE DAY JUST GO AND DONT SAY "MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME" CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IT JUST MIGHT NOT BE A NEXT TIME. FEEL ME? AND IF YOU ARE BUSY ON THAT DAY THEY WANNA LINK UP JUST INVITE THEM TO WHEREVER YOUR GONNA BE BUSY AT LOL. WELL YALL SHOULD GET WHAT IM SAYING.

SORRY THIS A SHORT POST THIS TIME

LOL HOW SHORT IS IT THO????

Boring Mondays

2009-02-16T22:44:00.005-05:00

Yes mondays seem so boring, I cant believe I been in the house all day. Didnt even step foot in the hallway today and usally I do but I dont know whats wrong with me. Maybe cause Im missing my babii cuzzin but I know sooner or later I will be just fine. Tommorow im going outside I dont care how cold it is out there either. LoL. Well here lately I been taking pictures. So imma share them with yall.

Pretty Flicks or what??....People keep saying im getting FAT. Which is not true in my eyes. Maybe they saying that cause im always saying "Im hungry". Shit I really do be hungry LoL. I love food and cant live without some. If Im angry you better go get me some food. Cause it calms me down alot.

Dam im really missing Chris like krazii..I ask myself how much longer can I go holding him down???..than I say "thats a stupid question" because if I made it this far holding him down I can go further!!...right? what yall think??.. I love him to death so im always gon be here for him.
Wishing he hurry up and come home thats all.

...........

Im so bored in this dam house. It really sucks so much for real!!!
Dam I feel like a I need a new life..SHit I do need a new Life.

Imma start changing mad shit!!

Change is always good!!!!

Im going to grease my scalp so imma end this post!

I might type another one before I go to bed thats if im not to tired after I grease my scalp!!!

DUCES!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost

2009-02-15T11:06:00.003-05:00

On friday was my babii cuzzin funeral..OMG so sad!!

I took pictures but I will not post up here its too emotional for real.

I still cant believe he's really gone....

I just dont wanna believe he's gone. I stood at that casket for so long. I didnt wanna leave his side. People tried to pull me awaii I just wouldnt move though.It hurt my heart to see him like that. I love him and wished he could of had more time to live. I know I will meet him again so until than all I can do is be strong.

R.I.P LiL NorriS

Okay I Guess

2009-02-11T10:39:00.004-05:00

YEA I GUESS IM OKAY. JUST TRYNA STAY STRONG BUT ITS HARD. I CANT EVEN EXPLAN HOW I FEEL. MY MIND JUST ALL FUCKED UP.

MY BABII CUZZIN FUNERAL ON FRIDAY. I ALREADY KNOW IMMA TAKE IT REAL HARD. NOT CRYING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME AT FUNERALS NO MATTER HOW HARD I SQUEEZE MY EYES SO THE TEARS WONT COME OUT, THAT SHIT DOESNT WORK. ITS LIKE I LOST A BABII BUT IT WASNT MINE BUT I CAN FEEL THE PAIN THAT THE PARENTS ARE GOING THROUGH. ITS SO SAD. DAM I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. EVERYTHING SEEM SO FUCKED UP.

I WANTED TO HAVE A SPECIAL BOND WITH MY BABII CUZZIN . FOR REAL I WANTED TO BE THAT BIG CUZZIN WHERE HE CAN COME TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING I MEAN ANYTHING DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT IS. YES I WOULD OF BEEN THERE FOR HIM THROUGH EVERYTHING. BEEN ON HIS SIDE WHETHER HE WAS RIGHT OR WRONG. I WOULD OF HAD HIS BACK.

DAM I THOUGHT MY LIL MAN WAS GON REALLY HAVE SOMEBODY TO RUN AROUND WITH AND SHIT. YA KNOW DRIVE ME KRAZII. THEY COULD OF HAD SLEEP OVERS AND EVERYTHING. I WOULD OF TOOK MY BABII CUZZIN EVERYWHERE ME AND MY LIL MAN WENT. OMG THIS IS REALLY KILLING MY HEART LIKE DEAD ASS. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I LOVE KIDS THATS WHY THIS IS BREAKING MY HEART SO MUCH!!!!

WELL IMMA STOP HERE MAYBE POST ANTHER POST LATER OR W/E

Sad day

2009-02-06T22:48:00.003-05:00

WHAT A SAD DAY IT IS FOR ME TODAY. MY SIDEKICK FELL IN THE TOILET SO ITS KINDA GOOD/BAD NOW...IM NOT EVEN STRESSING THIS DAM SIDEKICK RIGHT NOW....

MY BABII CUZZIN WHO I AINT GET TO MEET YET DIED TODAY AND HE JUST MADE 1 MONTH OLD TODAY. HE WAS BORN WHEN HIS MOM WAS 6 MONTHS PREGNANT (JAN 6, 2009). HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL SINCE HE WAS BORN. HE NEEDED HELP BREATHING. SAD RIGHT?. I CANT BELIEVE IT. ALL I CAN DO IS CRY MY HEART OUT. DAM I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY IN THIS POST. SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. IM TAKING IT HARD RIGHT NOW.......

R.I.P TO MY BABII CUZZIN NORRIS...I LOVE U AND MISS U ALREADY!

SMFH...DAM YO

DONT KNOW WHEN IMMA WRITE ANOTHER POST SO UNTIL THAN SMOOCHES YALL!

CRYING OUT

2009-02-03T10:14:00.003-05:00

IM SITTING HERE CRYING OUT MY FUCKING HEART WHILE LISTENING TO MUSIC. MUSIC HELPS ME CALM DOWN AND SO DOES FOOD BUT SINCE IM BEING LAZII IM NOT GONNA GET UP AND FIX ME SOMETHING TO EAT.

REASON IM CRYING IS CAUSE THESE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS MY MOM BEEN STRESSING ME OUT AND SHIT. COMPLAINING OVER LIL SHIT AND WANTING TO ARGUE AND FIGHT ALL THE TIME. THE FIGHTING AND ARGUING ALL THE TIME IM JUST NOT TRYNA GO THROUGH THAT WITH NOBODY THIS YEAR. I DONT MEAN TO GET STRESSED BUT THIS LADII THAT CALLS HERSELF MY MOM IS REALLY ON MY LAST NERVE. IM AT THIS POINT WHERE IM JUST GON SNAP OUT AND DO SOMETHING KRAZII. I REALLY JUST NEED TO GET AWAY FOR REAL.

SEE I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH FROM A PERSON UNTIL IT ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND MY MOM IS ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME. SHE WAS JUST SAYING SOME BULLSHIT OUT HER MOUTH I JUST FELT LIKE SMACKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER IT SOUNDS MEAN BUT THATS JUST A FEELING I HAD. I JUST SAT HERE AND KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE REALLY HURT THIS LADII FOR REAL. WHEN IM MAD AND CRYING I TEND TO GO KRAZII AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME. SO IM CRYING AND I DECIDED TO TYPE A POST. AS I TYPE THIS ITS CALMING ME DOWN A LIL AND SO IS THIS MUSIC....

"THIS WORLD WILL REALLY BE FUCKED UP WITHOUT ANY MUSIC, THANK GOD FOR
MUSIC".........

WHY CANT SHE JUST KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF?????

OMG I JUST WANNA SCREAM OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE I GUESS

2009-02-02T20:04:00.002-05:00

FIRST OFF IF YOU AINT KNOW I GOT TWO MORE TATTOOS(5TH & 6TH ONE) "MY GRANDMA AND MOM NAME"IN ONE WEEK. YEAH ITS A ADDICTIVE. TO ME THEY DONT HURT EITHER. I TAKE IT LIKE A G. LOL WELL ANYWAYS MY LIFE IS GOING GOOD I GUESS. JUST WANTING CHRIS TO COME HOME. IM MISSING HIM LIKE KRAZII. HE STILL IN THAT DAM BOX. OMG I NEED TO HERE HIS VOICE OR SOMETHING. WELL IT COST $80 TO GO SEE HIM NOW. BUT WHEN HE WAS AT THE OLD PRISON IT ONLY WAS $50. SHIT THEY TRIPPING. WELL IF I DO GO SEE HIM IT GOTTA BE REAL SOON!!! JUST TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT CHRIS MAKES ME WANNA CRY CAUSE HE NEEDS TO BE HOME WITH ME. BEING ALONE ON THEM COLD DAYS WITH NOBODY TO CUDDLE WITH REALLY SUCKS. FOR REAL I CRY SOMETIMES!

MOVING ON......

ME AND MY BABYFATHER ARE LIKE THE BEST OF FRIENDS NOW WELL SOMETHING LIKE THAT CUZ WE REALIZED ALL THAT FIGHTING AND SHIT AINT WORTH IT. YUP IT REALLY AINT IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

WOW I CANT BELIEVE JANUARY JUST FLEW BY SO FAST. TIME NEED TO SLOW DOWN. LMAO I DONT WANNA GET OLD YET. NEXT MONTH MY LIL MAN WILL BE THE BIG 2 . DAM I CANT BELIEVE IT. MY LIL MAN ABOUT TO BE A BIG MAN BEFORE I KNEW IT. FOR REAL...

OK THIS IS IT FOR THIS POST CAUSE IM GETTING TIRED OF TYPING AND MY LIL MAN QUAN WONT GO BACK TO SLEEP...

SMOOCHES!!!!!

FINALLY SHOPPED

2009-01-26T23:02:00.006-05:00

HEY EVERYONE SORRY I BEEN M.I.A LOL AGAIN . WELL I FINALLY WENT SHOPPING YAY THANK GOD. CAUSE IT FELT LIKE I AINT SHOP IN YEARS. WENT SHOPPING THREE DAYS IN A ROW. YEAH I HAD TO GET ME AND MY SON SOME STUFF. WE GOT MATCHING SNEAKERS LOL IM HYPE DONT MIND ME. I JUST LOVE SHOPPING WHEN I CAN. FOR REAL ITS MAKES ME HAPPY.

I EVEN BROUGHT ME THIS
YES THATS MY LAPTOP. ITS A "ASUS"(THATS THE BRAND) AND I LOVE IT EVEN WHEN I LOSE SIGNAL LOL. ITS SO TINY AND SEXY DONT YOU THINK?....IM HYPE CAUSE I FINALLY GOT A LAPTOP SOMETHING I WANTED FOR A WHILE.

IM SO HAPPY I CANT EXPLAIN!!! LOL

AWWWW LOOK AT MY LIL MAN ISNT HE SO HANDSOME !! (THATS MY HEART HE COMPLETE ME)

AND HERE IS THE LAST PIC IN THIS POST GUESS WHO? ME OF COURSE WITH MY SHOPPING MONEY IN MY HAND......
IM TOO HYPE IMMA END THIS POST HERE!

JAN 20TH

2009-01-20T20:45:00.004-05:00

INAUGURATION DAY!!!!

~AT THIS TIME IM WATCHIN "YES WE WILL INAUGURAL CELEBRATION" ON BET~

BARACK OBAMA-OUR 44TH PRESIDENT AND OUR FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~IM SO HAPPY~~~~~~~~~~~

YES WE MADE HISTORY!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

WE GON HAVE ALOT OF HATERS FOR THIS RIGHT HERE BUT IT AINT NOTHING.......

CHANGE IS COMING, BELIEVE THAT CAUSE I DAM SURE DO!

Dam

2009-01-15T09:48:00.003-05:00

DAM IS WHAT I SAID TODAY WHEN I REALIZED I HAVENT POSTED A BLOG IN SO LONG AND I HAVENT BEEN READING YALL POST LIKE I SHOULD BEEN DOING. SORRY. ITS JUST THAT I BE FORGETING AND SHIT. KRAZII RIGHT? BUT DID YALL MISS ME ? LOL. WELL IMMA START BEING ON HERE MORE OFTEN. SHIT I DONT EVEN GET ON MYSPACE THAT MUCH NOMORE CAUSE I USE TO BE ON IT ALL DAY LOL . I JUST CHECK MY MESSAGES AND SIGN RIGHT OFF. HALF THE TIME I DONT EVEN WANNA GET ON THE COMPUTER. I DONT KNOW IM GETTIG OLD I GUESS LOL. THIS COMPUTER SEEM SO WHACK AT TIMES.

NOW I DO BOOK KEEPING AT THIS DINER, ONCE A WEEK (EVERY WEDNESDAY). SO WHACK I KNOW. BUT I GOTTA GET MONEY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER......YA DIG IT? BUT IM STILL LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB.

-
THEY MOVED MY MAN CHRIS TO ANOTHER PRISON. ITS MORE FAR THAN THE OLD PRISON. SHIT KRAZII. I JUST WANT HIM TO COME HOME BUT ALL I CAN DO IS BE PATIENT FOR REAL. I DONT KNOW WHEN IMMA GO VISIT HIM BUT IT WILL BE SOON.

-
I FINALLY TOOK MY RED AND BLACK BOX BRAIDS OUT AND PUT A PERM IN MY HAIR. LOL YEA I SHOULD OF LET THE HAIR SALON DO MY PERM BECAUSE AFTER I DID IT SHIT AINT LOOK LIKE I HAD A PERM SO I HAD TO FLAT IRON IT. SHOOT MY HAIR MAD THICK. I LIKE IT THICK THOUGH CAUSE WHEN ITS THIN I KINDA FEEL BALD HEADED..LOL

DAM I CANT BELIEVE ITS SNOWING RIGHT NOW, EVEN THOUGH I LOVE SNOW. IM SITTING HERE FUCKING BORED OUT MY MIND. LOL

-
YAY BIGGIE MOVIE COMING OUT TOMORROW . IM SO HYPE TO SEE IT. ITS GON BE SO KRAZII TOMORROW I CAN FEEL IT(NIGGAHS GON WILD OUT WATCH). IM NOT EVEN SURE IF IMMA GO SEE THE MOVIE TOMORROW OR WHAT. BUT I REALLY WANNA SEE IT.

WELL ANYWAYS IM ABOUT TO READ SOME OF YALL BLOGS AND IMMA TRY NOT TO GO MISSIN IN ACTION NOMORE!!!! LOL SHIT I DONT BE HAVING NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. MY LIFE IS KINDA BORING SO THATS ANOTHER REASON I DONT BE HAVING NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT .

WOW 2009 IS HERE

2009-01-04T11:02:00.009-05:00

I KNOW I KEEP GOING M.I.A FROM WRITTING POSTS. MY BAD!! WELL HAPPY NEW YEARS YALL. ARE YALL FEELING THIS YEAR BETTER THAN LAST YEAR???? CAUSE IM FORSHO GON LOVE THIS YEAR BETTER THAN LAST YEAR WELL HOPEFULLY I DO. SORRY LATELY I JUST DONT BE IN A BLOG MOOD SO I DONT POST ANYTHING. KINDA DONT BE HAVING NOTHING TO SAY. HMMM I SEE ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE RESOLUTIONS FOR THIS YEAR WELL I DONT HAVE ONE, CANT THINK OF ANY.

EVERYBODY SO HYPE ABOUT THE NEW YEAR SAYING "NEW YEAR NEW ME" DONT PEOPLE SAY THAT EVERY YEAR???...........YEA THEY DO. ONLY THING DIFFERENT ABOUT EACH YEAR IS THAT THE NUMBERS CHANGE. SOME PEOPLE DONT REALLY CHANGE WHICH DONT REALLY MATTER TO ME( LOL). WELL THIS YEAR I DONT KNOW IF I WILL CHANGE, JUST GOTTA WAIT IN SEE CAUSE SHIT HAPPENS.

IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS NICE TO YOU LAST YEAR MAYBE I WILL BE NICER TO YOU THIS YEAR. NOW IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS MEAN TO YOU LAST YEAR THAN MAYBE THIS YEAR I JUST MIGHT SAY "FUCK YOU"...LOL I DONT KNOW. I ALWAYS SPEAK MY MIND SO WHAT EVER COMES OUT MY MOUTH IT JUST COMES OUT AND THIS YEAR I MIGHT NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT PEOPLE FEELINGS LIKE I DID LAST YEAR.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS YEAR IS GONNA BRING BUT IM JUST PRAYING THAT CHRIS COME HOME THIS YEAR. CAUSE THIS SHIT GOT ME GOING KRAZY ON THE INSIDE. SHIT MY LOVE IS LOCKED IN A CELL. SHIT IS KILLING ME!!!

YEAH SO I HOPE I HAVE A GOOD YEAR THIS YEAR CAUSE I DONT WANNA HAVE A FUCKED UP YEAR LIKE LAST YEAR. BEEN THROUGH THE DRAMA AND STRESS. OH HELL NO I DONT WANNA GO THROUGH THAT SHIT THIS YEAR. I WANNA BE DRAMA AND STRESS FREE THE WAY TO BE. YA DIG IT?

ISNT IT AMAZING HOW FAST 2009 GOT HERE. I MEAN LIKE DAM IT JUST FELT LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN IT WAS JAN 1ST 2008. DOESNT IT? OR AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT FEEL LIKE THAT??????. SEE TIME IS FUCKING FLYING THATS WHY I SAY "LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE UNHAPPY" FOR REAL.

WELL IM OUT HOPEFULLY I BE BACK WITH ANOTHER POST WHEN I BE IN THE MOOD TO POST AGAIN BUT DONT WORRYING IM STILL READING YALL POST.

YES THATS ME BEFORE THE BALL DROPPED. LOL I WAS LIL TIPSY THOUGH

Where I been

2008-12-29T01:27:00.005-05:00

Dam it seems like I aint post in a long time. But it really hasnt been long, has it??...Well I decided to post now just before I go to sleep. I been having some sad and good days but its life so its nothing to me only a phase thats all I will be just fine. Well how was yall christmas???..My Christmas was great. My son got some many toys and shit and I got a pair of Baby Phat Sneakers aslo a Baby Phat coat..Yes I think im kute. LoL naw let me stop being conceited....

Well this pass weekend I stayed at my homegirl Star house. I had so much fun even had some Long Island Ice Tea(shit sneaks up on u). Shoot we got so drunk to the point we aint know what the fuck we were talking about all we knew that we was drunk. LoL..

Anyways I have been receving letters from Chris...THANK GOD... but he is going to be in the box/hole for 4 months...UGHHH meaning we cant talk over the phone for 4 dam months (now I bet time wont fly so fast now just cuz I want it to) and he still have a possablity of coming home next year (2OO9) Im praying hard too!!!! I Just wanna cry just because I need him here with me.Im not gon get into what was said in the letters but everything with US(relationship wise) is going really good.

Moving on to talk about something else cause I dont wanna start crying cause I miss him like krazii.....

Im so hungry right now I dont what to do but I know for dam sure I aint going to no store at this time (1:43am). I got a taste for chineese food well I know I wont get none of that at this time cause the chineese resturant is closed. So therefore no deliever to my house. LoL...

Aww Quan on his Pony (1 of the gifts he got for Christmas)

Sexy And Slim right??? *Yup thats me*

Interesting/Good Day

2008-12-20T18:41:00.005-05:00

TODAY WAS A INTERESTING/GOOD DAY. MY SON DROVE ME KRAZY LIKE ALWAYS LOL. I TALKED TO MY BOSS AT MY OLD JOB(KEVINS RESTURANT). HE WAS CLAIMING HE WAS TRYNA CALL ME. WHICH I KNOW IS A DAWN LIE BUT WHATEVER OR MAYBE HE WAS TRYING TO CALL WHO KNOWS. WELL I WENT OVER TO HIM AT THE JOB TODAY AND HE TELLS ME HE NEEDS MY HELP. MEANING HE WANT ME TO COME BACK TO WORK SO IM LIKE I GUESS THATS KOOL. SO I WILL START WORKING BACK THERE ON NEW YEARS EVE. YAY ME...YEAH I KNOW YALL LIKE NEW YEARS EVE. THATS WHAT IM SAYING BUT ITS KOOL TO ME.

MOVING ON....

I HAD A INTERESTING CONVO ON AIM WITH MY BABYFATHER TODAY. HE REALLY SHOCKED ME AND KINDA TOUCHED MY HEART WITH THE SHIT HE WAS SAYING. OKAY OKAY HE DID HAVE ME IN SOME TEARS. WELL I STARTED THE CONVO OFF CAUSE I WAS JUST SITTING THERE THINKING ON WHY I WAS MEAN TO HIM AFTER ME AND HIM HAD BROKE UP. SO YOU KNOW ME I HIT HIM UP....

ME: I never use to be this nice to u
ME: I was just thinking
My BabyFather: abt..........
ME: Maybe I was afraid I wasnt gon be ur babymother nomore thats proballii y I was so dam mean
My BabyFather: how u have my son how manii tymez i have 2 tell u dat
My BabyFather: i juss needed u 2 get dat thru ur head
ME: I know that....
ME: But sometimes I just couldnt get it in my head
ME: Idk y
----------------------------------------- 1:42 pm -----------------------------------------
ME: I like when we not in a relationship. Thats y I accepted shaneequa as ur gf & started being nice
My BabyFather: lol u serious
ME: Lol
ME: Yesssir
ME: im serious abt everything I say
ME: I didnt have to accept her if I aint want too..but its like she no harm so y should I hate her.
ME: I was happy for ya love life..thats y I didnt get mad when I found out abt the tattoo it was stupid but lol that wat happens when u in love

----------------------------------------- 1:49 pm -----------------------------------------
My BabyFather: yeah i guess
My BabyFather: and i neva wanna tell u who im wit cuz i dont want u 2 feel bad
My BabyFather: n da inside
My BabyFather: cuz i still luv u
ME: Yea I learned that...
My BabyFather: u had my first child
My BabyFather: and dats neva gonna change even wen we fight
My BabyFather: i still have da same luv i did wen we first started
ME: I know u still love me but shit happens & its a reason we broke up
ME: Im not mad at u
My BabyFather: u have any problem wit a nigga u tell me and i got u
My BabyFather: u know dat
My BabyFather: ik
ME: Yea
ME: I know u got me
My BabyFather: and 2 tell u da truth i cant put no gurl b4 u

OKAY IMMA STOP THERE WITH THAT CONVO....I WASNT EVEN GON BLOG ABOUT THIS BUT I JUST HAD TO CAUSE THIS IS THE DEEPEST CONVERSATION I EVER HAD WITH HIM(WELL TO ME ITS DEEP). YES I WAS IN TEARS WHEN HE SAID HE STILL LOVE ME. I ALWAYS KNEW THAT BUT TO HEAR IT COME FROM HIM REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART. I THINK WE BROKE UP ONLY FOR THE GOOD SO WE BOTH CAN MOVE ON AND NOT FIGHT/ARGUE ALL THE TIME. YEAH WE HAVE ARGUEMENTS ONCE IN A WHILE BUT NOT LIKE WE USE TOO. CAUSE BEFORE WE USE TO ARGUE EVERY GOT DAM DAY ESPECAILLY WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER. MY BABYFATHER HAS CHANGED ALOT AND IM GLAD HE DID, CAUSE IF HE WOULD OF STILL BEEN THAT "IMMATURE DUDE" THIS COMING 2009 I WOULD OF LOST MY DAM MIND FOR REAL.

OH JUST IN CASE YALL ASK ....**YES HE REALLY GOT HIS GIRL NAME TATTED ON HIM**AND HE KNOWS THAT WAS A STUPID KRAZI MOVE TOO BUT HEY THATS HIS BODY HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE PLEASE TO IT . I CANT TRIP. IM NOT EVEN HATTING . IM REALLY HAPPY FOR HIM , FOR REAL I AM. THAT SOUND WEIRD RIGHT? CAUSE I USE TO REALLY HAVE SO MUCH HATE ON MY BABYFATHER THAT I COULDNT YELL AT HIM WITHOUT CRYING. BUT I HAVE CHANGED ALOT AND ONLY FOR THE BETTER. I CANT BE MAD AT THE PERSON "WHO IS THE FATHER OF MY FIRST SON" FOREVER. LIFE GOES ON AND ITS TOO DAM SHORT TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE FOR SO LONG CAUSE ONE DAY YOU CAN WAKE UP AND THAT PERSON CAN BE COMPLETELY GONE (LIKE DEAD OR FAR AWAY) AND THAN YOU WILL FEEL REALLY SORRY THAT YOU WAS EVEN MAD AT THE PERSON.

SO LIVE AND LOVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO REGRETS. PARTY HARD AND ALL THAT SHIT!!! LOL CAUSE YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE SO WHY NOT LIVE IT UP?

P.S
-LOL AGAIN JUST IN CASE YALL WAS WONDER "WELL DO HE HAVE OUR SON NAME TATTED ON HIM?" YES HE HAS OUR SON NAME TATTED ON HIM....AND YES HE GOT OUR SON NAME WAY BEFORE HE GOT HER NAME ON HIM...!!!

IM OUT OFF TO READ SOME OF YALL BLOGS SMOOCHES!!!

He Lying

2008-12-19T11:28:00.005-05:00

I GOT THIS DUDE AIM SCREEN NAME OUT A CHATROOM. SO I DECIDED TO PM(PRIVATE MESSAGE) HIM CAUSE I WAS GETTING CONFUSED IN THE CHATROOM {EVERYBODY TALKING AT ONCE AND SHIT} AND HE WAS TALKING TO ME IN THERE. IF YOU BE IN CHATROOMS FROM YA SIDEKICK THAN YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS DUDE TOLD ME HE WAS 20??? NOW LOOK AT THOSE PICTURES ABOVE. DO HE LOOK FUCKING 20????. TO ME HE LOOK FUCKING 30 OR MAYBE 40. LIKE HOW THE FUCK CAN HE LIE LIKE THAT??????...AND ON TOP OF THAT HE IS FUCKING UGLY. WELL THATS JUST MY OPINION, MAYBE OTHERS THINK HE IS SEXY..BUT DAM HE UGLY AND A LIAR. NOT GOOD AT ALL...

NOW HERE IS THE AIM CONVO WE HAD....

---------------------------------------- 10:46 am ----------------------------------------
ME: Wasssup
swaggablood: You got me first
swaggablood: I was about to pm you
ME: Ooo0
ME: Awww
---------------------------------------- 10:51 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: You got pics
ME: Yea
ME: Ladii50swaggin@tmail.com
swaggablood: Take ya away off
swaggablood: Sent
swaggablood: Sent
swaggablood: Swaggaallday@tmail.com
ME: Naw im going to sleep
swaggablood: You got them yet
ME: Naw
---------------------------------------- 11:02 am ----------------------------------------
ME: How old r u?
swaggablood: 20
swaggablood: And you
ME: Ya lying
swaggablood: 1989 oct 7
ME: U look madddddddddddddddddddddddd old
swaggablood: Why I gotta lie 4
swaggablood: Ruff life
swaggablood: How old r you
ME: Uh huh
ME: 20
swaggablood: And you look like you're 17
ME: U look 40
ME: Its good I look young
swaggablood: Wooooooooooow that hurt
ME: Im sorry but seriously u really 20?
swaggablood: Yes
ME: Ok
swaggablood: Fighting all my life group homes jail
ME: Wow...
swaggablood: Yea I know
ME: Ok
---------------------------------------- 11:13 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: But your pic are sexy and nice
---------------------------------------- 11:15 am ----------------------------------------
ME: Ya still lying
ME: Thankx
swaggablood: How you figure
ME: Cuz u cant be born in 1989
ME: @ 20
swaggablood: Huh
ME: Nothing....
ME: Forget
swaggablood: Jump year
ME: Later...
swaggablood: If you feel that way that's how you feel
ME: Ok
swaggablood: We can be peoples on aim
ME: I dont converstate wit liars!
swaggablood: Here you go again
ME: Yes I really believe ur lying to me. Ok u say u have no reason to lie but I dam sure wasnt born last night...& wtf is a jump year?
---------------------------------------- 11:23 am ----------------------------------------
swaggablood: Leap year
ME: Wow u a major liar....dammm shawttii leap year is in FEb...& u said ur bday in Oct..ya not a good liar at all...
swaggablood: The who year gets push up didn't you go to school
ME: Yea I went to school....but u just dont sound right.....LIAR!
ME: Goodday!
ME: Bye bye
swaggablood: What ever

NOW CAN YALL BELIEVE THAT SHIT?????......HE IS SUCH A DAM LIAR!!!!!

The way it is

2008-12-16T22:36:00.007-05:00

*The Way It Is* I love that reality show and I must watch it everytime it comes on. Even if I already saw a certain episode I will watch it again. YUP imma fein. This show is very emotional, shit be having me in tears half the dam time. For real. Keyshia Cole is the real deal for real because it took alot for her to put her life on the air like that because she proballii knows that its alot of people that go through the samethings as her and her family go through. People can learn alot from that show believe it or not. Its true though....

Now lets talk about the fucking asshead dude that pissed me off while I was watching *The way it is*

My *Available status on aim* said *YAY Keyshia Cole the way it is show is on...so u already know im watching it LoL... Why Neffe got on so much of lip gloss?*........and this asshead dude hits me up (by the way he calls his self YG)..but I call him Bitch or asshead sometimes...

YG:Wat u doin

I ignored him when he said that, so 3 minutes later

YG:H3llO
ME:Doesnt it say wat im doin in my available
YG:How u know I read dat

first off how the fuck he not see it when he go to send me a AIM, his lying ass

ME:Ok
YG:Cuz she a crac head

I assumed he was answering the question in my aim status "Why Neffe got on so much lip gloss?"

ME:No she not watch your mouth
ME:Just because her mom was a crack head doesnt mean she was one

I meant to say "doesnt mean she is one" but he got what I meant I guess

YG:O well dat whole fam nuts
ME:Naw Naw
YG:Yea Yea
YG:Wit all dem kid she a hoe
YG:U heard

Yes it pissed me off that he called Neffe a hoe.

ME:No she not a hoe cuz all her girls got the same father and her son got a different father, maybe if her ex husband(Daughter's Father) would of never cheated maybe her son would of been his.
ME:U gon stop dissin my fam bam

No they not really my family...lol I dont even know wat made me say that

YG:BlAh
YG:BlAh
YG:Dey getting paid off a TV show 4 having a fucced up fam lol

I thought that was very mean of him to say...dont yall think that was mean?

ME:Shut up im not talking to u until 2m leave me alone u piss me off
YG:Wat u gonna do really tho

WTF the fuck he mean what imma do???

ME:U pissing me off.....shut up dam

Well after that last Aim I sent, he finally shut up..THank god..But yeah I kinda think its really mean when people just come out of nowhere and say somebody a crackhead just because somebody else in the person family is or was one. Thats not nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So what if Neffe or Frankie or whoever else in Keyshia Cole's family acts krazy or whatever thats them and who they are if people cant expect them for who they are than so thats on them people because Neffe and whoever else will always be themselves. You dont have to be a Crack head to be KRAZY!!!.... People are people and they can act how the fuck they want.Right??. You cant change people remember that.....

And by YG calling her a hoe just uggggghhh got to me because if he feels she is a hoe why he even watching the show?? He must like her right?? And Why the fuck he even worried??

NIGGAHS JUST DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO SAY OUT THEY MOUTH...

Anyways...That Keyshia's show will always be my favorite, Imma get the DVD too, hopefully somebody buy it for me..lol

Yoooooooooo Keyshia Cole album is off the hook I was listening to it today on her myspace page..Im about to download the album on Ares for $0.00...
Keyshia Cole is a very pretty Lady *No Homo*...She's my Idol...

Im out SmoOchEs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Me

2008-12-15T09:51:00.008-05:00

I have changed my cell number, my aim & my tmail. Im planinng on changing alot of more shit too, but I just dont know what else to change. LoL Maybe my hair. Any ideas on what I should change?? I figured I changed my number cause I have men stalkers and I dont want them two bitches I speaked about in my last post to have my cell number anymore, they can just keep the house number it aint like imma answer the phone for them anyways maybe my mom will and she will cuss them out.I know yall like so what the fuck you changed your number??? lol well I always wanted to change my number cause of stalkers(like Ex boyfriends) but never got around to it or whatever so I decided to change it yesterday. Shit somethings need to change. Im leaving the past in the past. I deleted those bitches off my myspace firends list too. Im moving foward they can say what they want,think what they want I DONT GIVE A FUCK...

Oh I changed my tmail cause I got tired of the old one and wanted something new and I changed my aim cause those stalking bitches and niggahs.

Anyways I havent gotten a letter from chris yet, I really think they playing with his dam mail. I hope he got my letters already cause I mailed them like a week ago. *Prison is no where I wanna go* unless I really have to, never know somebody just might really really really piss me off one of these days and I might go to jail for really fucking them up. LoL....Im krazii I know, yall dont have to tell me.

See I admit to myself being kinda krazii sometimes cause Im just that real. Im not ashamed of nothing. I can meet you in one day and just might fart in front of you and say *ewww my bad* lol. I just dont care thats just the way I am. NO SHAME...and Nobody should be ashamed of nothing they do or say because people should be able to accept who you are and if they cant do that than fuck them.

..................

How was yall weekend??? Mines was okay I guess

Awww look at this picture of my son and niece arent they kute??? I just love these kids.....My niece kinda reminds me of myself in that picture. I dont know why but she just do. My mom says she act just like me at times. So sometimes I be like "I act like that??". LoL Cause my niece is off the hook ,mad fresh and grown with a big attitude. Now I know forsho she got that attitude from me. Me and her be fighting and aruging. She be the one crying at the end and saying "sorry auntie but..." There is always a *but* after cause she know she did wrong. I love her with all my heart and I always tell her she can tell me anything cause she really can. And she just turned 8 shit she better tell me every got dam thing. LMAO!

Well thats it for this post....

P.S ..............................
If you want my new aim s/n and dont already have it just drop your s/n here cause Im not posting my new s/n up on here I dont think......NOPE my new aim wont go up here. And if you want my new tmail address its on the side of my page somewhere on the right side. Just look for it..lol

Why Me?

2008-12-10T23:37:00.002-05:00

Dam that Smirroff *Green apple* Ice I just had was so tastey!! LoL
~~~~~

My Son's godmother been ignoring me for a couple of days well lets say weeks. I guess she isnt talking to me nomore. But check this out me & her havent had a arguement. So im completely lost on why she ignoring me. I even asked her when she coming to see LiL man she ignored that question. I asked her why she ignoring me she ignored that question also. Like I really dont understand. Like if I did something wrong or some shit which I know I really didnt why cant she be a adult and tell me whats up?? We both adults. She acting childish to me. And guess what im tired of kissing that bitch ass. Fuck her. But I feel she dissing my son because she is his godmother and she dont even ask if he breathing..You know what im not gonna even sweat it. This why I say I hate females cause shit like this. I rather be to myself with no friends. Feel me?

But enough talking abt that dumb ass bitch..

Why the hell Jay texted me today out of no where??...That niggah is just dumb to me...

Him::u wanna eat?

Me::yessssir

Him::well im downstairs how long u gon be?

Me::2O minutes

Him::wow I thought u was dressed already being that u take lil man to daycare in the morning so I guess 2m we can go

Me:: yea I was but I took my clothes off

Him::well I'll hit u up 2m im not waiting for u

Me::ur mean

Him::lol im not mean just keeping it real

Okayyyyyy why in the hell would he text me when he downstairs instead of letting me know when he on his way that he gon take me to get something to eat so I can be ready. Wouldnt that have made sense?? Fuck that niggah he dead ass be wasting my time. That just made me upset cause I was really was hungry lol. Naw but seriously I was. Jay is such a dumb ass for real.....well aleast I think that.

Moving on....~~~~~~~~~~

I kept twisting and turning last night in my bed couldnt sleep so I started thinking about my past and what could be in store for next year and out of no where my dam phone starts ringing *make love in this club* guess who it was?? One of My EX's calling. Can u believe it?? Im like hello what in the hell. He talking about he want me to have his baby & that I know my son was suppose to be his. At first I laughed at him & than I relaized that he was dead ass serious. So I said *your krazii* cause for real he sound krazii and I see he still in love with me or something. Its a reason why he is my EX so I dont know why he asking me to have his baby. *shaking my head* at HIM. Dam he still stuck on me after all these years. WHAT A SHAME! ....well that sucks to be his ass he better just move the hell on cause I aint having his dam baby...

What the hell is wrong with niggahs now a days???

Some niggah on my aim buddy list right? He always hitting me up talking about he want to eat some pussy. So I be like well go eat some. *Can I eat yours??* can you believe he asked me that???. Like what the fuck wrong with him I told him *HELL NO*. He dumb I bet he going around asking females can he eat them out and some of them proballii say yes. *shaking me head*
~~~~~~

Dam smirroff ice got me feeling a little tipsy....whoop whoop

Well thats it for this post smooches!!

Omg

2008-12-07T17:00:00.006-05:00

Okay I had a good visit seeing Chris. But I just kept saying OMG!..Yes I was very moody cause I see my friend wanted to be a tag along so my mood swings were krazii if you know what I mean.

I arrived to the prison at 7:15am saturday morning. Got there they ask " am I there for a regular visit or event?" so of cousre I said "event". So I filled out the paper for the stupid event what so ever and gave it back to them so they can check to see if my name was on the list.Than at 8:15am they wanna fucking tell me I gotta have a regular visit cause Mr. Chris is a BOX inmate(they send inmates there when they fight or something) So in my mind im like "WHY THE FUCK YALL AINT TELL ME THIS TO BEGIN WITH". Im like ok whatever so I had to fill out the regular visit paper which was the same as the event visit paper. Really dont make any sense all they had to do was cross out *event* and write *regular* over it but no instead they made me fill out the paper all over again. SMH. Was I mad??? hell fucking yeah. Than the fucking C.O had the nerve to say *sorry miss*. So im having a out burst in my head im like *WHAT THE FUCK I HATE THIS PRISON THEY NEVER KNOW SHIT UNTIL THEY TYPE HIS NAME IN THE DAM COMPUTER WHEN THEY SUPPOSE TO ALREADY HAVE THE SHIT WRITTEN ON PAPER* ...Yes I was highly upset as you can see.Than I kinda calmed down when it was time to go into the visiting area. Get to the visiting room *desk* give them the dam paper and the C.O asks how tall I am???(guess he was tryna make a joke but I wasnt laughing I look mad as hell). Im saying to myself *WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY VISIT???? *I respond *im 4'9* and Went to the assigned seat they gave me.

Finally Chris gets to the Visting room and the C.O tell him the rules. This the shit that makes me mad WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO DAM LOUD???. Is it needed for him to be yelling the dam rules at him??...HELL NO. Well aleast I dont think so. Tryna embrassing inmates in front of they family and shit. So un fucking kool. Okay Chris hugs me or whatever and he says "baby I need you to sit across from me cause they feining hard" So I sat across from him which I knew I would have to Cause the chair was across from him but when I first got there I moved the chair next to his chair just to try the luck. But no luck thanks to the dickhead C.O. I had to move the chair back to where it was "across from him" In front of him with the dam table in between us.....SUCKS LIKE SHIT!!!!!.....

My stomach was hurting I was just saying OMG. I started crying and shit. Chris was explaining to me why he in the box. The C.O set him up by putting a razor on him. Dumb ass C.O's I swear. They sending his mail out late and shit. REading it too. They know he have a possiblity of coming home so they want to fuck it up by throwing shit in his locker or whatever. Thats a dam shame. They so fucked up. OMFG I HATE CORRECTION OFFICERS. Chris was unable to find out when he come home cause they put him in the box so they said wait to see if he beat the ticket. In other words wait to see when monday comes to see if the razor was really his or not. Which I believe wasnt his. Come on I dont think Chris will have a razor on him or what so ever when he be crying to come home and shit. SMH...Man C.O's are grimey.

Well I was suppose to blog saturday night when I got home but guess what I aint get home until this morning at 12:41am cause of the dam bus door broke. SMH so sad..You should of saw how upset I was but glad I got home when I did cause it could of been later than that....

Well when I find out when Chris coming the hell home I will let yall know forsho..

OMG free is what he need!!!

This it for this post. Im out Smooches!!!

Time Flys

2008-12-04T18:30:00.005-05:00

Yes I put box braids back in my hair. LoL I just couldnt help it. I got tired of my regular hair. Yeah I get tired of it pretty fast. Wonder how long I keep these braids in. Proballii more than two weeks I know that Cause I love when my hair red and black instead of just plain ol black.

Wow I cant believe its December already. Feels like I clapped my hands and November just disappeared. I cant believe it. Dam time need to slow down.

I havent heard from Chris yet since I wrote that last post so I dont know whether he coming home in April or not. But when I find out I will be sure to let yall know whats up. Well Im leaving to go see him on saturday morning around 1:00am so I would know whats up and I will do another post saturday night when I come back. Ok? Hopefully they letting him come home in April for real.

Right now Im feeling so sick I keep runing back and fourth to the bathroom. OMG I cant take this. This morning I throw up. Just ughhh...I know TMI(too much info) lol well sorry. This morning I took lil man to school and back in my bed I went until it was time for me to pick him up. I dont like being sick and Im pretty sure nobody else does. Shit sucks. Hope I feel better tomorrow though. Its krazii cause I aint have my Tv on all I just turned it on when I came back from getting lil man. I aint wanna move today I just felt so lazy and weak.

Do yall remember back in a few posts I talked about a dude name *Jay*. Well guess what??...his ass texted me today. He said: *yo what up how u?* I started to say *my name aint fucking yo now beat it*,But I just replied *Im good* and than after that he aint text back. I hope he wasnt waiting for me to ask how he doing cause I honestly dont give two shits how he doing. Im mean I just cant help it. LoL.

Im hoping this month be as good as last month. Cause I had a ball last month. Well this month I proballii have a ball to cause Christmas Hoilday. I love that hoilday. Just seeing people face expressions when they open the gift I got them brightens up my day. Already did my Christmas shopping on tuesday. Hopefully I get some nice gifts on christmas.

Im still stuck in a deep gaze because before you know it its gonna be 2009. WOAH Time is really really really flying. Dam....

Well this it for this post cause im tired of typing now...Smooches!!

Depressing

2008-11-30T23:20:00.004-05:00

I have just gotten off the phone with Chirs not too long ago. I cried. Sometimes I get the *cries* when I hear his voice cause I just want him near me. Its Sad. Im missing him like krazii. Really in need of him. **TEARS**

Well Chris is suppose to be coming home next year*2009* in April sometime. On Dec 2nd ((which is Tuesday)) is when he go to see the people who determine if he come home next year April or not. He says he is nervous...Well shit im more nervous for him(I aint tell him that) thats another reason why I was crying on the phone with him.

All sorts of questions was popping up in my head like......What if he have to do more time??, Will I still hold him down??.......

Im praying and hoping they let him come home in April cause to tell yall the truth I dont know what the fuck I would do if they give him more years. LOSE MY DAM MIND probalii..

Dam its krazii I dont even know what else to say right now. I cant even cry nomore tears because I cried them all out. Just being strong and patiently waiting for Tuesday to get here. I dont want to be with nobody else but him. Yes the love I have for him is that strong. I couldnt even imagine myself with the next niggah.

I dont think I have nothing else to say in this post cause im deep thinking about Chris and wondering about the the good or bad news I might get on tuesday....

Thankful & Happy

2008-11-29T13:08:00.005-05:00

My Thanksgiving was popping. Had so many plates I lost counts. LoL I was being greedy cause the food was banging shit....How was yall Thanksgiving?????...Good I hope...

I was so happy & thankful on thangsgiving it was amazing....

Im Thankful for.................

First.....My Mom & Dad (Rest in peace Daddy) Wish he could of been here for thangsgiving.
I love my parents without them I wouldnt be here today.

Second............My Pride and joy, the reason I breathe My LiL MaN Daquan. I love him more than anything and anybody in this world. More than life itself...

And Im also thankful and happy to have my family and my true friends in my life. Without them being there for me I dont know what I would do. I love them all, they are the best!!!

So what are yall thankful for??

Well thats it for this blog pretty short huh??? lol I know...

Feeling GoOd

2008-11-26T02:00:00.008-05:00

So yesterday after I wrote that post *Ughh Tuesday* or whatever. I decided to take my braids out. Only had them in for 10 days but I just felt that my hair needed to breath and be washed. Now my hair feels OMG great like I just relieved mad stress. Kinda feel brand new. Here it is 2:05am and Im still up. I guess cause I just got finished blow drying my hair. Heyyyy do yall like the picture above???. LoL well its okay to me. Yeah thats how my hair look now after being washed and blowed dryed. Yes I did all that myself. Even took out my own braids....

Anyways Wild 'N Out is on right now. Its kinda funni but I think they are RERUNS. Not sure though. Cause I only watch this once in a blue moon......

Dam Im really missing Chris, Im suppose to be going to a christmas event at the prison on Dec 6th. Hopefully I get money before than and go christmas shopping and be able to pay my carfare to go see him. Im praying I do cause I really need to tell him some shit face to face and I dont think writting it in a letter is the best way. I would tell yall about it but I cant its personal and doesnt have anything to do with me. And I dont like to talk about other peoples personals unless they say so or it involves me. Yall understand right????...................GoOd!!

Okay moving along............

Who watches that new reality show called Brothers to Brutha? It comes on right after Keyshia Coles reality show which I love so much. WEll anyways that Brothers to Brutha show is kinda too REALITY LoL.They be fighting,crying and shit. Yesterday that show brought tears to my eyes seriously cause the brothers was expressing how they feel to their father and they started crying and so did I. Yeah once again if you aint know IM EMOTIONAL.

I think im getting sleepy so imma end this post here!!

Question:::::Was this a long or short post to yall??

Ughh Tuesday

2008-11-25T19:26:00.008-05:00

Today seem so lame and boring as hell. It was just one of those *UGHHHH days* For real it was.

This morning I woke up like What the Fuck cause I looked out the window and It was raining. And today just was the day my LiL MaN had his Clinic/doctor apointment. Well his appointment was for 1:30 pm. So as Im waiting for time to hit around 12noon Im thinking in my head *Hope it stop raining cause my lil man has no plastic for his stroller*.

Okay 11:30am hits and my momz comes to me and says "I be back". MIND YOU she has to give me money to take LiL MaN to the clinic. So I say okay where you going? Do you think you be back before 12:30? She answers "Yeah I should be Im going arcoss the street to fine fare(Supermarket) and if not you just come get the $4 for the metro card". She could of just gave me the $4 than but she claimed she had to get it from the ATM so im like okay whatever fits.

So around 12noon I start getting me and LiL Man dressed and ready. I dont live far from the clinic its only two stops away on the train but I need a etra 10 mintes to walk to the train. Sooooooo I was done getting us ready at 1pm, Momz still wasnt back from the supermarket. I headed out and thank god she was down stairs in front of the building talking on her dam pay as you go cell phone. LoL. Thank god its wasnt raining at that time so I Scooped up the $4 and was on my way to the clinic well thats what I thought at that momment.

I gets down the block from my house and I realized I left his dam IMMUNIZATION book in the dam house. Called up my mom and said bring me his Immunization book down stairs and started walking back towards my house. So my moms friend comes downstairs with MY(not quans) immunzation book. Im looking at it and than say I told her QUANS not mines(so he took it back to my moms). LoL so ya know I called my mom like WTF are you okay? I said Quans book not mines. She like "well shit latoya you said immunzation book im tired". So I explained LOUDER now." QUANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN immunzation book". And she goes "ok" . I guess she wasnt focus cause she just came from food shopping and was tired. All I could do was laugh at her. Ok mom friends comes back down with Quan book and a unbrella shoot how ever you spell the shit.

I started walking back towards the train station and it starts drizzling. IM like "omg Quan you have no plastic poor baby so keep this blanket on you ok". LoL he gave me a look like "you talking to me ? yeah ok ma"...Thankx god it wasnt rainging hard cause he would of been soaked and wet and I would of been highly upset. I have to get him a plastic for his stroller ASAP.

Well I got to the clinic at 1:41..Just a few minutes late. They never call you on your exactly appoinment time anyways. Which really sucks for real. I really dislike that too. Whats the use of having a time if they not gon see you on that time?? get what im saying??..Took them forever to call him so he can get weighted and measure by the nurse. Than had to be called by the doctor which that took extra longer. "UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" just kept saying that the whole time in that clinic and plus I was hungry too. Quan ate before we left home but not me.

Kids was just runining around crying and shit and Quan was just staring at them like WTF. I was saying in my head "Quan you better not act up"....But after a hour sitting in there he started getting cranky and wanting to cry. Finally the doctor calls his name. "About time" I said. Goes to the doctors room and Quan start being bad in there touching shit "omg just ughhhhh" I said stop and popped him about 3 or 4 times but nope he still kept doing it . So I strapped him right in his stroller. LoL that aint work either. So I yelled stop one good time and he looked at me with a "shy face"...like I hurt his feelings or something. Than he wanted to sit on my lap....lol

After coming out the doctors lil room or office or whatever you wanna call the crap. We had to wait again for the nurse to give him a FLU shot...just "ughhhhhhhhhhhhh". I guess cause I was hungry I was kinda moody. Well IDK......

Well after another 15 minutes passed the nurse calls him and gives him his shot which mad my dam baby cry awwwww and off to make another appointment( for when he turn 2) at the desk which took another 10 minutes. OMG at this time I wanted to cry cause I was so hungry.....LOL my greedy as I knowssssssssssssss.....

Finally back home made me two eggs and cheese sandwiches and those shits was banging frizzle fucking good. Of course I shared with Quan who doesnt like bread so I had to give him some eggs out the sandwich. lol but I kept tryna make him bite the sandwich but he kept spitting the bread out. He makes this weird face when eatting bread...Like its yuck. lol its only bread...

Well imma end this blog with some pictures

I just love taking pictures of my lil man he is just so handsome. I love me some him!! yup yup!!

Ex Boyfriends

2008-11-25T00:36:00.007-05:00

First off I really dont understand them. For Real I dont. Isnt it a reason why they get the title *EX BOYFRIEND*??? Yes its a reason.....Why do they seem to wanna come back in your life some how or some way??? OMG!!!!

So Okay I have this EX BOYFRIEND right. His name is Duke but I call him Dukiie. LOL kinda sounds nasty. I knowssssss. But anyways its like he is mad at me cause I have moved on but I dont understand why he mad. When me & him was together I had fallen in love with him like WOAH. Use to tell him I love him and shit and his response use to always be *AWWWW* like on some tryna play me type shit. So I felt he basically left me hanging.

So hell yeah I moved on. And now all of a sudden he wanna confess to me on how he love me and always loved me just didnt want to tell me cause he was afriad of getting heart broken and shit like that. I DONT UNDERSTAND, Or maybe I do understand just a little.

If that was the case why he just didnt be real with me and tell me that when I first told him I loved him. That would of probalii helped alot cause we probalii could still be together but nope he messed it all up by making me feel like shit.

Now he tryna make me feel bad or whatever. So I apoligized to him from the kindness of my heart cause he feels hurt that I moved on. But I see it like this it was all his doing. He left me hanging all the times I expressed myself to him all I ever got was a frizzle fucking *AWWWWW*and that made me feel like I wasnt worth his time or what so ever . So my heart told me to move on so thats what the frizzle fuck I did. I always listen to my heart no matter what cause sometimes your mind play tricks on you. Get what im saying??

The part that got me is that when me and him was together we NEVER I mean NEVER kissed but we had SEX. To me that felt strange cause he never even attemped to kiss me But I did kiss him on his cheeks a couple of times to give him a hint that I wanted our lips to meet but nope it never happened. NO tongue action NO NOTHING but straight up SEX. Dont get the wrong idea the SEX was popping NO LIE. I liked it.

Im willing to be friends with Dukiie but this whole him wanting me back aint gon happen. DEAD ASS! If he dont want to be my friend than I dont know what else to tell him and Im dam sure aint gon stress it. Feel me?

*Its somebody out there for everybody* So he better move on and find that somebody. Not tryna sound cold hearted or anything like that but its life. I still got love for shawttii but not that relationship type LOVE. Yall should get what Im saying.....

P.S............

Frizzle---Oh thats just some weird word I made up...LMAO dont mind me I come up with some weird words sometimes......

Oh Yeah before yall go I want yall to check out my Besite Tasha Blog page she just joined.....She need readers!!

Update

2008-11-22T22:41:00.009-05:00

Hey Everyone..

Missed me from posting??. Well maybe not cause I havent been nowhere. I just been reading and commenting people blogs. Just aint been writting none of my own. Ya see? And if I havent read some of yall NEW blogs dont worry im getting around to it. Trust me. Cause I love to read.

At this moment Im just missing my lil man Quan he been gone since Thrusday (11-20-08) yeah he went with his daddy than his daddy let him go with his grandfather so he's with his grandfather right now he be back tomorrow..UGGGHHH I really miss him. Thrusday he took School(DAycare) Pictures. He looked so handsome. He was kinda shy too when the lady was talking to him. AWWWW thats my baby. Well when the pictures come back I will post them up here.

Here are some pictures from thrusday when we were at the daycare center.

*LoL he look like he about to fall in this picture*
*Yup kisses to my LiL Man* *Me and My BAbyfather..He wanted to take this picture but as you can see I really didnt mind lol (Proud Parents of LiL MaN)*

Anyways enough with the pictures.....

Its fucking brick outside (Brooklyn, NY)...Dam I use to like the winter time but now I dont think I like it anymore. The coldness makes me sleepy but dam why it gotta be sooooooooooooo cold???..I rather summer than this cold shit. For real. Today I went outside once too many times when I told myself I wasnt going outside. Shame on me!!!!!!!!!. My mama always want me go somewhere for her like I got a fucking car or some shit. WHAT THE FUCK. While she sit in the house and do nothing. But since I had a good long nap today and when I woke up I was kinda bored so I went to my aunt and sister house's for some food so that my mama can cook it on thanksgiving. Out of the kindness of my heart cause I could of told her "hell no go yourself" which I really wanted to but I knew that wouldnt be nice and plus I wanna eat on thanksgiving. Than after coming from my aunt and sister house's came back in the house and dropped the food off than had to go back out in the cold to go to the store...YES so thats why I say I been outside once too many times...................

Thank god Thanksgiving almost here cause IM HUNGRY for some TURKEY!!!

Than comes Christmas, next New Years.......................Watch how time flys!!!

Time already go by fast. Half the dam time I cant remember what the hell I did the day before or something like that. SHit Time need to slow down. Before I know it my LiL MaN Qaun gon be 18.......LoLWith his bad ass. Telling people "Leave me alone*, *stop*, *no*, *mine*, *give me*, and his favorite word is *HUH*when you call him. And sometimes he would just be so fucking stubborn when you call him he would just stand there and say *HUH NO*. bAd ass right? Thats why I be popping his lil ass. I dont play that......Glad he knows how to say *thank you* when something is giving to him though. I teach him to have manners at all times. Yup cause I know some parents and they kids have no dam manners. I be like OMG WHAT THE FUCK SAY THANK YOU DAM.......................

Ending this blog cause I have to read others and plus im watching *Dairy of a mad black woman* Whoop Whoop this is one of my favorite movies.

Quote::*Never let a man pay for another mans mistake*
~If you watched Dairy of a mad black woman than you know what I mean by the quote~

Thoughtful Day

2008-11-16T22:19:00.008-05:00

Yup thats me in that picture above what you think??. I know yall proballii like didnt I just cut my bangs??. LOL yup and now im back on my Box Braids shit. I dont really like having my hair out in the winter time. Why wear it out when the wind gon just mess it up and have it blowing every dam where ??. Cause shit I dont like wearing hats. LMAO! I only wear them sometimes or maybe I would where a scarf.

Well moving on to.........................

Today wasnt a good day for me at all and still isnt. I only went outside once today and that was to go mail Chris letter. Than I come back home from the mailbox and momz talking about she want me to go to the store. I looked at her like she was fucking krazy cause why didnt she tell me go to the store while I was out there??. Sometimes she just dont use her dam brain at all. Did I go to the store for her? Hell no and plus it was too dam cold for me to go back out there. Winter is really here. I got so much on my mind. I caught myself in a deep day dream today. I was day dreaming about all the times I had with my father (r.i.p daddy). I miss him so much. Its so hard at times you cant even imagine.

It seemed so long today. I guess cause I aint have nothing to do. Sucks to be me on sundays.
You ever sit and think about your pass and the things you wish you could of changed?? Well I think about my pass sometimes. I try paying attention focusing on my future but sometimes I just get stuck and start thinking about my pass and shit. Like my babyfather(he's doing good by our son now) for example. Today I was thinking about him. A question popped up in my head for him but I dont want to make it seem like I want him back or anything like that cause I dont. Its just a question that need to be answered I think or maybe im over reacting. Shit I dont know whats wrong with me. All I really want to know "was it worth us breaking up??"

So you know I went and hit my babyfather up on aim without even thinking about how he can hurt my feelings cause he very good at that shit. What the hell!

Me-I gotta ask u something

Him-yea

Me-was it worth us being apart? just curious

Him-yea

Me-for real

Him-i guess so

Me-wat u mean u guess so?

Him-idk

Me-oh ok y u think it was worth it?

Him-idk

Me-wat do u know

Him-cuz it made us breathe

Me-really

Him-yea

Me-y it made us breathe?

Him-We was around each other 2 mucc

Glad he answered my Question though. That niggah aint the same person like when we first met. He changed alot. So much I dont know who he is anymore. One minute he act like a nice guy and next minute he a mean guy. Not the innocent guy I once knew. But oh well long as he doing for our son now like he was suppose to been doing long time ago I dont care how he act. LoL

Anteeways..................................................

I also thought about my FIRST today. Yes the Niggah I lost my virginity too. His name is Leon. Its just krazy. Cause when I lost my virginity to him,I was already in a relationship with somebody else. But he didnt know that so me and Leon became a couple also. Guess you can say I was tryna be a player. Shoot I was young I aint no any better. What made me lose it to Leon? Cause like in my eyes he was that niggah for me for real he was. He was always around me and treated me like a lady. He is related to my bestfriend. So yeah thats pretty much why he was always around. So one day the shit just happened. I was 15 when I lost my virginity. And it dam sure felt good LOL. Why so young? Shit I dont know I was horny and hated the feeling so I had to do the dam thing. Now lets get to the other dude that I was in a relationship with at the time when I lost my virginity. Aint gon put his name out there so imma just call him "Lame"but his ass was always on lock down need a say more??. So my ass fell for Leon even more cause he showed me more attention. Krazy part is they ended up finding out about each other. Yup. Cause Lame popped up on my block while I was with Leon. And my ass ran. LMAO thats not funni though. So I ran behind my momz and she like why you running than she saw why I was running. Yeah she knew I was tryna be a player. But I should not have ran cause they ended up sitting right next to each other and thats how my dumb ass got caught. Did my mom know I lost my virginity at that time? Nope I aint tell her into I felt like it. I told her when I turned 17 and she was kinda mad and wonder why I aint tell her when it happened. Shoot so she can kill me lol I was only 15. Anteeways back to what I was saying...................

Yes I was in relationship with both of them(Leon and Lame) and I had to let one of them go and that person I let go was Leon. And than evenutally me and Lame broke up too. I learned a lesson out of all of that. Shit I was tryna be a player but aint know what the hell I was doing. But I do know one thing I should of stayed with Leon not only cause I lost my virginity to him but cause we had something special and I should of not cheated on Lame I should of just broke up with him thats all even though I loved him.Truth be told I loved both Lame And Leon. Some people say you cant love two people. But Yes you can cause I dam sure did.I loved Leon cause he was always there for me and treated me like a lady and I loved Lame because he had a good mind and personality. So why did I cheat on Lame?? Shit I dont know I was young and dumb minded and it seemed like me and him wasnt gon never do the dam thing anyteeways cause of his dam father with the lock down shit but I should of still waited right? YUP. Dam I fucked up. But aleast I can admit to it.

As I type this im talking to Leon now. krazy right? . I said sorry for hurting him and he says he forgives me but I know he will never forget that day cause I know I cant. I caught myself crying a couple of times cause I felt bad cause I hurt him and he really did love me and I loved him too. And Lame I hurt him too by cheating on him and he loved me deeply but well shit happens and people make mistakes. Lesson Learned "dont be a player if you dont know how". Yes me and lame still keep in contact also.

Imma end this blog here cause I dont want to go too deep into my pass. Feel me? and plus I wanna talk to Leon. LoL Im responding to him on aim like every two to four minutes cause im typing this blog..

SMOOCHES!!!

Cant tell me shit

2008-11-13T19:06:00.007-05:00

AS SOME OF YALL MAY KNOW I TURNED THE BIG 2O YESTERDAY WHICH WAS NOV 12TH. I HAD A LIL DINNER/PARTY IT WAS SO POPPING. I LOVED IT! IT WAS A VERY WONDERFUL DAY. I WAS FUCKING TWISTED OFF THAT GREY GOOSE & SOME OTHER SHIT MY MOMZ MADE. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF THOUGH. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM HYPE CAUSE IM 2O NOW. LOL CANT WAIT TO I HIT 21. BUT NAW I DONT WANT TIME TO GO TO FAST. IT FEELS GOOD NOT TO BE IN THE TEENS NOMORE. CANT NOBODY TELL ME SHIT. YA HEARD?? I HAD A GOOD BIRTHDAY THOUGH.

**THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES

*UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL*

*DIDNT I LOOK FLY?*

*LOL MY FEET WAS HURTING*

*I JUST HAD TO TAKE A FLICK IN THE HALLWAY HEHEHE*
WELL I GOT MORE PICTURES ON MY MYSPACE PAGE. YOU SHOULD GO CHECK THEM OUT AND COMMENT THEM TOO. LMAO THANKXXX. I HAD STUPID FUN ON MY BIRTHDAY THOUGH. YALL SHOULD OF BEEN THERE. WELL MAYBE NEXT TIME!

THIS IS IT FOR THIS BLOG!

NOW DONT FORGET TO COMMENT MY PICTURES ON MYSPACE..LMAO GESH I KNOW I KNOW IM FEENING! LOL JUST HYPE CAUSE I TURNED 2O!!!!

Life Changing

2008-11-08T23:43:00.006-05:00

Okay first off imma start with "Awww my lil man Quan went with his father yesterday(friday)". LoL he be back tomorrow(sunday) though. I miss him too!..Yup his Father is growing up being a man now. Wonder how long this will last though. Thank god though cause he needed to.

Anteeways....

Well I went and visited my man Chris. Had a great visit with him. Dam I miss him already. Just praying he come home soon. Yup I had to go see him before my birthday(Nov 12th). Well *OUR* birthday cause me and him got the same birthday. Which is in 4 days from now. AWW whoop whoop I cant wait.

I cant believe imma be the big 2O. Can you believe it?? Am I getting old??? Hell yeah Im getting old but shoot im still kute lol ok let me stop being conceited. I thank god for each one of these days. As days go by it seems like my life is changing but I just dont know how but it is. I can feel it. Maybe its cause im turning a different age this year. Well whatever it is. I feel myself changing. People are even changing the way they act towards me. I dont know why though. But its nothing cause I really dont need friends no ways all I need in this life is my LiL Man thats about it. I know who my real friends are and I know who arent my real friends. So if a niggah or bitch aint my friend at the end of the day, guess what ?? I still got my fucking son at the end of the day and thats all that matters to me.

Moving on...

For last couple of days I havent been reading anybodoy blogs or have I? (cant remember) well SORRY about that. Just been out of it. Shit on my mind tryna get on my grind with a job. Speaking of *job*. That UPS interview I had went well and it was hella long too. ShIIT!!. But I dont know if I got the job yet though. Well I will keep yall posted on that though. Something need to happen *like I hit the lottery* so I can start christmas shopping for my lil man. I love shopping for christmas for him. So fun! I sound like a kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now Im sitting here typing this shit bored out my mind HELP ME. Ughh this sucks. I feel like imma spaz on somebody just because I know I can and have a mouth to do so LoL . Naw but seriously. People just love pissing me off some how. I know they say *dont let people get to you* well I just cant help it. Cause if somebody say something or do some shit I dont like im gonna get upset. I just will stop talking to the person for mad long or just be mean to them every time they speak to me thats all. Common sense *dont do or say shit that will make someone mad*. So why do people piss me off if at the end they know imma be mad. I honestly think they do it on purpose.

*********************************

I demand respect feel me?

I see in this every day world that some people dont respect each other. Which I wonder why THOUGH? I respect those who respect me. I dont like when people come at me side ways or try to judge me based on my appearance or whatever. *Never judge a book by its cover* I always keep that quote in my mind. When people judge me I can always prove them wrong. Which makes them look so stupid in the long run.

well ending this blog here cause I have to go read yall blogs! SMOOCHES!!!!

These Days

2008-11-02T16:45:00.010-05:00

Yesterday was whack and so is today. Dam it really be boring now a days for me I guess cause I dont have a job which I really need. Well yesterday I went to the store and back in the house. Still kinda shakey about that Blood initiation which they was saying was suppose to go on all weekend. So yesterday I wasnt tryna go out my Hood (area). Feel me? So yup so I only went across the street and back in my dam house. I also applied for UPS seasonal job(Driver Helper), I have a interview on Wednesday. Hopefully I get the job. IM PRAYING I DO.

Well for these last couple of days I been having like so much on my mind. My mood swings been going krazy. I guess cause every hour somebody say or do something to piss me off. FUCK YO WHY THEY CANT PISS SOMEBODY ELSE OFF. Oops my bad for the out burst. LoL. Like I was saying I been thinking about alot like my life and my future and stuff like that. I wonder where imma be when I turn 25????. That question is always in my mind. Well hopefully I have a good ass job thatt pays very well and my own apartment and shit like that.

I aint tryna live with my mama forever. Hmmm that just aint gon work out. We dont always be on the same page and shit. And sometimes she just annoys me so much I be ready to pack up me and Quan shit and leave. But I always be like where imma go?? LoL. I could go to my sister house but no that wouldnt make any sense to me. Why move from somebody else apartment to move to another persons apartment when you can just get your own dam apartment right?? Cause basically if my sister annoys me or something like that(which I know she wouldnt do but im just saying) I will be ready to leave there too. So thats why I say it wouldnt make any sense to me. Well until I get a job and save up money to get my own apartment me and Quan is stuck in my mama house.

$219.55....Thats how much my phone bill is. Dam its alot to me cause I have no job. Well thats what happens when you let the bills pile up. Im surprise T-mobile aint turn my phone off yet. LoL Cause if you a T-mobile customer you know how they are. PLAY NO GAMES when they want they money. So yeah I didnt pay September's bill which was 119.18 and was due on October 13th, cause I aint have no money like always. My money went to all my son needs which is very good. Back of my mind was saying fuck T-mobile child comes first. So I asked my mom can she pay it or whatever but she didnt. So when my bill came for October($100.37) which is due November 13th they made sure they added the 119.18 to the bill. So thats how it all came to $219.55. LoL Your lost??? Let me break it down shorter than $100.37 plus $119.18 equals $219.55. If you still dont get it or whatever than I dont know what to tell you. LOL !!

Right now im just so bored not so much is on my mind now. Just wishing and praying I get a job soon. For real. Cause shoot im struggling. Tomorrow my uncle gotta give me some money so I can pay my bill and get some other stuff that I need. WHOOP WHOOP my birthday in 10 days I cant wait. Im having a dinner/party. Its gon be popping (wow I sound so hood saying the term *popping* LoL ) . You already know imma get drunk. Well im really feining for the food that my mama is going to cook for me and my friends. Shoot Im skinny I need food lol but my friends call me greedy. Naw I just love to eat thats all. When Im angry at a person and they bring me some food im all cheerful again LoL.

I cut my bangs today. Thank god cause they were pass my nose and I wasnt feeling that so I chopped them shits. And yes I cut them myself. I wasnt gon go to the hair salon or let somebody else do it. Cause what if they would of messed up?? I would of been so upset with them. So I decided if I do it myself I wouldnt mess up cause I would know how I want my bangs to look. And Guess what it came out nice. I love my bangs now.

**Here are some pictures that I took today**

Arent my bangs kute???..Well I think so
I kinda look sad in this picture below right?? . I dont know why though
Awww look at me and my LiL Man Quan..Without him I dont know where I would be!!
Thats it for this blog imma stop typing here cause I need some food in my system (greedy me I know LoL) and plus I wanna read some of yall blogs. SmOoChEs!!

Im brave

2008-11-01T01:07:00.004-04:00

WARNING::AS I TYPE THIS I AM DRUNK SO PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISSPELLED WORDS OR WHATEVER....

Well I guess you can say imma little brave cause I decided to go trick or treating after all. I was sitting in the house all day even cried cause I was so dam scared. Everytime I turned around I was getting a IM(aim) saying how many girls got stabbed up and shit. OMG it was so scary. Than im saying to myself if I go outside its like im putting my life on the line. So Im like you know what fuck it cause I want some dam candy and I want my son to have a fun halloween and im not tryna stay in this house. But a hour before I left my house I wrote this poem...

Title:My Halloween Poem

Scared to go outside wit just my son alone
So scared that I believe my life just can end over some bullshit
Scared to think that everything will be just fine cause I know it wont
Not only am I scared of wat could happen to me im also scared of wat can happen to others
Scared to stop my heart from shaking and crying
Never been this scared before
Im so scared I dont think I can even be brave and go trick or treatin
This blood initiation shit really got me shook
They giving themselves gifts for there birthday 2day and it is to see "woman bleed to death and die"
I cant be nothing else other than be SCARED.
They taking people, Sisters, Mothers, Grandmothers, and shit.
How can I not be scared when they taking innocent people lives
Im so scared I just wanna pack my shit and move somewhere so far away but never know if I do that I just might not make it as far as I wanna go cause of this blood initiation shit
So I end this note with some tears and a question "why they gotta hurt innocent people"??

What yall think of that poem?? Everything I spoke on was how I felt. When im scared I will never play like im brave and hard and shit

Back to what I was saying....hmmmm oh yeah well me, my son and my annoying mother all went trick or treating. It was okay I guess saw alot of people dressed up and shit like that. I was still scared when I got outside. I kept looking around. Yup I was playing close attention to my surroundings cause I was out there where it wasnt safe. Shoot no where you go is safe. Its krazy people all over the world so you never know where they at.

That blood initiation aint no joke I cant believe how shook(scared) I was to go outside. I even carryed a little box cutter with me like that shit would of did something but it would of been worth a try if a niggah would of jumped in my face or some shit.. Well as we was walking down this street in BK called court street the cops were flying by with they lights on so I already knew something had went wrong so I kinda got more scared. After we was done going store to store for candy we just got on the bus and went on to my aunt house and chilled for a few hours.

HAHA now you know the reason to how im drunk now. LOL cause my aunt had ALIZE at her house knowing ALIZE is my bestfriend LoL. I would drink that before I drink anything else. Hmmm You know I couldnt resist but to have a few cups of ALIZE haahah and now im drunk. All good though. Wow and I know I said I wasnt gon drink nomore until my birthday(the 12th). DAM well shoot that ALIZE bottle was calling my name. It was saying "toya you know you want me" lol. And I couldnt even front.

Imma end this blog here cause im still drunk and I need to sleep this shit off.
W3rd im out...**SmOoCheS**

Halloween Oh No

2008-10-31T10:02:00.005-04:00

First off I wanna say "Happy Halloween to everyone"

Today is not such a happy day for me. I didnt take my son to daycare because im too scared to even go outside because the BLOOD INITIATION. Yes im really scared. Even though this shit goes on every year and I was never scared before well shit I am now its 2008 shit change every year and plus they talking about it(blood initiation) on the news so I believe this shit is serious. Im not sure if imma take my son trick or treating today but if I do pray for me. For real. Im really shook. I was reading this webstie http://nyctheblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/violence-expected-in-east-harlem.html

Yes you should click on the website for yourself and see what im talking about if you dont already know. Trust me its not just a rumor, Its the truth. Its said that people who want to be initiated into the gang must each kill 31 women (women of all ages) in drive by shootings. You see that WOMAN? They only killing woman. Thats the sad part and im not tryna say they should kill men too but shoot they shouldnt be killing NOBODY!!!

Like come on these woman can be or are somebody's Grandmother, Granddaughter, Goddaughter, Daughter or sister etc. DAM MAN !!!!

Thats why im so scared and im not tryna put my life at risk by going outside for some dam candy. But maybe later I will feel different and change my mind cause I want my son to get some candy and have fun and shit.

What the fuck is the world coming to???
It feels like its coming to a dam end. Its all fucked up and turning in a direction in which it shouldnt turn to.

All this killing and shit needs to come to a end. Somebody need to stop these gangs for real. When Obama speak on the term CHANGE hopefully this will all stop righT??? or No because nobody is brave enough to stop them??

As I type this those gang bangers are proballii out there killing woman right now. Which is sad but like I said its truth especially if shit was on the news. They suppose to be doing it all day. I cant believe this shit. I dont know why they want to be so cold hearted just to be down or whatever. Yes im pretty much shook up about this shit. I wonder how they parents are gonna feel when they find out that they son or daughter have killed somebody. Yes there are some blood females. SHOOT I wonder how they feel about they son or daughter being in this dam GANG shit period. Its not hard to spot a BLOOD memeber out.

Well imma end this blog here cause I cant even think straight. So if I do decide to go outside or whatever I will be sure to look at my surroundings. Cause this shit is not a joke. Make sure to watch the news to see whats going on today in this cold ass world and google "blood initiation" and I hope you clicked on the link above.

im out...**Be Safe**

Love being Mommy

2008-10-29T12:02:00.004-04:00

I will never forget when being a mommy really started.

March 23, 2007

-It was around 3pm well im not really sure what time it was but I know it was a friday. I didnt go to school(Plaza College) that day because I didnt feel like going & plus I woke up late and my class started at 10am. I dont know why my mom didnt wake me but kinda happy she didnt. Well anteeways I was watching TV and all of sudden I had to pee cause the baby was going hard on my bladder. REAL hard, shit felt mad weird. So I went to the bathroom and when I got in the bathroom I saw a drop of blood in my underwear (ewww I know) So the first thought that came to my mind was "OH NO I HOPE I AINT LOSE MY SON". (I dont know why I thought that but I knew I wasnt having a misscarrige it was just that I was nervous a little I aint know what to think). I started yelling for my mommy.

Mom-What you yelling like that for?

Me-Look (I showed her my underwear)

Mom-Wanna go to the hospital?

Me-No wait a while

So I went and layed down so something told me call my babyfather just in case being that he was in job corp upstate at the time I would have to call and let him no whats going on so they can send him home or whatever. Im dailing the number to the job corp shit. And I started getting krazy pains so I started screaming. Than my mom called the ambulance. Im thinking to myself what would of happen if I was in school and being that I only got one class on fridays and the school is in Jackson Height Queens?? Dam thank god I stayed home that day. Well anyteeways I aint get no connection to my babyfather.

Well while I was in the ambulance the pains started getting worst. So thats when I realized that those shits was fucking contractions. Soon as we pulled up in front of the ambulance tears started falling down my face. I got settle in the hospital or whatever. I was acting like a baby cause those contractions aint no dam joke. My mommy was looking at me like "you wanted this baby not deal with the pain". I guess she was getting mad cause I was screaming or whatever. But I aint give a fuck cause those shits hurted. Im laying in the hospital bed and all of sudden I had to take a doo-doo so I went and did the dam thing. It hurted everytime I walked. I kept going back to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Its was krazy. So the doctor or nurse who ever the bitch was checked to see if my water broke or something. The bitch poking me asking me do this hurt, do that hurt, so im pushing her hand back and she like stop so I kicked her (LOL) you can just go sticking your dam fingers in my coochie all hard and shit. Than she like my water broke she gotta break the rest of it. OMG and after that contractions started getting worst. I wasnt even counting how far apart they was. I just wanted it to be all over. I was getting upset cause my cell phone aint have no service in the dam hospital. (I should of known)

So my mommy had to leave me in the room all alone to go downstairs to call people and tell them whats going on. She even called my Babyfather and still no connection. Well aleast she called his aunt and let her know.

Hours later.......
They moved me to another room which looked like it could of been a bedroom in someones house. Im looking around like WOW than contractions still coming.

Time seemed to be gonig hella slow
March 24th..2007

Here go my mommy....

Mom-It dont look like you having that baby anytime soon so im going home and im coming back

ME- (cryinig) you leaving me

Mom-Yes im tired and its 1am

Soon as she started putting on her coat the doctors came in so they checked how far apart I was or whatever. The doctor asked me do I feel like I wanna push. Im like UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH NO, Cause he had his hands all in me and shit. My mommy like "is she having the baby tonight??"..LoL they ignored her question. And was like imma have to have a C-section cause it dont look like imma be able to have a natural birth cause the baby might not make it. In other words im too dam small to push. LoL.

At this time my mommy was getting on my last nerves. She like "thats what she wanted". Im saying in my head I thought she was leaving me why she still hear than??..I was just aggravted shoot..Espeacilly cause I couldnt get in contact with my dumb ass babyfather.

A hour later....

They gave me a needle in my back. Did it hurt?? Hell no it aint hurt. It easied the pain for like 20 minutes than my contractions came back. So they gave my mom a gown to put on. And they took me to the room where they give you the C-section at.
So im laying there and they gave me some shit but the shit had me talking out my head. So after they cut me open took the baby out. I started crying not cause of pain cause of the shit they gave me had me going krazy. Im like "i want my baby" all I hear is my mommies voice saying "look " but my eye site was blurry so I couldnt see nothing.

Than they took me to the recovery room. The doctor like "your mother is going home". Im like nooooooooooooooooooo. LOL She like" you need some rest". So at this time my eye site wasnt blurry but I was still going krazy.
I looked at the doctor like she was krazy....

Me-you pregnant?

Doctor-Yes

Me-WOOOOW Did you cut me open?

Doctor-Yes I helped

After that I aint have no words. I just started thinking in my head like ewwwwwwwww how can she look at me cut all open and not throw up being that she pregnant.

**By the way Quan was born at 4:31am 7punds 9ounces** Here are some pictures of him when he was first born. Awww "Tears"

When I woke up they brought him right to me and I was so excited I just couldnt put him down after that. I was feinging. They took us to another room which we had to share with some loud ass lady. OMG she stayed on the dam phone talking about nothing at all. Like her pregnancy went so great. I was hating cause I was still in pain from the staples they had put in me. I couldnt even go to the bathroom like I wanted to they had a tube up my dam coochie so yea thats pretty much how I used the bathroom. EWWW nasty right?? I know.

My mommy arrived. DAM here she go. I knew she was gon brag about how she held him fisrt like I cared LoL well I did care. Im saying to myself if she get on my nerves today with her excited ass imma tell her to go HOME!!!...

HMMMM around 7 or 8 that night my babyfather shows up with his family. OH NO. Why he so dam late like he had to come with them and couldnt come early???. Well anteeways he acted like he was scared to hold Quan maybe cause he didnt know how LoL. But its wasnt hard for him to learn.

Hahha so out of nowhere im saying to myself "I gotta pee" . (I have forgot the tube was in me for a minute so I started pee'n) loL. And my babyfather like well go pee DUH. Im like I am pee'n he looking at me like huh?? than he saw the container on side of the bed and said ewww and moved away from me...LMAOOOOOO that was so funni.

Like hour later his family left and so did my mom thank god. LoL And it was just me, Quan and my babyfather. So we talking or whatever. Babyfather seemed mad happy he just couldnt stop touching Quan. Im like GESH. He like "I had a feeling you was having him"
.................................................

Having Daquan was the happiest day of my life I would never forget the first time I saw him. We shared a bond in our eyes that "we will always be together". And up until this day. ITS TRUE.

I can go on about the days I spent in the hospital for 8 days. YUp 8 days cause I kept catching fevers. I dont know how though. Haha I was gon fuck my babyfather up in the dam hospital. YUP with staples in my belly I was gon choke his ass but instead I just kicked him in his leg. Cause he was getting stupid.

Well anteeways
here is a picture of me and Quan...finally we had our own room in the hospital and aint have to share it with a loud ass lady anymore. LoL Dam I looked a hawt mess in the picture and I had a perm when I went in the hospital. LOL

Since that day Quan was born THATS WHEN I REALIZED MY LIFE WAS HEADING FOR A CHANGE. I WAS SO EXCITED ALL I COULD SAY WAS THANK YOU GOD FOR THE MOST WONDERFUL GIFT.WHEN I WAS PREGNANT PEOPLE WAS LIKE'' ARE YOU SURE YOU READY FOR A BABY'',''ITS HARD'' AND I USE TO SAY I KNOW WHAT IM DOING IMMA BE A GREAT MOTHER AND LOOK NOW IM BEIN MORE THAN A GREAT MOTHER IM BEING A WONDERFUL MOTHER.I LOVE EVERY MOMMENT OF IT. I LOVE CHANGING HIS PAMPERS BECUZ HE JUST BE LAUGHIN SO HARD IT MAKES ME HAPPY, AND I BE LAUGHIN WITH HIM TOO.AT FIRST I USE TO BE LIKE EWWWW CUZ HIS SHIT NO JOKE when hw shit...LOL.AS YOU CAN SEE I LOVE MY SON so MUCH, AND HE IS MY MOST MOTIVATION TO KEEP LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST.I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. HE MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. HIS SMILE BRIGHTENS UP MY DAY.HE IS THE ONE WHO MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN IM SAD.I WILL ALWAYS BE BY HIS SIDE NO MATTER WHAT.I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT HE GETS EVERYTHING HE NEEDS. I WILL ALWAYS BE A WONDERFUL MOTHER TO HIM.I THANK GOD FOR HIM EVERY DAY.

**I love being a mommy**

Long ass blog right??? lol sorry about that....

Live your life

2008-10-26T15:17:00.006-04:00

Every once in a while it wont hurt to party and drink right??. I say live everyday like its your last cause tomorrow isnt promised. That dont mean drink everyday okay. Get what im saying???. . So im living my life to the fullest **I love my life* and everybody should love theirs cause you only get ONE LIFE and you should enjoy it. I love to drink, party and have a good time on some weekends. I must say this weekend was a good one for me.

Friday....
I was just like so down(sad) I dont even know why. Wait I do know why. Shit just aint going like I want it to, but I know my days will get better. Imma just stand strong. Well anteeways back to what I was saying about friday. I just needed a drink so I had three BJ koolers. Yup I had three. LoL. Oh I call the koolers BJ but its called Barne & Janes well something like that. I forgot the name so I just call them BJ's. Yeah those my shits. They got so many flavors. Hmmm makes me want one now but im not gonna get one. Well I was a lil tipsy on friday after I had those three koolers than after that I had one cup of bacardi and than I was sound to sleep. I didnt even know I was going to sleep. Gesh I wanted to blast some music not fall asleep. LoL.

Well on Saturday(yesterday)..OMG I was just having a rough afternoon day. Babyfather girlfriend talking about she fucking two months pregnant. Cant believe it!!!
Thought-How the fuck he gon get the lil 16 year old girl pregnant when he dont do shit for our son??.......

UGHHH...back to what I was saying. So yeah my day wasnt going so great thankx to that news. Shoot I was in need of a drink after that. Yup so my homegirl/chicka Amirh came over to my house yesterday night. Than we went to the liquior store than back to my house and thats how the party started. LoL Wasnt really a party but thats what I like to call it everytime we get together cause we just be acting krazy. Daquan was even having fun with us with his juicy juice until I told him time for bed. Yup he needs to go to bed at a decent time (8pm). LoL but that aint work so he end up laying in bed playing with his feet until he fell alseep around 9 or 9:30.

After lil man went to sleep we still listening to music and shit drinking crap. Started IM'n people on aim. Spelling words all wrong and shit. LMAO. Who doesnt have errors with words while drunk?? We even invited people to come party with us but everybody had a excuse for not coming. But my cuzzin and his friend came. HMMMMMMM they krazy and loud. But we all had a good time. That Grey Goose aint no joke.I just kept drinking it and it creeped up on me and so I was more drunk than I already was from drinking smirr off vodka and two BJ's. Started calling people "Beyonce" LoL dont ask me why, shoot I was drunk. Than I hear them saying "nomore to drink toya give me your cup". LMAO that was too funni. Cause soon as my cuzzin turned his head I drank his cup of grey goose. And than he like" what happen to my grey goose" lol I drank it DUH. Shoot thought you was gon take my cup away from me and I not grab somebody elses??? must of been krazy than. Cause im krazy LMAO. Yeah thats my definition of having a good time with family and friends. Just laughing, joking and shit. Makes me happy just having fun thats all.

Dont drink too much though.Thankful I aint throw up. EWWW thats nasty. But I have threw up a couple of times when I was drunk before. Haha and I said I wasnt gon drink nomore guess I lied to myself cause last night I sure did it up. But Im not drinking no more until my 20th birthday on November 12th which is a couple of weeks away. Imma do it up on that day too but imma stick to one drink and thats gonna be maybe Grey goose not sure yet. Well if yall want to get me something and dont know what to get me I wouldnt mind a VISA CARD, CASH, PAMPERS, SNEAKERS, WIPES, CLOTHES, and an IPOD TOUCH. LMAO im just kidding. Well thats my birthday wish list.

well anteeways
..................Today when I woke up I still felt drunk but not like I was last night though. Aint go to sleep until 4 this morning. And now my ass wide awake. What in the hell....

Who doesnt like to have fun????????

ending this blog with a quote "Life is what you make it"

I miSs her

2008-10-23T12:00:00.006-04:00

This picture above is a picture of my lovely, wonderful, sweet, Grandmother Martha (Rest in Peace) Who I miss soooooooooo dam much. I was thinking about her today and than "the day I found out she died" pop up in my head so I decided to share that sad story with yall.

It was in the year of 1998 I had to be aleast 10 going on 11 well something like that(shoot I dont feel like counting). Well one day me and my mama had came in the house from my aunts house and my daddy was in the kitchen washing dishes and it looked like he had a attitude and was mad at the world so to avoid myself from getting yelled at by saying something smart I just didnt say anything and went straight to my room. So my mama was in kictchen talking to my daddy while I was in my room. I couldnt make out the converstation. So as I was putting on my P'J's (Pajamies ya know sleep wear). My mama comes in my room and tells me my Grandmother died (My daddy's Mother). So I looked at my mama with shock cause I really didnt know what to do so there the tears fell from my eyes (like they falling as I type this). I went to my daddy crying and he held me in his arms and we cried together. That was the first time I saw my daddy cry and it wasnt the last either. Quote-REAL MAN CRY . I just couldnt believe it cause I only got to see my grandmother one time when she was alive. Sad right? Maybe cause she lived in North Carolina or maybe I did see her when I was a baby but I dont recall it. Even though I only saw her one time (that I remember) I still love her and always will love her. She was a sweet and kind woman. I will never forget her.

My Grandmother's Health was Failing and her leg was giving her trouble so she had to get it cut off and than after that Grain Green(Poison) had sat in it and caused her to die. Sad right??? Yeah that was a sad day for me. And that was the day I came to realize everybody dont live forever. When god calls your name you have no choice but to go. I didnt attend her funeral service cause it was in North Carolina and my daddy wasnt sure when he was coming back and he aint want me to miss so many days out of school and he knew he would of had to be doing alot of runinng around and shit like that being that he was "the baby" of 2 oldest brothers. Which I wouldnt not of mind cause school sucked than. I wonder how I would of reacted at her funeral being that I was so young. I think I would of went Krazy cause I loved her so much. She use to talk to me on the phone all the time when she called for my daddy. Well I know imma see her again when god calls my name and until than imma just keep her in my heart cause I know she's in a better place.

***Here is my 4th tat I got on my arm***Yes I love my grandmother so much I had to get her name Tatted on me.....
I lost so many people in my past OMG its just sad. But I know they in a better place watching over me. They see everything I go through and I know they wanna see me smile so thats why I have to be strong.

R.I.P GRANDPA LEE
R..I.P GRANDMOTHER MARTHA
R.I.P DADDY
R.I.P GRANDMOTHER MELBA
R.I.P UNCLE HARRY
R.I.P UNCLE MUNGO
R.I.P AUNT NESIE

*********I MISS AND LOVE YALL!!!***********

Im ending this blog with a quote...

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice"

Are you a Madea

2008-10-22T11:40:00.008-04:00

Mabel "Madea" Simmons is a fictional character created by writer/director Tyler Perry. Based on Perry's mother and aunt, Madea is an aggressive, grey haired Afircan American. She will argue with anyone, she also has the a habit of threaten people by pulling a gun out of her purse, and she has unique way of prounoncing words as reflected in her tag line, "I oughta punch chur in da face!" She is part of a large family, with many children and grandchildren. Her name is spelled variously as "Mabel" and "Mable," probably in order to confuse government authorities and others when applying for jobs, getting credit cards, etc.She is portrayed by Tyler Perry himself in both the films and plays. "Madea" or "Madear" is a typical Southern name for a grandmother. The term is a shortened form of "Mother Dear." Isnt that kute name lol?? If I had a grandmother like her I dont know what I would do cause she play no games. She always has something to say. (Speaking her mind thats all) . She has a book called "Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries On Love And Life" and if you havent read it already you should do so. You will learn alot. She told some storues and they all in that book. She's found for saying "Life is sometimes hard, and you have to laugh your way through it. Anything that has to do with Tyler Perry im all for it. Cause Madea is just a funni character. Who dont think so?? . If you dont think this woman/man is funni than you dont know what comedian is.

Now for the slow people...LOL
That may be blind and cant see or just dont know or maybe just stuck on STUPID. MADEA AND TYLER PERRY ARE THE SAME PERSON. Let me Explain- Tyler Perry dresses up like a woman and becomes Madea in those plays and films. Understand??. Well if not your just really are stupid. Doesnt that make him gay?? No it doesnt make Tyer Perry gay because he is only playing a character role and that is "Madea". So if you think thats gay it truly isnt. Believe me!

Tyler Perry was born September 13, 1969 in New Orleans, Louisiana . He is an American playwriter, screenwriter, actor, and director, producer of indie films and stage plays. Now this is a man who dropped out of school at age 16 and later obtained his GED. Can you believe that?? Shoot and they say people that drop out of school are stupid but look how far it got Tyler Perry, Cause he was smart enough to go back and get a GED. But hey that doesnt mean Students should drop out of school. Feel me? Stay in school students. Cause everybody needs an education. Dont you agree? Well I agree.

If your a female and after reading that book "Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries On Love And Life" you proballii gon say "I want to become Madea". LMAO I use to say that. I catch myself saying to people "Madea my grandmother you aint know" in other words watch what you say to me. I know im funni right?.

Here are The Ten Commandments of being a Madea (She mentioned them in her book)...............

1.Keep it real. Say whats on your mind when you feel like saying it.

**I does that all the time with no dam problem**

2. Life is hard, so laugh, even in the moments when people think stuff aint funni.

**Im always laughing at any and everything**

3. Eat, live and die. Dont worrying about dieting. Dont worry about exercising. Whatever comes on, let it stay on.

**Dont gotta tell me that**

4. Do unto others before they do unto you

**Yup cause if I think somebody gon say some smart shit out they mouth I cut them right off and say something smart first**

5.If they have done it unto you and you havent done it to them, do it twice.

**I do that all the time**

6. Pick up sticks. live richly even if you'r poor...by eatting rich food

**Forsho**

7. Whatever you done in the pass is done and dont be ashamed of it. As long as it didnt involve animals or children, you're alright. You are with the rest of the world.

**Never ashamed of anything I've done in the pass**

8. Stand up Straight

**Most def I do**

9. You will get better with time

**Im getting better and better with writting blogs as time is going**

10. This is the final commandent. Live every day like this is a tomorrow to make it up. Live like everyday on this earth, you have a tomorrow to apologgive.

**Sure is and living it up with no regrets**

Yup those were Ten commandents of "being a madea"

LoL So I guess you can just call me LiL Madea.

Tell me peeps.....
What do yall think of Madea/Tyler perry??
How would you react if you had Madea as a grandmother or mother??
Do you think you are a Madea??

Tears fall

2008-10-22T01:50:00.008-04:00

Too me I think its okay to cry sometimes. When I cry I feel better afterwards. Speaking on the topic of "Crying" I was crying not to long ago for like a good hour. But we not gon get into why I was crying cause I was just going through a emotional moment thats all. If ya know what I mean? Where you just sit and think about shit than few minutes later tears are falling and you cant stop them. Yeah well that. Everybody has those moments right?? If not you will sooner or later. LoL. I cried so many times I lost count. Sometimes its sad that I cry so much, but I know deep down inside if I hold my tears in im only gon feel worst. Feel me? If you dont understand me just try to ok?

**This below is just something I wrote off the top of my head but its so true**

Its called "I Cried"........
I cried when I felt I was in a wolrd all alone
I cried when I had nothing
I cried when I thought I couldnt be strong
I cried when people I loved died
I cried when shit wasnt working out for me
I cried when my feelings got hurt
I cried when I made mistakes
I cried when I didnt know what to do
I cried when I thought it was the end of the world
I cried when people didnt understand me
I cried when I thought the bad dream I had was reality
I cried when my heart got broken
I cried when people walked out my life
I cried when I was really upset
I cried when I was stressed

*****DAM I JUST CRIED SO MUCH AND FOR REASONS TOO****

Are those stupid reasons to cry for??? Well to me they arent. Shit I told yall im emotional. Someday I should get over that stage of being emotional. I dont think I ever will though. Cause thats just me.

Shoot I dont hold my tears back for nobody. And when im crying and somebody comes to me and say "Toya dont cry its gonna be okay" That just makes me cry even harder. Sometimes I dont even wanna be hugged while crying. I like to cry alone. Feel me?

**You can be strong on the outside and always cry on the inside.**

Like some days I be so sad for plenty of reasons but I dont show it so instead I be strong and put on a smile on the outside when deep down inside im crying though. But that dont always work everytime im sad so sometimes I just let the tears come out and fall.

Well thats gonna be it for this blog cause im tired of talking about "crying"!

Let me know....
What was your reasons for all the times you cried?

Being Mean??

2008-10-21T11:07:00.006-04:00

Today is going so whack but im kool though hopefully I go shopping with my aunt later today. She suppose to be buying Quan a new stroller. Thank god. Cause LiL man walk to slow for me. And I like walking at good speed feel me?. Cant be stopping and looking at birds and crap when I need to be somewhere on time. LoL.

But anteeways Jay texted me at 9:53 this morning. I swear he is such a morning person. Like what in the hell?...Here is the convo we had through text messages.

Him-How u doin my nubian princess

Saying to myself- WTF I am not no princess of his

Me-Im okay
Him-What u doing:) u able to see me?

always wanna see me wtf

Me-Idk. & why u never told me where u work at?
Him-I didnt c u yet since that day im making my way now

OMG

Me-U dont have to come see me
Him-I want 2 u must be busy? I guess hit me lata
Me-I just dont wanna see u
Him-Whats that about?
Me-Wat u want from me? Be honest!
Him-Matter a fact say nomore I never came off rude and gave u respect. I cant even get a convo without u think more of it than it is. I dont even know u like that ma

Thinking- but u dont gotta know a person to just be real and say u just want some pussy right???

Me-Ok I understand that but I only asked a question. I was just wondering thats all

Shoot aint nothing wrong with asking Questions

Him-Nah thats rude u aint busy and someone trying to see you and you say I dont want to see you. What the hell I do to you

Me-U aint do nothing wrong so far I just dont wanna see u 2day
Him-Thats pushing me away by saying that but its cool you will learn how to talk to some thats interested in you

WTF 2m is another day, he acting like its the end of the world or some shit

Me-How is that pushing u away im just keeping it. We cant be nothing more than friends anyways
Him-No one said we going to las vegas tun get married. I was looking for someone I can take out to eat and talk to

If thats the case how about he just wait into I text him and say "I wanna see you"

Me-Okay

Well that was the end of that text convo with him. Thank god. I dont think I was being mean. I just wanted to know what he was up to thats all. You cant just trust any niggah and not ask questions. You must ask questions now a days. Today was just one of those days where I aint wanna see him and plus like I said before he bores me. But I'll see him again some day maybe before this week over. What if he say he dont wanna see me than cause I aint wanna see him today???. Oh well dont matter to me. Life goes on. I was just keeping it real with him thats all. Think I was being mean??? Should I believe that maybe he isnt up to something?

Butter Cookies

2008-10-21T00:47:00.003-04:00

Last week my mom brought some cookies called "Butter Cookies" when she went food shopping or whatever...

So check this out....

Mom-OOooo child I bet you cant just eat one of those butter cookies I brought (in other words- if I eat one imma have to want another one)

Me-Oh plz blah blah
(in other words- yeah whatever lady) LoL

After that Im thinking to myself maybe I should just try one, so I went to the table and looked at them and changed my mind.Than went back to sit down at the computer and all I kept thinking about was eatting one of those dam cookies. Shit Quan already had like 3 already.Having a convo in my brian like what if I cant just eat one cookie?? Than my mom gon be like told you so or something like that.

Okay Two days later still had those dam cookies on my mind.Im saying to myself I want something sweet. Oh what the hell I just grabbed one of those "butter cookies" and yes those shits taste yummy. How many I had??? like 6. So I have to admit my moms was right I just coudnt eat one of those cookies and not want more. LoL

Matter of fact I just got finished eatting 5 of them now. I think I want some more.LoL I know greedy me right? They even taste good with some Ice cold water.

Tell me have you ever eaten something but just had to have more of it???
Like it was calling your name or something. LoL

Just Talking

2008-10-19T23:12:00.005-04:00

I Told yall I was gonna proballii post another blog before sunday is over.Here it is 11:14pm sunday and Im just sitting here thinking about what happened in my pass. Alot of bad and alot of good. Plenty mistakes but no regrets. And I'll learned alot from all my mistakes. I aint gon lie I've hurted people in the pass. So forsho I learned from that. Cause I moved on or whatever and I ended up getting hurt. Yes Karma is one hella of bitch.Who dont believe in Karma?? Cause what goes around comes around and thats a dam true fact. But shit happens for a reason. Understand? Where im at in my life today is all for a reason. I can never live with any regrets cause what had happen in my pass at one point I wanted it to happen. So why should I regret??? Get what im saying. I live each one of these days like its my last cause you only get one life. And imma live it up and yall should do the same dont let nobody bring you down.
Dam I need a good drink right now. I just want a smirroff ice any flavor will do. LoL. If you have too many of those you will be drunk as hell. I drink them like they soda. So yummy.

Do you ever get tired of certain people at times?? Hell I do like one of my friends im not gon put her on full blast but she's not on this blog shit but she proballii read my blogs though cause I put my link in my aim "away message". WEll yeah this chick just be getting on my nerves sometimes LOL.Is friends suppose to get on your nerves??? Yup I guess so. I just dont understand her sometimes. She be making me wanna spaz out on her with her dam spilt personality one minute she nice as hell and than the next she got a attitude with me cause she mad at the world, but I just keep my kool. Cause I dont like hurting people feelings really unless I feel I should or they hurt mines and I most def dont like hurting my friends feelings.Im being a good friend by not spazzin out on her ass but keep in mind that I can only take so much. So when I get to that point OHH hell yes imma spaz on her ass. But until than imma just accept the fact that maybe she's going through alot with life who knows cause she dont tell me shit and when I ask questions all I get is attitude. So im falling back. Feel me? Okay here's the .............**Update on Jay**
This dude is IDK what to say about him cause one he still hasnt told me where he work. Like wtf?? When is he ever gon tell me?? I hope he knows I still want to know. Well on saturday afternoon when I was leaving upstate he texted me that he wanted to see me so I texted him I was upstate and he was like alright. So I texted him when I got back to boring ass brooklyn and he havent texted me back yet. Oh well I dont care he cant be my man anteeways I just love his car though. OMG I need to stop. I will not use him for his car. But would it hurt if I asked him to drive me places??? and Pick me up from places???. Hell I wouldnt do that cause he aint even my type. If I had it in my heart I would still his dam car lol. Naw Chill I wouldnt do that either. I know what he wants from me just by him texting me one day last week asking "where the live pictures at"?. (In other words where the naked pictures at send me some.) He bugging out and I told him that too. He will never see me naked I know that and next time he text me I would make sure to tell him we will never be nothing more than friends. I should of never gave his ass my number to begin with. What a mistake I made. Now I learned from it.

Shaking my fucking head at niggahs these days.....

Omfg here is the........**Update on my Babyfather** Where should I start?? OH he still alive thank god but still spending money on his girlfriend and telling me about it too..isnt that sweet?????? Hell naw that shit aint sweet. Would I be wrong if I saw him in the street and I just went across his head with something hard like a brick??? I dont think I would be wrong maybe that brick would knock some sense in his head. Niggah gon make me catch a case for real. He needs to grow up. His dumb ass wanna live with his girlfriend. He swear he can hide shit from me but naw I got sources and shit. I dont know why he hiding that he live with his girlfriend anteeways?? oh cause he ashamed I bet. He should be cause he aint doing shit with his life just messing it up. He cliams he going to school. I gotta see that shit with my own eyes cause thats just too hard to believe and he never told me what school he go to. Hmmm imma gonna find out though and see whats up. I need to stop being nosey LoL. Naw he just need to get his shit together. Right??. well enough talking about that lame.

Long blog huh?? Im sorry lol just had alot to say thats all.

A weekend to remember

2008-10-19T11:17:00.010-04:00

I had a very good weekend. Yup starting from friday through sunday. Sunday which is today. I couldnt ask for a better weekend. Feel me? I love my life even when times are rough still gotta love my life cause you only get one.

Well on friday I had a good ass day. Took Quan to daycare in the morning than went off to my unlce house for money to get my hair done than off to the hair salon I went. LOL Yea i needed a perm ASAP. Costed me 35 bucks, but that was kool cause it was all worth it. My shit was nappy may have looked straight before but it wasnt trust me. Shit was hella Thick. Now its just how I like it.Kinda look like its been cut but it hasnt just curled up underneath. I just hated the part when you gotta sit under the dam dryer. OMG Ughhhh the heat makes me restless and not comforable at all. Those beauticians talk about alot of shit too have you dying laughing.They kool though. I go there to get a perm done by my beautician like once or twice every year. LOL see you can tell I dont go to the Hair Salon much. I rather stick with box braids until I feel I really want or need a perm so my hair can breath from all the weave or whatever. Yeah so now I needed a perm and plus my birthday next month aint wanna rock braids on my 20th birthday so yup I went to get a good ol' perm. Im feeling myself too much now Hahahahah.Well after getting my hair done I went and picked up Quan from daycare.The Lady at the daycare says he is very stubborn, he takes all the toys from the other baby. I should beat his ass right???? Naw but im not gonna do that but I will stop him from being stubborn though. Cause me and him can be playing and he just takes all his toys from me.So I teach that he must share his toys if he want others to play with him. He may not understand what im saying now but sooner or later he will. Believe that! So me and Quan went home so I can go pack his bag so he can spend the night with my sister Tasha cause I was going upstate to see my man Chris. I was gonna take Quan with me but I had too much stuff to carry up there with me and being that Quan always want me pick him up or whatever there was no way I was gon make it with all that shit I had to carry. A bunch of dam food too. So my sister Tasha said she was gon watch him since he hasnt spent the night with her since he was around 9 months. Long time right?? But aleast she saw him though. I dont really like Quan spending the night out lol I be missing my baby though. Well anteeways after packing his bag we headed off to Tasha house. Gave Quan a hug and kiss than I went back home to get ready for my trip upstate. It was like around 9 when I got home so I still had time to chill cause the bus to upstate priosons picks you up from downtown at 1:30 so I got on myspace for a while and also got on my Moms nerves just because I wanted to. LOL I like bothering her. Its kinda fun cause she be saying get out her face but laughing at the same time. Gesh all I be doing is asking alot of funni weird questions thats all. How is that getting on her nerves?? lol I know cause she dont wanna be bothered. Hey but she do the same thing to me all the time. At 10pm took a shower and shit made sure I had everything I needed. (Esp. my dam ID cause thats most important when going to them dam priosns upstate. ) Than I was out the door by 11:15pm. Arrived downtown by 12 midnight. Late right?? Do I be scared?? hell imma G, Naw I be a little scared sometimes but I wasnt the only person going upstate so I wasnt scared standing there waiting for the bus.

Saturday...
Was on the bus at 1am dam was I happy to sit down cause by that time my back was killing me cause all the stuff I had to carry. I know yall like I know you wasnt standing for a whole hour. Yes I was I left my house a little too early being that I dont live far from downtown brooklyn but I aint know how the trians would be runinng at night cause some nights they be taking 15 or more minutes to come and I aint wanna miss the dam bus cause I would of been highly upset.Get what im saying?. The bus seats was so comforable.I was so hype when I sat down I had my ZEN(music player) ear phones blasting mad loud in my ear. Why?? lol I had no idea. As we pulled off I was like thank god im leaving brooklyn even though its just for a day. Lol im getting tired of brooklyn though samething and same faces thats whack.Bus had to pick up more people from the bronx so we had to stop. I wanted to get up and go to the store but the seat was holding me back cause it was feeling so nice and comforable. I knew I was in for a good a sleep. So after I paid my ticket off to sleep I went.And I dont really like sleeping on buses when going somewhere far from brooklyn.Shit I dont trust people.If you know what I mean and plus I was by myself. Well that sleep was the best sleep. when I woke up it was 7:15am time for me get off the bus and get those heavy ass bags and go into the lil house thats a few feet away from the prison where you wait until 8am when the visiting shit start. So that gave me time to fil out the form I had to fill out, use the ladies room and put his stuff in brown paper bags. If you been to a prison before than you know how that goes right?. The only part I dislike is you have to put your coats and stuff in lockers (aleast you dont gotta pay for the lockers). I had no sweater under my coat and you have to go outside to get to the visiting room. I knew I should of brought a sweater cause thats all they allow inside the prison. The sweaters with no hoods. Dam and I had no long sleeves on so you know I was freezing. But it was only a 3 minute walk to the prison. LOL but shit I was still cold though.During that 3 minute walk I was saying "plz dont let the AC be on when I in get this bitch" LOL. So once inside im like thankx no AC.What a wonderful relief. Cause last time I went they had AC on and I aint have a sweater with me than either. I dont know what made me not bring a sweater this time.But next time I will be sure to take one. Well while I was waiting for Chris to come to the visiting area I was just thinking about my pass and how the hell I ended up where Im at today after all the shit I been through when I thought I couldnt be strong.Than this came to my mind "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice". That quote is so true. Cause I been through shit I thought I would never get pass but the only choice I had after all the shit was to be STRONG. And yes I believe that imma strong wonderful mother. I love my life. 9 something Chris finally came to the visiting room. Seem like I was in a daze cause I was just staring in space and he was right in front of me looking like are you gon hug me. So I got up hugged him or whatever. I was happy to see him. And he was happy to see me too. We talked about many things. I even cried cause Its like so hard seeing somebody in prison and knowing they cant come back home with you. He told me everything I needed to know even though he has told me before but im guessing he want it to sink in my dam brain. He told me he loved me and all that other shit. Do I believe him?? YES because not only cause he tells me but I can feel it in my heart that he's in love with me. Once you feel it you know its real. I can tell this dude anything and he understands me. He tells me shit that im proballii not suppose to even be knowing but its kool with me cause I know how to keep my mouth shut. Yup im in love. Well while me and him talking or whatever. There was a girl waiting for her boyfriend or husband to come out. So I saw when he came out, he didnt even hug or kiss her. Why?? shit thats the samething I was wondering. So 10 minutes later he got up and walked to the EXIt. (thats where they send the inmates back to they cell) So the girl walks over to him and he yelled at her saying "get the fuck away from me". She look like she wanted to cry so she yells back "call me or write me the next time you want to see me". I felt bad for her cause he should of been happy she came to see his ass but I guess she really pissed him off or he was just having a bad day. Im nosey righT??? Hell yeah I dont miss shit.Wait its more a inmate at the next table looked like he aint have no dam teeth in his mouth and he had to be in his late 30's and his girlfriend was crying I dont know why she was crying cause she was talking too low and so was he so I couldnt make out what they was saying gesh. LOL. I need to stop being nosey.I proballii wasnt the only one being nosey though. When I was crying Chris was like baby stop crying you dont want these people to see you cry. I said ughhh shoot its natural im not the only one in here that crys. Shit everybody crys once in they life.Right?? and dont say you havent cause if you havent please let me know. LoL .I had a good time with Chris he just kracks me up so much. Talking about LAUGHING I be laughing so dam hard my stomach start hurting. The jokes he say be so funni. Tell me why I told him "dam I knew I should of brought a comb with me but being that you cant bring them inside the prison I left my comb home but I should of brought it for when after I got off the bus but thank god my hair stayed in place.It was bonucey so all I had to do was comb it down with my fingers. LOL so ghetto I know I know. He told me I should of told him to bring a comb from his cell. So I started laughing and said omg I aint know you had a phone where I can call you and tell you that. He laughed mad loud and im like What the hell im serious Lol. That prison shit makes you lose your mind. For real how was suppose to tell him I needed a comb?? I wasnt even sure I was gon see him that saturday and neither was he so when he called me at home on tuesday night I aint say nothing about a dam comb. I was proballii saying "im hungry" like always cause im always hungry. Shit skinny people need food feel me??. Well imma stop talking about the great saturday I had with my future husband. Yes we gon get married in the future sometime. I'll be sure to invite yall to the wedding. LOL. Well after arivving back in brooklyn new york at 8pm from upstate I went straight to pick up my lil man Quan.Yup I missed his bad ass lol. And home we went and took our asses to sleep. Well I stayed up for a while than I went into a deep sleep.

Sunday.................
Sitting here typing this dam blog proballii type another one later, who knows. Today seem so dam boring but im having a good day. Who's bored??? I guess thats why I had nothing else better to do was talk about my weekend. Shit aint really nothing to watch on TV and I got cable.If there is something to watch somebody please let me know?? lol naw but for real. Hope this week go good and nobody makes me upset. Well this the end of this long ass blog..SmoOCheS!!!

Here Im leaving yall with some pictures I took on friday after I got my hair did. New look u like?? and once again my hair hasnt been cut it just look like that cause its curled underneath . THat what sitting under the dam dryer with rollers do to your hair. I like it naw slash that I love it cause if I would of did it myself at home it would of looked krazy not even close to this. I like my hair to bounce with me. LOL get what im saying?

Myspace-Who doesnt have one??

2008-10-16T11:43:00.006-04:00

MY PROFILE

Yes I have submitted my real name. Like be for real why wouldnt I? Everything I written on my profile is real. No need to lie about anything feel me?. 100% honest. I often change things on my page once in a while like put different pictures on it and stuff like that. I love using DIV layouts but now im just working with regular layouts for a while. Dont have much patients with DIV layouts it takes alot of time and sometimes I get confused with those dam code shits. Know what I mean right?. But I love putting my pictures as a background for a layout, I only do that like once every two months though. LOL kinda getting lazy with myspace. I keep my profile private cause that public shit aint kool. People just be wanting to be nosey thats all. So if you aint got me as a friend on myspace go ahead and add me www.myspace.com/ilovemybabyfather07. I know yall looking at the URL("ilovemybabyfather07") like WTF but that shit is old. Wish I can change it but bad news I cant. And I know dam well I aint making a new page just so I can change my URL. Thats too much work. Who knows maybe next year I will make a new profile/page.

MY PICTURES

If you know me than you know I like taking pictures and Im not conceited or anything I just have a thing for the camera thats all. Well my mom thinks im conceited cause im always some dam where taking pictures. LoL can we say "hi hater" to my moms. Shit when I was younger I use to stay up in somebody camera. I wonder where I get it from. Somebody. I also like taking pictures of other people espeacilly when they aint paying attention or acting krazy LOL. SNAP and RUN than I show them the picture like weeks later and they be like "omg oh no you didnt and you better not show nobody either". Pictures are good to have and you can always look back on them. I have 8 albums {which means I have 254 pictures on myspace} right now. Are they all of me?? No they arent. I know yall proballii like thank god cause 254 pictures of only me on myspace would be krazy. I often upload pictures up there like twice every week or so. And I dont take pictures just to put on MYSPACE. I take them because they are wonderful to have as Memories. Agree?. I love designing pictures. So most of my pictures are designed by me and have my profile ID(185434120) number on it cause people love posing as others and I aint feeling that shit. Will I design you a picture? Hell no lol but if I know you and you really want me to design one of your pictures, I will but I aint no professional though (keep that in mind). I like changing my default picture like once every week. Some pictures of me in my albums are busted LOL well to me they are but they iight for myspace. I like to look through other people pictures, forsho the DUDES though, hmmmm cause its some sexy ones on myspace. Do I comment on other people pictures? sure enough do and speaks my mind if something aint right in the picture LoL. Can I comment all of just one persons pictures?? Hell naw thats just to much time and that would be like I have no life. Only lames do shit like that. Im dam sure aint no lame so never ask can I comment all your pictures.

MY BLOG

Some of the blogs I wrote on here came from the blogs I wrote on myspace. Yup Copy and paste thats all I did. But Im not doing that anymore. These blogs will be completey be different from my myspace blogs. Seriously. I think imma just talk about things on myspace only in my myspace blogs. Feel me? Get what im saying? I dont often write blogs on myspace though but will write more and more soon. I do read other people blogs on myspace and shit they be so interesting maybe they need to join this website right?? or maybe they are joined and I just havent came across they blogs on here. My myspace blogs are for friends only. YUP like I said people noesy especailly if they aint on your friends list. How about be my friend on myspace first and than be nosey?? dUH Lol. Dont just go asking me questions and shit and I go to check or whatever and you aint even on my dam friends list oh hell I will put you on blast and dont even think about sending me a friend resquest cause that DENY does work. Agree to what im saying? thats why my page and everything else is private(friends only) meaning you have to be friends with me to be nosey LMAO. Im krazy??? I know right lol. Naw just keep it real thats all. Every blog I read on myspace I do leave comments. Why read something and not comment?? That would be weird.

MY COMMENTS

Yes I leave comments on people pages and I will be sure to respond to everybody's comment thats left on my page. Thats only right. Feel me? (dam I say "feel me" alot) . Be careful to what you write on my comment board on myspace cause if its stupid or something you will be put on blast and it will go in the "screen shots" album. Im always careful to what I say on people pages cause I dont wanna be put on blast LOL. So BE CAREFUL to what you write on people pages they just might put you on blast just like I do. Check out my album "screen shots" they are so funni too. Niggahs just dont be knowing what the hell to say out they mouth. Dont think cause you send me a Lil stupid private message on myspace means I wont put you on blast oh YES I WILL.

MY FRIENDS

At this time I have 4,667 friends on myspace. Too Many right?? Hell yeah. Seems like I add everybody right? Naw believe it or not I dont just add everybody that request's me. It depends on how they default picture look. If it look krazy or fake DENY I will do. But if it look kool and not fake APPROVE I will do. Mostly I got music pages as friends. Yeah you know those upcoming artist with some nice music. Im always requesting music pages. I cant help it I LOVE MUSIC. I have 40 people on my top friends. Why? because I want that many duh. And they mostly family anyteeways so. I dont add people on my top just cause they added me on theirs but because I feel they should be on my top just cause I want them there. Get what im saying? So dont go asking me if I can put you on my top but if you are a upcoming artist(gotta have a music page though) I wouldnt mind putting you on my top who knows you might not have to ask either. Myspace should make top 100 though cause I wanna put more people on my top and dont got time to do that customize top friends, that just takes hella time cause you gotta get the picture url and shit like that. Ughhhh not doing that but I did do it before thats why I say it takes to much times. Took me hours! . I dont really care if I aint on somebody's top friends cause its just myspace aint the person dam life. Some people take myspace to dam serious but NOT ME. Aint gon front I met a couple of people off myspace in 2006 to 2007 and we still kool or whatever but I aint into that meeting people off myspace anymore. I mean if you see me in the street or something do say "HI" and I will say something back. But that whole meet me at this club or whatever naw naw. It aint say meeting people off the internet so thats why when ever I went to meet somebody I always went a couple of people. Never go alone to meet someone. But like I said I aint into all that. Im getting to old LoL.

MY OBSESSION

I must admit I login into myspace every day. Lol just cant help it kinda addictive. Somedays I just sign in on myspace from my sidekick and stay signed in all day.

Well thats it for this blog.

If you have a myspace just drop your URL in a comment so I can add you...

Smooches!!

Could you answer these

2008-10-15T13:12:00.004-04:00

When someone says ''we need to talk'' what do you think is going to happen?
I think a disagreement will take place cause sometimes it does happen like that though and I will end up getting upset.

Is there someone you want back at your life right this moment?
Yes my daddy who's resting in peace. "sad face"

Have you ever been mean to someone and not regretted it?
Yup all the time cause they deserve to be mean to.

Have you ever had to move on really short notice?
Uggghh not really

Do you know someone who has moved because they were running from the cops?
Yup and they still ended up getting caught. No matter where you run the cops will always find some type of krazy way to find your ass. "cant run from problems" and dont think they gon catch up with you.

Has there ever been a 'chance of a lifetime' opportunity that you denied?
Not really.

If you were a hostage would you do ANYTHING to stay alive?
Hell Yeah cause I love my dam life and wouldnt want my son to live without a mother.

Would you take every risk to get away?
Yup I also would take any risk just to get away

Have you ever swam in a lake at night?
Hell naw

Have you ever switched places with your friend at school for an entire day?
Nope

Do you repeat what people say a lot?
I dont repeat at all

Have you met all of your best friend's friend's?
Naw I dont think so

Are you one of those people who look the same but just have gotten older?
I dont think I look the same or maybe I do but I know forsho I got older . LOL

How loud do you listen to your music?
Too Loud but mostly play it loud when I hear my favorite song or something

When sitting at the computer do you let your feet touch the ground?
What kinda "?" is that LoL. but yea sometimes.

You are walking down the street and a cat comes up to you. What do you do?
Move away from it cause im kinda scared of cats. LoL I just dont like when they rub against my leg and shit. Ewwww SCARY to me.

Do you like to learn new things?
Yup all the time cause its wonderful finding out new things

Do you listen to music that your parents do not approve of?
Shoot im grown cant nobody tell me Sugar Hunni Ice Tea

Do you remember the election between George Bush and Al Gore?
Nope anything that has to do with BUSH. I dam sure dont remember.

By the way, are you old enough to vote this year?
Yup

Has anyone ever told you something you didn't want to know?
Hell Yeah. People always telling me something I dont want or need to know.

Has anyone ever spoiled the ending of a movie, book, etc. for you?
Yup and made no use of me watching or reading the book anymore.

Do you like yogurt by any chance?
Hell yeah they yummy.

Do you have a wide selection in song genres?
Do I? if I type them here it will fill up this whole dam blog post. But my most favorites are all of keyshia cole songs.

Have you ever fallen asleep in a furniture store?
Naw but I felt like going to sleep in the IKEA store cause they furniture feels so great.

Do you hate it when your nose itches really bad?
Hell yeah

Well I answered those questions and decided to post them here. LoL Cause im at home bored.
so can you answer them???

Bored day

2008-10-14T21:16:00.008-04:00

TOOK ME LIKE 3O MINUTES TO THINK IF I SHOULD TYPE A BLOG OR NOT. SHIT HALF THE TIME I DONT BE KNOWING WHAT TO SAY BUT OH WELL RIGHT? LOL. ALL DAY I BEEN THINKING ABOUT MY MAN CHRIS. HE'S LOCKED UP HOPEFULLY HE COMES HOME SOON. DAYS GOING BY AND IM KINDA GETTING SAD BUT IMMA BE JUST FINE AND I KNOWS THIS. BEING ALONE IS ALL PLAYED OUT. FOR REAL THOUGH ITS WHACK WAKING UP ALONE SOMETIMES. ''SAD FACE''.

WELL ME AND CHRIS GOT TOGETHER WHILE HE WAS IN PRISON 7-22-08 JUST SO YALL KNOW. LONG STORY ON HOW THAT SHIT HAPPEN. TO KINDA MAKE IT SHORT WE USE TO GO TOGETHER IN OCT OF 2002..WAY BACK RIGHT?? BUT SHIT AINT WORK OUT BACK THAN. SO WE JUST GETTING BACK TOGETHER. KRAZY RIGHT? I WENT AND VISITED HIM ON SEPT 20TH. IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE EVEN THOUGH I HAD TO VISIT HIM IN PRISON [I HATE THOSE DAM PALCES] . HOPEFULLY I GO SEE HIM THIS WEEKEND. BUT ANTEEWAYS. AM I IN LOVE? YES I AM IN LOVE MAY SOUND STUPID BUT THATS WHAT I FEEL. HE CALLS ME EVERY DAY ALMOST FIVE TIMES A DAY OR MAY MORE. I KNOW FOR A FACT THIS DUDE LOVES AND IS IN LOVE WITH ME NOT JUST CAUSE HE SAY IT BUT BECAUSE I CAN FEEL IT. WHEN I WENT AND SENT HIM HE WAS SO HAPPY I FELT IT WHEN HE HUGGED ME.

PEOPLE TELLING ME I SHOULDNT FALL SO FAR DEEP CAUSE HE MIGHT GET OUT OF PRISON AND FORGET ABOUT ME. MY MOM EVEN SAID THAT. SO I SAY IF THATS WHAT HE DO WHICH I BELIEVE HE WONT. THIS MIGHT SOUND STUPID BUT...IF HE IS JUST USING ME JUST SO I CAN RIDE WITH HIM UNTIL HE GET HOME OR WHATEVER AND THAN FORGET ABOUT ME THAN THATS ON HIM BECAUSE I AINT GON LET ONE NIGGAH SPOIL IT FOR THE REST JUST WILL HAVE TO MOVE ON FEEL ME?. IM NOT GON BE CRYING. CAUSE I BEEN THROUGH ALOT OF SHIT AND GOT OVER IT .IMMA STRONG WOMAN.

IN MY HEART I FEEL THAT HE WONT HURT ME. I TRUST HIM. AND I NEVER TRUSTED ANYBODY THAT MUCH LIKE I TRUST THIS DUDE. HE PROMISED TO NOT HURT ME BUT THATS NOT WHY IM TRUSTING HIM. IM TRUSTING HIM CAUSE THATS WHAT MY HEART TELLING ME TO DO. I ALWAYS FOLLOW MY HEART. NOW WHEN MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT SHOULDNT TRUST OH BELIEVE ME I WILL STOP TRUSTING THIS DUDE. HE IS SO SWEET HE EVEN ASK TO SPEAK TO MY SON WHEN HE CALLS. [HE KNOWS THE DEAL WITH ME AND MY BABYFATHER TOO AND HE AINT FEELING THAT]. HE SAID HE WOULDNT MIND BEING QUAN STEPFATHER THOUGHT. THATS SWEET GLAD HE ACCEPTS MY SON. HE SAID HE LOVES QUAN ALSO AND HE HAVENT EVEN SEEN THE BAD ASS BOY YET LOL. HE TOLD ME THAT ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH ME ITS KOOL CAUSE HE LOVE ME DEEPLY AND IMMA BE HIS WIFE SOME DAY. ISNT THAT SWEET?

I DONT WANT THIS DUDE TO DO FOR MY SON WHEN HE COMES HOME CAUSE IT AINT HIS CHILD. NOW IF HE DOES WHICH HE SAID HE WAS GON TAKE CARE OF ME AND QUAN. THAN I WOULD BE THANKFUL BUT I WOULDNT GO TO HIM WHEN MY SON NEEDS SOMETHING. FEEL ME? GET WHAT IM SAYING. "I DONT DEPEND ON NOBODY". THAT JUST THE WAY I AM. LIKE TO BE "MISS INDEPENDENT" THATS ALL. BUT I WOULDNT MIND A LIL HELP EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THOUGH.

ANTEEWAYS ENOUGH TALKING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE SOON TO BE MARRIED..LOL

WELL TODAY I HAD A LONG ASS DAY. MY SON WAS HELLA LATE FOR DAYCARE THANKX TO MY ASS WAKING UP LATE BUT HE STILL WENT SO THAT SHOULD BE ALL THAT MATTERS. "BETTER LATE THAN NEVER" RIGHT??. THAN AFTER TAKING HIM DAYCARE I CAME HOME AND THATS WHEN THE "BOREDOM" STARTED KICKING IN SHIT WAS I BORED. SO OUT OF KNOW WHERE MY FRIEND TEXTS ME. DAM WHATS HIS NAME??? I THINK ITS "JAY". WELL HIS ASS TELLS ME HE COMING AROUND MY WAY SO IM THINKING TO MYSELF "EWWW I DONT WANNA SEE THIS DUDE". AND NOT NOT EVEN UGLY. JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU DONT WANT TO SEE NOBODY. SO I TEXT HIM OKAY KOOL. BEING THAT I AINT WANNA BE IN THE HOUSE AND HE HAS A CAR.

SO I HAD TO TELL HIM MY STREET ADDRESS NOT THE NUMBERS THOUGH HE DONT NEED TO KNOW THE NUMBERS. SURPRISE HE KNOW HOW GET OUT HERE IM ASSUMING HE BE OUT HERE ALOT OR MAYBE HE DONT MAYBE HE GOT ONE OF THOSE DIRECTIONS SHITS IN HIS CAR. FORGOT THE NAME OF IT!!

BUT ANTEEWAYS..............................................

20 MINUTES LATER HE TEXTS ME THAT HES OUTSIDE. SO I GET OUTSIDE WALKING TO HIM IN HIS CAR SO WHOLE TIME WALKING TO HIS CAR IT SEEM SO LONG SO IM THINKING TO MYSELF THIS GON BE MY SECOND TIME SEEING THIS DUDE JAY AND I LOOK A KRAZY KINDA MESS {JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS} OH WHAT THE HELL WHO CARES I DONT CAUSE HE AINT MY MAN AND NEVER WILL BE CAUSE I GOT A MAN AND HE BETTER NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS.

IN THE CAR NOW. OH SHIT HERE GOES THE QUESTIONS. THINK I WAS MOODY CAUSE ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...

HIM-CAN I GET A HUG?

WHAT THE FUCK HE WANT A HUG FOR?? NOW YOU KNOW I AINT GIVE HIS ASS NO HUG

ME-NAW
HIM-DAM ITS MAD HAWT OUT HERE I THOUGHT THE COPS WAS GON PULL ME OVER SO MANY OF THEM
ME-WHAT YOU SCARED?
HIM-NO JUST SAYING
ME-OKAY RETARD
HIM-WHY I GOTTA BE A RETARED?
ME-CAUSE YOU WANNA SEE PEOPLE EARLY IN THE MORNING
HIM-WHAT I CANT SEE YOU?? YOU GOT OUT?

HOW THE HELL HE GON ASK TWO QUESTIONS AT ONCE. WTF SLOW DOWN

ME-YEAH I GO OUT SOMETIMES

LOL SEE FOR HIM BEING FAST I ONLY ANSWERED ONE OF HIS QUESTIONS

HIM-WHAT HAPPEN TO THOSE FLICKS YOU WAS SUPPOSE TO SEND ME?

I DO NOT RECALL TELLING THIS DAM DUDE I WAS GON SEND HIM PICTURES SO IM GUESSING THAT WAS HIS WAY OF ASKING CAN I SEND HIM A PICTURE. SO I SENT ONE

ME-WOW WHEN I SAID THIS?
HIM-YOU SAID IT
ME-OKAY RIIIGHT I JUST SENT ONE JUST NOW DID YOU GET IT?
HIM-NO I AINT GET IT LET ME SEE YOU SENT FOLDER

SINCE HE PROBALLII THOUGHT I WAS LYING I SHOWED HIM

ME-LOOK FOOL
HIM-WOW I DONT EVEN GOT A NAME IN YOUR PHONE THATS MESSED UP
ME-I KNOW YOUR NUMBER BY HEART SO NO NEED FOR A NAME

I JUST G'eD HIM KNOWING DAM WELL I DONT KNOW HIS NUMBER BY A HEART. SO I STORED HIS NUMBER. LOL I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I NEVER STORED HIS NUMBER TO BEGIN WITH. MAYBE CAUSE WHEN HE BAGGED ME OR WHATEVER I JUST GAVE HIM MY NUMBER AND KEPT IT MOVING LOL THAN HE TEXTED ME RIGHT AWAY. AND BEIN THAT I NEVER DELETE CERTAIN TEXT HIS NEVER GOT DELETED SO THATS HOW I KINDA KNOW ITS HIM WHEN HE TEXT ME AND PLUS HE THE ONLY ONE WHO TEXT ME WITH NO NAME....

BUT ANTEEWAYS HIS CAR IS HELLA FLY AND PRETTY AND ITS UP TO DATE 2008 YESSSIR BUT I JUST FORGOT THE NAME OF IT. OH YEAH HE KUTE TOO. BUT I HAVE A MAN SO I DONT CARE FOR HIS ASS. AND PLUS HE BORES ME EVEN MORE.

KRAZY THING IS HE STILL HASNT GOT MY PICTURE THAT I SENT WHEN I WAS IN HIS CAR. OH WRLL THAT SUCKS TO BE HIM RIGHT? CAUSE I AINT SENDING IT AGAIN. I DONT THINK I WANNA SEE DUDE AGAIN WELL IM NOT SURE CAUSE HE KOOL BUT HE JUST SEEM LIKE A BORING TYPE. SITTING IN HIS CAR WAS JUST A COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME CAUSE ALL WE DID WAS SIT IN HIS CAR AND HE ASEKD QUESTIONS NOT THAT I WANTED MORE JUST SAYING HE COULD OF DROVE SOMEWHERE OR SOMETHING. WE WAS BETTER OFF TEXTING AND LEAVING IT LIKE THAT. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. CAUSE DUDE SEEM HELLA LAME FOR SOME WEIRD REASON.

SO AFTER SEE THAT LAME DUDE JAY LOL. I WENT UPSTAIRS OR WHATEVER. SO HOUR LATER IM THINKING TO MYSELF "JAY SAID HE WAS GOING TO WORK BUT I NEVER ASKED HIM WHERE HE WORK". SO I TEXTED HIM.

ME-WHERE YOU WORK AT?
HIM-HAVE TO TELL YOU IN PERSON WHEN I SEE YOU 2M
ME-YEAH UH HUH

AFTER THAT I STOPPED TEXTING HIM

HIM-IM SERIOUS ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN SO I HAVE TO TELL YOU FACE TO FACE

STILL AINT TEXT HIM BACK AFTER THAT LAST TEXT FROM HIM. CAUSE WHATS SO HARD TO EXPLAIN ABOUT WHERE YOU WORK AT? I DONT GET IT. I SHOULD OF TEXTED HIM BACK BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO. JUST WAIT TIL HE SAYS HE'S "DOWN STAIRS" AGAIN WHICH MIGHT BE 2M WHO KNOWS. CAUSE I DAM SURE WANNA KNOW WHERE HE WORK. AND THIS TIME IMMA MAKE SURE HE TAKES ME FOR A RIDE IN THAT PRETTY ASS CAR. HE JUST BETTER NOT STOP BY NO STORE AND LEAVE ME IN THE CAR CAUSE I MIGHT DRIVE OFF. SIKE NAW CAUSE I CANT EVEN DRIVE LOL. SAD RIGHT? NOR DO I HAVE A PERMIT OR LISCENSE. GOTTA SOLVE THOSE PROBLEMS ASAP.

WELL THATS IS FOR THIS BLOG

Never ToO Old

2008-10-08T09:35:00.011-04:00

So it was 9:00am today when my homeboy started hittting me up on AIM. I was just coming back from taking my son (Daquan) to daycare. LoL thank god, Cause all I hear is Ma Ma Ma Ma or No No No No, he be calling be for no reason. (LoL).He a Little bad ass sometimes tho.

But anteeways here the convo me and my homeboy had through AIM.

Homeboy-Time 2 get up now
Homeboy-Nomore sleeping
Me-Im up asshole
Me-Cant u read "aways"?
Homeboy-O i c my bad crusty
Me-U crustie
Homeboy-Get him ready and make sure he not late, if he be late I am beating u up
Me-He already went lmaoooooooo
Homeboy-Oo u luck, wat u doin now watching maury
Me-Naw I dont watch that anymore..im watching baby looney tunes
Homeboy-Wow
Me-yea I love tweety bird
Homeboy-How old are u again like 40 watching looney tunes
Me-19..so wat u never too old to watch cartoons, I do have a son so its natural for me to watch it
Homeboy-Ik lol
Me-Dont be laughinh cuz ya never too old for anything
Homeboy-U right my bad for laughing

Well my point of this blog is I dont think ya never too old to watch cartoons. They be so interesting at times. I love watching them with my son. We watch SpoungeBob Square pants sometimes. LOL him and patrick are too funni. I watch Dora with my niece Icisis (pretty name right?) when she comes over on the weekends sometimes. She's 7 years old be 8 in December. And oh Lord she acts just like me sometimes (A LiL Verison of Latoya) She got my Attitude and its just ughhhhhhhhhhh well me and her mom got the same attitude so LoL. I call her my daughter cause every since she started walking she been coming to my house like every weekend. LoL Wow 7 years ago I was 13. Mad young. I know yall like what this have to do with "Never ToO old" right??? LoL oh well just thought I throw a few extra stuff in there too. But anteeways I dont think im never too old to do anything for example::Bike riding, Swinging on swings, Coloring, Play board games, and etc...
Bike riding::Havent rode my bike since May 2006. Do I plan on riding it again anytime soon? Naw I dont plan on riding it until my son learns how to ride a bike. Than we can go bike riding together. Great idea right?

Swinging on swings::Last time I swung on a swing at a park was last month (Sept). Icisis was on the swing and for some reason it looked pretty fun cause she was hype and like weeeeeeeeeeeeeee auntie weeeeeeeeeeeee. So I said "Icisis let auntie get on" She said you gon push me after im like yesssir. So I got on the swing for 5 mintes it was fun but not like the old days

Coloring::Now that I dont do and havent done since I was little. But pretty soon imma have to start with my son better yet I might start coloring with him today when he come back from Daycare. So what the hell right?

Playing Board Games::Now I play them once in a blue moon with my niece(Icisis). It be boring sometimes though. Espeacilly when we play that long ass game "MoNopoly" I dont know how to spell it, well I think thats how you spell it. I use to love that game when I was younger but nobody really wanted to play with me with it. They use to play for like 15-20 mins and be like okay they dont wanna play nomore. Now I see why cause its a long ass game. LOL

Yes so im BASICALLY saying your "NEVER TOO OLD" for anything!!

Here is a picture of me and my niece Icisis..Isnt she pretty?? YUP YUP. I just plain out ol' look sad right?? ..DAM SMFH @ me!!